Weeping may endure for a night.....

I was talking to my friend quite a while ago. We were sharing things about our lives as good friends often do. She said something that has never really left me.

We were talking about this verse....
Psalm 30:5b - weeping may endure for the night, but joy comes in the morning.

We were both kinda going through a season of weeping. Where everything looked like it was falling apart and we just didn't understand why.

I think I made the comment "but our joy is coming."

She said something like "is it? We aren't promised anything until we get to heaven."

I didn't know how to answer her.

Because I was wondering if she was kinda right.

God's word is so full of promises. Things we can cling to, but we may never see come to fruition in our life time.

My favorite stories in the bible is the stories of the Isrealites and how God brought them out of Egypt, how he brought them through 40 years of wandering in the desert bc of their sin and how he brought them into the promise land, about how God fought for them in the promise land. I love how God supplied their every need during the whole time. But yet they grumbled and complained and still turned from him. And how God would bring them back to him every time. Deuteronomy 30 is one of my favorite chapters and one that I try and apply my life to even still. You have a choice, to choose life or to choose death. The choice is yours.

Vs 19-20 This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses, Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him, For the Lord is your life and he will give you many years in the land he swore he will give to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.

Doesn't that give you chills??

I have come back to these verses many many times since I first read it.

How do I put into practice these things? How do I choose life?

Vs 16 - For I command your today to love the Lord your God to walk in obedience to him and to keep his commands decrees and laws then you will live and increase and the Lord your God will bless you in the land you are entering to possess.

These verses have been a balm to me. They truly have. There have been so many times when I have fretted over different things, about making a decision or what should I do or where should I go or whatever it may be.....

But I really don't have to fret over it.

I just have to obey today what God is telling me to do. I just have to seek him today. To love him today. And tomorrow will work out.

So what does this all have to do with joy comes in the morning??

It has been a while since I have had that conversation with my friend.

Our little family has been through it. Our "season of weeping" while hard, and seemingly unending at times....

I have seen JoY.

Amazing joy.

I have seen God do some incredible things in our life. Things that only God himself could do. He has stilled the raging waters. He has turned the desert into a lush pastures.

I LoVe Psalm 23:2-3 He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me besides quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name's sake.

I think the key to it all is finding the joy in the weeping.

Because it's there.

I promise.

Look for it today.

I know at times it hard to see any good come from your situation.

Romans 8:28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

But good will come. One day you will see it.

In those dark days, when you think you can barely hold your head above the water think of these verses:

Deuteronomy 31:8 - The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you, Do not be afraid, do not be discouraged.

Isaiah 43:2 - When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you.

You will go through hard times in your life. Seasons of weeping, sometimes seemingly unending seasons.

They will not overwhelm you, you will not be burned, it will not consume you.

One of the hardest things you will ever have to do, but is one of the best things you can do is this:

1 Thes 5:18 - In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.

In everything. give thanks.

When one of your best friends dies of cancer.

Give thanks.

Because she is now with her heavenly father. Pain free.

When your husband loses his job. again.

Give thanks.

Because God has something different in store.

When you can't pay that bill.

Give thanks.

Because God promises that he will meet your every need.

And he will.

Even  when you don't see how.

joy will come.

and give thanks when it does.

So while God's word is full of promises that I am never see in my life, I do know that when he says that life can be found in choosing His way, I'm going to believe it.

Walk in His ways

I had kind of an a ha moment this morning....

Don't you love those??

I have been thrown into some uncharted waters as of late with an issue with my neighbor. We have always had good neighbors and so this has all taken my by somewhat of a surprise.

Don't get me wrong.

They are good people.

They really are.

I do not want to go into the details of all that has been happening.

But I will share my heart on the matter.

I think that healing and restoration comes when people stop pretending and start being real with each other.

I want to be genuine.

So here goes.

In the beginning I really feel that I was innocent in the matter.

I did not know where her frustration and anger were coming from. ( and I still don't ) 

But as time went on, walls were built. Walls of bitterness and anger and frustration. Walls built from lack of communication and common decency.

You can't delete your neighbor off of facebook and expect to then have them deleted out of your life completely.

Especially if we are both children of God.

Which I truly believe we are.

Which makes this whole thing even sadder.

So since this is unchartered territory.

I took it to the only place where I know to turn when my heart is overwhelmed.

I took it to the Rock that is higher then me.

Every morning, I have just poured my heart out to God. I have prayed that he would show me my heart and the wrong that I have done.

And he has.

And I trust will continue to do.

In the meantime..... I have felt this whole pulling from my sin nature to "get even" to allow my heart to be bitter and angry and to really seek to be justified in the wrong that has been invoked on me.

But when I open the bread of life.... my instruction book..... I read to love your neighbor as yourself..... to not repay evil for evil...... to love deeply..... to turn the other cheek...... to have my love be sincere ( yikes.... have you ever heard the saying fake it till you make it?? I think that's what I try to do sometimes.) But I am commanded to have a sincere love.

And I truly believe all this.

I TrY to live like this.

It is my hearts desire.

But I have FaiLeD. miserably.

I have acted out of anger and just complete frustration.

And I am sorry for that.

I don't know how to make amends now.

But I trust God to guide me in it.

But back to my point....

So I read all this stuff about how I am supposed to act and respond.....

and then I have been reading in Psalms and in Isaiah and there are verses like this...

Psalm 59:10-13 - God will go before me and will let me gloat over those who slander me. But do not kill them Lord our shield, or my people will forget. In your might uproot them and bring then down. For the sins of their mouths, for the words of their lips,  let them be caught in their pride. For the curses and lies they utter, consume them in your wrath, consume them till they are no more. Then it will be known to the ends of the earth that God rules over Jacob.

or

Isaiah 25:10-12 - The hand of the Lord will rest on this mountain; but Moab will be trampled in their land as straw is trampled down in the manure. They will stretch out their hands in it, as swimmers stretch out their hands to swim. God will bring down their pride despite the cleverness of their hands. He will bring down your high fortified walls and lay them low; he will bring them down to the ground, to the very dust.

What a contrast right??

In my flesh..... YES!!! This is what I want. I want God to come and repay them for all this craziness, all this unrest.

Back to my Aha moment....

 I really am getting to it.

After pondering these verses.....

I ran across this little prize.

Isaiah 26:7-8 - The path of the righteous is level; you, the Upright One, make the way of the righteous smooth. Yes, Lord, walking in the way of your laws, we wait for you; your name and renown are the desires of my heart.

I think that yes, God WANTS me to be kind and loving. He knows I am going to fail, but that is the beauty of Him. He is quick to offer grace and mercy and forgiveness at the foot of the cross. And in so doing, I can pour grace and mercy and forgiveness on those around me. And I am willing to do so.

The difference in these verses that I see is that the showing love to my neighbor part implies something that I am commanded to do. It is up to me to die to myself, to my flesh, to the part of me that wants to get even. And the verses in Psalm and Isaiah are up to God to deliver.

It is my job to stay connected to the Giver of Life. To my Abba. To my Lord.

He promises that He will protect me from harm. And from those who slander and have an evil intent in their heart. He has promised that He will vindicate me.

My job is to walk in the way of His laws. And even though I feel like I am not quite walking... more stumbling through this life, being tripped up by my own stupidity.... I wait for Him.

Because His name and renown are truly the desires of my heart.

I WaNt others to see Jesus in me.

Even though I fail at this on a daily basis.

To be moldable clay that God can form and turn into a thing of beauty.

What happens when women say yes to God.....

I don't know how many of you know this, but for the past 3 months I have been trying to lose weight. I have given myself over to counting the dreaded calories keeping them to 1222 which was what my app said to do and exercising. I have chosen biking to be my favored form of exercising.

I enjoy biking. I really do.

My Dad gave me his old bike, and I have put it to good use. We were given a child carrier and Emma and I have ridden. Miles. Thankfully she likes it. ;)

I have been so very frustrated that all this working out just didn't seem to be helping. After a conversation I overhead and totally butted in on at church, I was told to increase my calories by about 500 and add a lot of protein. She thought I wasn't eating enough.

So I did. I increased my calories and added protein.

I am thankful for that lady. Because I no longer feel like I am going to stab somebody in the eye with a fork out of hunger anymore. I feel more satisfied, and feel like I can make it now between snacks and meals.

The 1st 2 months I admit I would cheat here and there. But I thought ......goodness, just giving up soda and ice cream and incorporating exercise into my day should be enough to kick start some weight loss.

I have lost a total of 5 pounds.

This past month, I was on it. I tried my ever living best. I even started having daily dates with Jillian Michaels.  But the pounds did NOT come off. In fact not a single ounce had come off. I know what some of you are thinking....well muscle weighs more then fat....blah blah blah....my clothes still fit the same and I was done with the whole blasted thing. Done I tell yah.....

This past Friday was my official weigh in day for myself. I walked away almost in tears. I felt like I have been killing myself.....for what?? To not lose anything?? To still be stuck at the same size as I was when I would eat anything I wanted. To me it seemed hopeless.

I am so thankful that I have a God who listens to his children....and not only listens....but then does something that only he can do.

You see.....after JP fixed our laptop, I found this picture online and I put it as the backdrop to my laptop. I immediately fell in love with the bike. I loved the color, I loved the little basket on it.

It was just beautiful to me.

The women in our church just finished a bible study called What happens when Women say yes to God by Lysa Terkeurst

Good study.

In one of the beginning weeks, one of my friends Jennifer in my small group said that she felt that God was prompting her to give away her bike. Her new bike. Her treasured bike that she had purchased for herself because she loved it. She loved the way she felt when she rode it.

But she felt the gentle tugging on her soul that God was telling her to give it away.

This past week in our study, Lysa really stressed that if you felt God was telling you to do something then to take the steps to do it.

So on Friday, Jennifer, after being reminded to give her bike away, took pictures of it and posted it on facebook. And said...hey, I'm giving this bike away, anyone want it?

Friday night, I jumped on facebook real quick while I was running errands and saw her post. I said...hey sure I'll take the bike....not really thinking anymore of it.

Later that night after I got home, I checked facebook and I had a message from Jennifer saying that I wanted the bike it was mine. We made plans for me to come pick it up the next morning.

I shut my internet down and I saw the background of my laptop.... and low and behold I saw this teal bike staring at me. And I thought....no way......NO WAY!!!!

Because you see......

This is the bike that I was given......A most beautiful teal bike. With not only a beautiful basket, but also a cup holder on it.....just because God could.

This story might not impress anyone else in the world. And that is fine with me. But it not only impresses me....it stopped me in my tracks. I was floored. Only my God could have done that.

And I heard gently in my soul My child do not give up..... to continue on this slow process of losing weight.

 

Today, I pray for my friend Jennifer......that God richly blesses her. I pray that God opens up the floodgates of heaven and shows her something only He can do. She allowed God to use her to not only bless me but encourage me. She is a woman that says YES to God. I want to be like that.

 

So now my friends....I am off to ride my God-bike.

Life and Peace

Hello there.

Has anyone else noticed how silent my blog has been? I have noticed, but have ignored it.

It's not that I haven't had anything to say, its well.....I didn't know how to say it or where to even begin. How to even describe what is going on in my head and my heart.

So I was silent.

And I still don't quite know if I will get the words right, or if at the end of this it will be anything even remotely to what I wanted to try and say.....

But here goes.

God.

A 3 letter word that means......so much.

And this God, has been wiping the old away in my life. He has been truly killing the old self, and molding me into something completely different. Something completely new. And with all humbleness, hopefully something more like him.

I feel like that tiny little seed that has been buried in the ground and then slowly, finally after a long winter, there is a little bit of green popping up. And it has turned from a tiny little seed into something new, something fresh.

My verse that I have clung to is this:

2 Corinthians 4: 7-8

But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed.

This summer has been a summer of affliction. It seemed we were hit on all sides,  one thing after another. At one point, I didn't even know if I could lift my head. I have been perplexed, and I have been struck down. But God in his graciousness taught me that He was the lifter of my head. He was my strength.

Psalm 3:3  But you, O Lord, are a shield about me, my glory, and the lifter of my head.

I can't tell you exactly how, but through prayer, and BEGGING God to.........to show himself, to teach me.....to pour his love onto me......somehow.....He did.

I think through all this.....stuff......God has wanted one thing from me.

To die daily to myself.

And it has been death to get me to that point.

I have spent many many phone conversations, texts and emails with my dear dear friends talking this thing out.....

what it means to die to oneself so that God may be gloried in you.

I STRUGGLED.....with this......

Romans 8:5-6

For those who live according to flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the spirit set their minds on the things of the spirit. For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the spirit is life and peace.

To set the mind on the spirit is life and peace.

Don't we all want life and peace????

This summer.....was not life and peace.

I wanted none of it. I would have chosen not ONE thing this summer to have to go through.

This summer was death and war.

But the bible says.....to set the mind on the spirit is life and peace.

I wanted.....no I want.....life and peace.

But more then even that, I want to be led by the Spirit.

God certainly has a sense of humor.

Everywhere I have turned these past months, I have been bombarded with.....dieing to self......so that Christ may be magnified. To say YES.....to whatever God has for me. To be available. To be an ambassador for Christ. (I just started a new bible study at church and it is called.....what happens when woman say yes to God. Yes. I believe God is trying to tell me something.)

I don't know what He wants from me. There isn't a huge sign saying......Julie, this is what you are to do with the rest of your life. But for now....I think he just wants to know if I am willing.

I still don't necessarily have an answer about how living in the spirit is life and peace.

I ran across this quote in a bible study I did this summer.....

I know of no greater simplifier for all of life. Whatever happens is assigned....are some things, then, out of the control of the Almighty?

Every assignment is measured and controlled for my eternal good. As I accept the given portion other options are canceled. Decisions become much easier, directions clearer, and hence my heart becomes inexpressibly quieter....A quiet heart is content with what God gives. ~ Elisabeth Elliot, Keep a Quiet Heart

Love it.

A quiet heart is content with what God gives.

Good or bad.

Death or War.

I will be content.

This is what I know......

That I want to follow hard after God.

That I want to have a relationship with the God of the universe. The God who loves me and knows me by name. That the God of the universe, is the lifter of my head and the one who sings over his children.

I know that I want to have a heart that says Yes to Him. That I will see those around me and be burdened that they may lost and spending an eternity in hell.

I want God to use me. To make a difference in someones life.

I want to be ok with whatever God has for me. Even if it seems like it is killing me. Even if while I am going through it I am afflicted and perplexed and persecuted and struck down. For I KNOW I will not be crushed or driven to despair or forsaken or destroyed.

Galatians 5:22-23

But the fruit of the spirit of love, joy, peace, patience kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such there is no law.

And that my friends.....is life and peace.

Gettin Ready

I've been thinking lately.

Dangerous I know,

But still, I have.

I was thinking about Emma.

Emma wakes up early in the morning. She wants a bottle and then she will fall back to sleep for another couple hours.

I hear her stirring.

I hear her start to whimper.

She starts to cry with this pathetic little desperate cry. Like no one can hear her, like no one cares.

But you see I do hear. Almost as soon as I hear her stirring, I get up and start getting ready her bottle.

Sometimes, I have to wash one out.

I have to prepare the bottle, and wait for it it to heat up. It takes time to get it ready.

While I am in the kitchen getting things ready, it doesn't mean that I don't hear her.  I do hear her. I want to tell her that it will be ok. That I am working on it. That I am coming, that I am just getting it ready, but b/c she is whining and crying she isn't able to hear my voice.

I wonder if that is how God is. He hears us.

He hears us when we start to whimper.

He hears us when we wail and moan before him.

I wonder what He is trying to speak over us. What we aren't hearing b/c we aren't still and quiet. What we miss when we are crying our desperate little cry, that cry like no one can hear us and like no one cares.

So many of my dear friends are walking through tough times.

 real trials.

Trials where the only one that can bring help is God himself.

My heart aches for them. truly. I spent so much time through out the day praying for Gods intervention.


I know the burden that can be so heavy at times that you feel like you can barely stand under the pressure. Dear one, cry to Jesus. HE is big enough, strong enough to carry the weight of it.

With Emma once the bottle is done, then I go to her. I scoop her up, I sing songs and words of comfort and love over her. Once she is calm, once she is ready, then I can give her her bottle. The thing her heart has desired.

Yes, I wonder if that is how God is.

I think He desires us to be still. And when we aren't, he will come and pick us up, he will sing songs of comfort and love over us.

How?? I can't really explain. Other then a stillness in my soul, and quietness in my heart.

And once we are calm, once we are still, then He will give us what our soul longs for.

Whether it's rest, or healing, or peace, whatever it is, God in his goodness will give it.

Sometimes He's in the kitchen....gettin ready

Sometimes He's picking us up and sing songs over us

And sometimes.....He is pouring out his blessing.

His blessing to me this morning:

A quietness of the soul. A KNOWING that he was speaking to me.

I read Joel 2 this morning. What beautiful verses.

Joel 2:19 - The Lord replied to them: I am sending you grain, new wine and olive oil, enough to satisfy you fully; never again will I make you an object of scorn to the nations.

21 - Surely he has done great things! Do not be afraid, land of Judah; be glad and rejoice. Surely the Lord has done great things!

25a - I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten

26 - you will have plenty to eat, until you are full. And you will praise the Lord your God, who has worked wonders for you; never again will my people be shamed.

A "through" kinda faith......

I have been thinking for some time about testimonies. You know the kind.....sitting in church and either there is an evening set apart for singing and testimonies or just a song sung on a random night with a couple testimonies thrown in here and there. I am in no way making fun of testimony time. I think its good to proclaim the things that God does in our life. What has me thinking lately is that most testimonies only tell the good things. The times God has "come through" The times the healing has come, the marriage has been saved,  the time the bill has been paid.....you know....those things that PROVE that God is good to his people. My question is......what about the times when the money doesn't come in to pay the bill? what about the times when you get a call from the doctor and they say the cancer is back? what about the times your children have no desire to follow Christ? When the marriage looks like there is no hope to it. When the one thing that you want more then anything never comes to fruition? When your wife is laying sick and all you want to do it heal her, help her, comfort her.

What then? Where is that testimony? Is God not good even then? Why do we only share the good things?

I have said so many times in the past year or two how GOOD God is. I noticed that it has usually been in "good" times. We are in a season where it isn't so good. Does that mean that God isn't here?

So here is my testimony.

We are in a hard place. A hard season. A season of not knowing, of insecurity, of waiting, and yes, even of fear. I lay awake at night and have conversations with God. While I'm talking with God, Satan is in my ear, telling me lie after lie. And man is he good. He knows just what to say to have me doubting. Doubting the goodness of God, doubting the believability of God,  which when I doubt that, I begin to doubt everything about Him. That God isn't here, that God doesn't see, that God doesn't care, that if God cared, he wouldn't allow.

I wake up feeling defeated and weak, knowing that I can not handle one more day.

What I need is a "through" kinda faith. What I want is a "through" kinda faith.

Hebrews 11:33 - 34 who through faith conquered kingdoms, administered justice,  and gained what was promised; who shut the mouth of lions, quenched the fury of the flames and escaped the edge of the sword; whose weakness was turned to strength; and who became powerful in battle and routed back foreign armies.

I want the kind of faith that I need to get me through something, not around it. It takes more faith to be delivered through something then from it. The "through" is hard. The "through" is painful. The "through"is when you want to quit bc you feel like you can't take another thing.

God desires to turn a weakness into a strength. The muscle that is strengthening in this weakness is what God is after. He's not out to change our circumstances, He's out to change me. He wants to turn weaklings into warriors and that only happens in the "through."

1 Peter 5:8 Be alert, be soberminded. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.

My desire is to shut the mouth of the lion. When he is sitting in my ear and telling me all kinds of lies, I need to know that he is already defeated. Yes, Satan knows that God is believable. That is why he does everything in his power to discourage us. To make us doubt.

Yes, I am in a hard season. A season of uncertainty. But I am so thankful that the God that I serve is believable. I do serve a GOOD God. Even in the hardness of life, in the not fun times, in the scary places, I want the "through" faith. The faith to know that I will get to the other side a stronger person, a person who's muscles may have been stretched but they are stronger in the stretching.

You see, I think my job is to remain. To remain attached to the one true vine. Attached to the words he has for me today. To not get myself all tied up into knots and in a dither about the... What could happen and the what if's. I just need to be still and remain.

Nothing caught God by surprise, nothing caught him off guard. If he has brought me to this.... Then he will bring me through it. There is good that will come from it.

May God give me the strength to remain faithful to him. To not let the fear consume me and make me pull back. Right now it would be a whole lot easier to pull back and say it isn't worth it. We were better off when we didn't do this or when we weren't in this season. But I want to be found faithful in the through. In the testing.

Hebrews 11:1 ~ Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.

I do not see an answer.

I do not see, I do not see, I do not see.

Hebrews 11 :27b ~ he persevered because he saw him who was invisible.

But I DO see a God who loves me. A God who has my best interest on his heart.

What is your testimony? Please.. What IS your testimony??

( I am so thankful for my bible study. I'm telling you, it continues to amaze me how God has lined up the lessons with exactly what I need. )

all these things will be given to you as well

We serve a good God.

This has been my life for the last couple months.

Usually on Sunday nights, J and I will head to the laundry mat and use the dryers. We will spend all day washing our laundry and then we haul all 20 loads of laundry and get them dried.

 

It isn't fun. It isn't glamorous. But its what needs to be done.

 

Like I said, this has been our life. I don't think I ever REALLY complained. I might have wanted to. It took so long because we were trying to fix the dryer we had. We were given a used dryer that didn't work from the moment we got it downstairs. (not the persons fault who gave it to us!! We were thankful!! :)  )

Once the dryer caught on fire, we pretty much knew that it wasn't worth fixing anymore. LOL!!!

And BTW, we were so thankful for God's protection over us during the fire. Very unnerving. It could have been WAY WAY worse. Thankfully the only thing ruined was the dryer.

Last Friday, I sat down to do the bible study that I am currently doing. (Which is Beth Moore, Living Beyond Yourself) I sat down, and I really prayed that God would speak to me. That He would make Himself real to me.

This is what I wrote in my journal and in my workbook......

Matt 6:8 ~ Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.

Lord, we need a dryer. It's a genuine need. Lord, somehow, please provide a dryer.

Matt 6:32-33 ~ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first His kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Thank you for knowing my need. Help me to seek your kingdom first. I don't really know how to do that. My faith is wearing thin Lord. Its been so long without a dryer. How long must I be patient?? A dryer. Such a little thing to you. But such a big thing to me.

Please provide.

(and just because I obviously didn't get it with the 1st 2 verses, God gave me 1 more verse for good measure)

Romans 8:32 ~ He who did not spare his own son, but gave him up for us all, how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?

Ok, Lord. I will wait. I will be patient. I will seek your kingdom 1st.

(earlier in the study, Beth had talked about Jesus feeding the 5,000.....isn't that SUCH a great story???)

These are the last 2 sentences in the study for that day.....

Is there a need you've placed before your Provider? Have you "given" Him ALL you have to offer, even if it's only a few loaves and fishes? Are you "sitting down" in a posture of trust and sitting quietly to receive it? If so, prepare the baskets!

Isn't that beautiful?!

This is the last thing that I wrote that day....

Yes, Lord, I will sit. I will wait. I will prepare the baskets ( I will prepare my laundry room by removing the old dryer and getting ready for the new one )

It's coming.....it's coming......it's coming....it's coming....

*immeasurably more, then I can ask or imagine*

The next morning, J and I were on Craiglist. We found a dryer, and we contacted the seller, and were excited to go get it.

In the meantime.....I got a phone call.

My little angel asked what our plans were for a dryer. I told our plans about how we were excited to go pick up this dryer we found.

She said that instead, she would like to take me out to get a new dryer.

What?? I was stunned!

I honestly didn't know what to say.

I tried to make excuses....

But she insisted.

So we made a date to go appliance shopping.

Appliance shopping.

(Wow!)

So we went.

She told me that God had laid it on her heart the night before that she was to do this. And that  instead of getting just a dryer, she wanted to get a washer and dryer. She wanted something that was going to last. Something that we didn't have to worry about, something that wasn't going to catch on fire. She hated worrying for us.

I was truly overwhelmed. Truly.

I was overwhelmed at the generosity. At the thoughtfulness.

I was overwhelmed at how God DOES see, just like He had told me the day before. THE DAY BEFORE!!! God spoke to me the day before and told me to prepare my baskets.....that it was coming.

Oh Yes Lord......it's coming. It's coming. It's coming. It's coming.

It came.

They were delivered today.

What. an. exciting. day!!!

Have you ever seen such a beautiful washer and dryer??

I have about 20 loads of laundry to do. I am amazed at how much fits in the tub.

Oh yes. Immeasurably more then we can ask or imagine.

Oh my dear friends.

My God's not dead.

My God is surely alive.

He walks with me and He talks with me.

He proves Himself faithful over and over and over again.

Seek Him. With your whole heart.

That's all He wants.

My little helper....

 

Tonight, I pray God's blessing over my little Angel. I pray that God blesses her just as much as she blessed me. And I pray that she got just as much joy from doing this as I got from seeing God work in my life.

WoW

WoW.

My head is still kinda trying to keep up with all that has happened.

You see, We have felt for quite a while now that God was doing something in our lives. We have waited, we have sought God's face, we have waited, we have walked through possible doors, we have waited, we have sought counsel, we have waited, we have prayed, and we have waited. And in the midst of all that, I have c.r.i.e.d. if you know me, well....yeah, you would know. ;)

We have wondered what God is doing. We have wondered where He was leading us. If He was moving us or if He wanted us to stay.

We have struggled this year to make the kids school payments. We knew that if God wanted to keep the kids at school, then He would provide.

We have never been comfortable with sending the kids to the public school here in town. We still aren't thrilled.

But....well, then God.....

We were absolutely adamant that Maddie would NOT go to the middle school. That school is s.c.a.r.y. and I couldn't fathom pulling my kids from the comfort of the christian school bubble and "throw them to the devil himself." 

But....well, then God....

Through a series of trying to make many different doors open, and trying many different things, and trying to wrack our brains for every possible opportunity, we knew that those possibilities weren't of God and every one of those doors were shut.

But....well, then God....

.......kinda opened a different door. A door that I didn't even know about. A door finally seemed like a possibility.

I was introduced to a performing arts program through the public school. It is audition based, and it is new, and it is scary for this little Ol momma.  In that big, scary, wild, probably even dangerous middle school. This little program is in a protected little bubble in the public school.

But....well, then God.

We were told, that yes, she could audition, and we knew that day, that YES!! They wanted Maddie.

All of a sudden, everything that we have wondered and everything.....well....became really very real.

When God moved, He moved fast.

I was frozen with fear.

I wanted to walk away. I wanted to stay in the comfort of everything that I had known, in everything the kids had known. I wanted to stay in the safety of......the comfortable. I actually really wanted to run.

All last night I struggled. I just knew that we had made the wrong decision. I knew that we had heard wrong.

But....well, then God.

God reminded me of Joshua. God told Joshua 4 times in Joshua chapter 1 to be strong and very courageous. Joshua was facing leading the Israelites into Canaan. He had to be strong and very courageous. God told Joshua that He would never leave him or forsake him. God told Joshua to get ready. God was moving Joshua.

Today, I was facing leading my children into a new school. I doubted and I cried, and I feared.

But God wanted me to be strong and courageous.

What peace God gave me. How he calmed his child. How I am so very thankful.

Courage....

courage is not the absence of fear, it is the willingness to move forward in spite of it.

courage is the attitude of facing....anything recognized as dangerous, difficult or painful instead of withdrawing from it.

I needed courage. And courage is what God gave me.

Joshua 1:16 ~ Then they answered Joshua, whatever you have commanded us we will do, and wherever you send us we will go.

This morning, before the busyness of my day began, I told God, that whatever he commands us we will do and wherever He sends us we will go.

And my soul knew that He would go before us.

So with my fear quenched, and a resolve in my heart we "faced the devil"

I was able to stay with Maddie for a little bit this morning. I was able to help her get her locker set up, and talk to the school nurse, and walk her to her 1st class.

And then....well, God.

Then God just wowed me.

Because He can.

The whole class turned to Maddie and all of them talked at once welcoming her to the school and telling her how excited they were to see her and just showing her kindness. Which is awesome in and of itself.

But then, her teacher came to me, and looked me in the eye, and said...

don't be afraid, I've got this.

I'll watch out for her.

I graduated from North Love.

And I love Jesus.

W.O.W.

Overwhelmed.

Yes, I was the crazy mother who with tears in my eyes, hugged this teacher I didn't even know.

This kindred spirit.

I walked out of that school with proof that we were where we were supposed to be. That although I don't understand the why of it all, I don't need to. But I have faith that we are where we are supposed to be.

WoW

I spent the rest of the day getting Nathan set up at his school (where I feel much more comfortable with) He met with his teacher and he knows where his classroom is. And he is excited that his neighbor boy friend is in his class. His 1st day is tomorrow.

He is nervous, and he is sad about leaving what he knows. About leaving his friends. But I think a little excitement is growing in him.

If you think about him tomorrow say a little prayer for him.

When you ask God, to take your box of what you know of Him, and shake it upside down, do not be surprised when he does it.

El Shaddai

In my bible study, we are talking about promised land living, and what it means. One of the signs of promised land living is expecting miracles.

I think I struggle with this. You see,  I see the miracles in the Bible and I wonder why these great and mighty miracles don't happen today..... to me or the people around me. Maybe they do and I am not aware of them because people don't talk about them.

This has been something on my mind for quite some time now. Expecting miracles.

To be one in a million, to see God working and moving in my life, yes.....I want that. I want that with my whole heart.

To expect miracles.

Well....yes. I expect miracles. But maybe I am expecting the wrong thing. I'm not talking about...... that God wouldn't work. Because I know He does. But my way is not God's way. His idea of a miracle may not be mine.

You see, this week, I have been expecting a miracle. I have been expecting God to take care of something. Something I don't really want to get into the details of. But Jeremy and I have been anxiously awaiting to see God move....in a big huge way. We wanted to see something that only God could do.  And as we would tick the days off the week, we kept waiting. And the miracle never came.

Well....in the way I thought it would.

My ways are not God's ways. I am not God. And He doesn't always choose to tie things up in a pretty box with a pretty ribbon and hand it to us.

No, this week, God did not do the miracle I was expecting.

But then God.

Did.

When the Israelites were walking to Canaan. Moses had died and Joshua was now their leader, they had to cross the Jordan river. At that point the Jordan was swollen. At flood stage, the river was 50 times wider then normal. I can't even imagine how big it was. I can't even imagine how raging the waters were sweeping by them. 50 times wider then normal.

This week, yes, this week has been tough. It has been "tougher then normal." Maybe not 50 times more, but the burden has been deeper, heavier then normal.

I have spent time on my knees, face down in front of my God. And everyday, I have gotten up. Expecting. Anxiously awaiting to see His miracle. I didn't know what it was or how it would come. But I HAD to have faith to see the unseeable.

A prayer of my heart has been that God would take my box, that box of who I thought He is, who I have been taught He is, the box that we put our past experiences with God in, that box where we throw our disappointments with God into and  turn it upside down and shake it out. God is not a God of the Sunday morning pew who so many many good bible believing Christians think He is. My God is not dead, He lives and He moves and He shows Himself to those who earnestly seek Him.

No, God was not silent this week. He had a horn shouting in my ear and in my heart. And I am so grateful. It came by means of a sermon online. (My friend Jenn told us about it in our small group at Bible Study. It has touched her heart last week and she wanted to share.) TD Jakes preaches a sermon called Save the Scraps. Amazing. I sat at my kitchen table this week drinking it in. Eating the Bread of Life. Meat. That my hungry soul has been craving.

Listen to the sermon if you have a little while. It is in 3 parts. I can't find it in 1 whole segment.

Save the Scraps part 1

Save the scraps part 2

Save the scraps Part 3

If you listen to the sermon, the following might be a little more clear.

What I learned, what I came away with (besides my 6 pages of notes) was the miracle is in the breaking. The sermon was based on the 2 fish and 5 loaves. The miracle of that day didn't happen until Jesus broke the bread. Breaking had to occur before the miracle could happen. And each time the breaking came, the miracle became more and more.

I sat there and my God was breaking my will. Breaking my control. Breaking my expectations. Breaking my mold of who I thought God was.

Breaking me.

Miracles always begin in recognition of what you have. If you don't recognize what you have you can never multiply what you do not recognize.

God blessed something that wasn't enough. Until you can be thankful something that is not enough, you can't be thankful for the more then enough.

El Shaddai. More then enough.

Why would a God whos' name means more then enough, stop at enough? Why would David say, my cup runneth over? When God says I will pour out a blessing, I am not limited by your capacity to receive what I have. I intend for you to have overflow so that your children and your childrens children.....will have enough.

When the Israelites crossed that raging, swollen river. God had stopped the water from the north. So the Israelites walked across Jordan on dry ground.

He stopped the waters from flowing.

No, the miracle isn't what I thought it would be. The miracle for us is that He stopped the raging waters from flowing this week.

The Miracle has been something better. Something only God could do. Something only God could show me. I am so glad that He gave me ears to hear from Him.

The Miracle has been God turning the not enough into more then enough.

The miracle has been in saving the scraps.

The miracle has been in calming his child.

In me knowing El Shaddai.

Scraps. I will save the scraps.

This Mountain

I am walking through a kinda difficult time in my life. God is moving and doing things in my life in which I don't fully understand. I am fine with that. I know that God's ways are not my ways.

I am in the middle of this Bible Study. And I tell you it is challenging me in ways that I couldn't even really imagine. My honest prayer is that God really will change my life. I desire to be 1 in a million.

You see, I am now, in the middle of the wilderness. I know that God has led me here for a reason. The children of Israel didn't just happen upon the wilderness, God led them there for there good. He led them there because He knew they couldn't face war with the Philistines. God led them through the wilderness to teach them who He is and what he is capable of doing. They didn't have to make the journey last 40 years. That was there choice BC they disobeyed God.

I do not want to be like the Israelites I do not want to wander aimlessly for 40 years through this place. God has led me to this place in my life. He will speak kindly to me (Hosea 2:14) and he will gently lead me through it. I pray that I will not fail my tests as He brings them to me.

Today's study was intense. It was about Mt. Sinai. the Mountain of God. The place where God revealed himself to Moses. Twice. The place where God promised Moses that He would lead his people to.

Mt. Sinai was the furthest point south in the journey to the land of Canaan. The furthest point away from the land flowing with milk and honey.

The place where they were furthest away from their goal was where God showed himself.

I look at our life. And we seem to be so far from.....where we envisioned ourselves, from our hopes and dreams. And I know sometimes we wonder if it will always be like this. Will we always struggle though everything? Can things never go "easy" for us.

It seems to me that we are so very far from that place....that place of comfort, or "being able to breath easier" I surely know that things could get worse. I know that others have it worse.

Mt. Sinai was south. Canaan was far to the north. At the mountain of God, the Israelites were far from the place they desired. No milk or honey was in sight. But while the Hebrews longed for a land of external blessing and abundance, God called them to stop at Sinai. There they would discover internal blessing and an abundance that they didn't realize they needed. At Sinai they obtained intimacy and fellowship with the Lover of their souls, a gift far more precious and lasting then Canaan's milk and honey. I believe every wilderness journey leads to a Sinai experience. The place that seems distant from your desired destination provides fertile soil for God to reveal Himself to you.

You see, yes, I would love to be in my "Canaan," that place where we can breath a little bit better. But more then that, I truly desire to know my God. I desire to hear from God daily, and to walk in his footsteps. I desire to see Him work in ways I can't even imagine. I want him to transform my life. OuR LiVeS.

Maybe that is why God has us here. I don't know if I would have understood that. To want God more then we want that....... 1 thing in our life. What is that 1 thing that you long for?? A husband? A new house? A baby? A new job?

Seek for God more then you seek for that. That is what God wants.

Now if you are like me, when hard things happen in your life, you want to get through them as fast as possible. This wilderness that I am in hasn't been fun. It has been emotionally exhausting. It has been trying, it is a path of walking by faith and not by sight. For if I walked by sight, I would be a sinking ship. No....I want to learn whatever lesson I am supposed to learn and then hightail it out of this wilderness.

But what did the Israelites do when they came to the Mountain of God? Exodus 19:2 says that they camped there!!!! They put up their tent and camped out in front of the Mountain.

I don't know what it means to camp out in this wilderness of my life. Moses knew that he was leading the people of God to Holy ground. But on the chance that I am sitting in front of a Mountain of God. Holy Ground. I will pitch my tent and camp out so I can meet with God.

Friend, camp at this mountain with a glad heart. Despite the difficulty of the journey and with all your questions in tow, fully engaged in this season of God's chosen journey for you. Don't leave your bags packed in hopes God will quickly move you to Canaan. Don't miss out on what He wants to do "this very day" Settle in and turn your eyes to the mountain. The Lord wants to reveal Himself to you in a way that will change your life forever.

Wow.

So my prayer today, is to camp at the Mountain of God. I have so many questions. So many. But I pray that I am fully engaged in this wilderness journey that He has me on. I do not want to miss God working in the little details of my life. My eyes are turned to the Mountain.

May today be the day that I see the God that brought me out of Egypt. Lord, change my life and the life of my family. I pray that I see God supernaturally work in my life.

I love this song. Maddie and I were singing to it the other day.

*****The words written in italics were copied from my study book*****

If you get the chance, I highly recommend this study. It might just change your life.

The Wilderness

I am in the midst of a new Bible study. I am amazed at how this study in aligning with my life. I know that that is by no accident. We serve a God who cares so deeply for us.

I have asked God with arms wide open to change my life and the lives of my family. I want to see Him. I want to see my husband and children loving God in ways they couldn't imagine. He is living and breathing a truly cares about every detail of our lives. I have put my God in a box. That's what I have learned. That he could only work in the confines of these rules. These rules that we as "men" have placed on ourselves. I want to have such a relationship with God that I see him in my every day life. I want God to reveal himself to me in ways that I couldn't even imagine.

I say this with trepidation. Not because of anything I have done, but because I have seen God.....well... hear......I have seen God hear my cry today. You see this morning before I opened my Bible, I prayed that I would hear from Him today.  And did my study and it was great. I enjoyed it and I took away different aspects of what I was being taught.

But when I got to Bible study......I don't know if I have ever experienced such a flow of God's love as I did today. I was late getting to my small group. (I had spilled coffee all over my bag. And after cleaning up spilled coffee from my bible, and notebook, purse and phone.....well....it would have been easier to go home at that point!! ) But I stayed and sat down. And one of the 1st questions that was asked just brought me to tears. I had no intention of sharing my heart and soul, but I did. I was overwhelmed. I am not the kind of person to open up to strangers, but I know that today it was God pouring out his love to me in a small group of other believers. No answers were given, no problems solved, but a weight was lifted.

And God answered me and I heard him tell me that I was loved. Not because I had earned it, or because I did anything great. But because He is good. Because he is who he says he is and does what he says he will do. I was told on Sunday by my Mom to rest in his promises. His promises that all things do work together for our good, that even though we can't see the outcome that He already knows. To rest in what I know to be true of God.

God used a simple video session in Bible study to speak further to me. Its like He was talking straight to me and gave me these verses today and they have blown me away. Such beautiful verses that talked right into the very depths of my soul.

Hosea 2: 14-23

Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the wilderness and speak tenderly to her. There I will give her back her vineyards, and will make the Valley of Achor a door of hope. There she will respond as in the days of her youth, as in the day she came up out of Egypt. In that day, declares the Lord, you will call me 'my husband'; you will no longer call me 'my master'. I will remove the names of the Baals from her lips; no longer will their names be invoked. In that day I will make a covenant for them with the beasts of the field, the birds in the sky and the creatures that move along the ground. Bow and sword and battle I will abolish from the land, so that all may lie down in safety. I will betroth you to me forever; I will betroth you in righteousness and justice, in love and compassion. I will betroth you in faithfulness and you will acknowledge the Lord. In that day I will respond, declares the Lord - I will respond to the skies, and they will respond to the earth; and the earth will respond to the grain, and the new wine and the olive oil, and they will respond to Jezreel. I will plant her for myself in the land; I will show my love to the one I called 'Not my loved one.' I will say to those called 'Not my people,' 'You are my people'; and they will say, 'You are my God.'

I so strongly feel that God is moving me from the Land of Egypt in many different areas of my life. I am trying with God's help to lay down strongholds in my life. I feel very much like I am walking through a wilderness right now. I used to always associate "wilderness" times in my life as bad things. But not anymore. This time.... while hard, and emotional, and frustrating has brought me to tears many times. But I know that God is doing something in my life. I don't know what he is doing and I don't know where it is leading.  I know that I am on an uphill journey to know him more. As I walk uphill and stretch those muscles that I didn't quite know I had I am also hoping that I don't miss the lessons that God is showing me during this time. The wilderness is not the dessert. There is life in the wilderness.

God is leading me through the wilderness and he is speaking kindly to me. He has allured me with greater knowledge of his love and kindness for me.

Today, I will acknowledge the Lord and say............. " You are my God!!!"

Made to Crave

Lord, I have felt so much like giving up lately. I don't really know why. Nothing has really happened of late. It's just a small voice asking me if all of this is really worth it. I know that it is worth it. I think I just feel like quite the failure sometimes. Not in 1 giant way. But in 1,000 little ones. This made to crave journey is so much harder then I would have ever imagined. I wonder if I can really even call it a made to crave journey any more! ;) I have allowed some sweets into my life. The crazy thing to me is that now is when I have started losing weight again. I am smart about what I eat. If I do eat something "bad" then I don't pig out on it anymore. And I make sure that I get my exercise in for that day. But, still that food that is not beneficial to me is what I choose to eat. If you have eaten the peanut butter M&M's then you know what I am talking about!! ;)

I have said from the beginning that this isn't about losing weight. That it's about craving God above all else. I desire to crave God above my craving for those wonderfully perfect M&M's. But I wonder if I have sort of deceived myself. You see. I do want to lose weight. I was stuck at 10 pounds for 4 weeks. 4 weeks and not a single pound lost. To say that I was frustrated is the understatement of the year!! I was eating right and exercising but NOT LOSING ANYTHING!! So finally under the advice of my wise friend....I pigged out 1 night. I didn't gorge myself. And by the end of the week I was down 2 pounds!! FINALLY!!

I say all that to say.....that, yes, I desire to know God. I want him to feed me with some real truth from his word. But I DO want to lose weight also. And somehow....somehow the 2 corelate.

I think I would do ok if it weren't for school. We start making lunch and the smell of the cookies or the brownies sends all my resolve out the window. That craving smacks me across the face and almost demands me to eat it.

I do have to wonder if that is how an addict feels about his drugs. It's almost something that you just have no control over. No power to stop. I feel almost powerless when it comes to these cravings.

But then God.......

Then God reminds me of the truth of his word.

I know a couple things about God.....

1. God always makes a way of escape.

2.This craving is not bigger then God.

3. God will not give me something that is bigger then I can handle.

1 Corin 10:13~There hath no temptation taken you but such as in common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.

This verse is proof of all things truths to me.

Another thing I know is that God is the one who has kept me even TRYING to do this. If it were just me myself and I, I would probably be shoving fist fulls of M&M's into my mouth right about now. :0

So the truth of this journey is this.....

-yes, it is hard

-yes, I have cheated

-but I am still continuing toward this long term goal that I have.

-I haven't given up

-I still desire for God to be real in my life

-I still desire God to use my life for his glory and honor

-and God HAS made his power real in my life by just the meer fact that we are going on not quite 2 months of this and he alone has sustained me. Even when I have felt like giving up and felt like nothing was happening and it just plain wasn't worth it to me.

- I have lost 13 pounds!!

Psalm 73:2~But as for me, my feet were almost gone; my steps has well nigh slipped,

~ 73:26 My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

I have been reminded of a friend who is fighting some very real and very angry demons right now. I am sure that she is fighting some very real cravings in her life. Today, even more then I want the victory in my life over this "little, seemingly insignificant" demon of sugar. I beg you to give her the victory in her life. She is in a battle for her life. Pour your grace on her life Lord. Keep her safe. Show her your power today. Draw her to you in a very real and remarkable way. MAKE her to crave you more then anything else.

Growing up with Jesus

In Brother's class, they are reading a book called Growing up where Jesus Lived. This book has been fascinating to me. I do realize that this is a 2nd grade book, but they really do a good job (to my uneducated mind) explaining what things might have been like if we grew up in Jesus' time.

In 1 of the chapters it talks about the clothes that they wore back then. I have always known that men and woman wore robes. But they go into greater detail in the book about the clothes that were worn.

What people wear is something that is so unimportantly important in "my world." Does that make sense? People of course say that what you wear doesn't matter and that other's really shouldn't judge you by what you wear. That is what is said, but not done. But you KNOW when you are getting the once over. It happens to me ALL the time. And I will be the 1st one to admit that I have been guilty of it as well.

1 of the most hurtful instances was when my husband (then boyfriend) was judged b/c he wore blue jeans to church on sunday nights......and he went to THAT church.....don't you know what they do there??? They hold their microphones!! (really?? even as a teenager I knew that was absurd)

Yes. I have lived under the bible verse......... Deuteronomy 22:5 The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the LORD thy God. I have lived under we wear skirts and dresses.....b/c.....b/c.....we just do. Now that I can make my own decisions, I am free to live in my pant bliss. I think it great even to see so many people who I thought were to adamant on not wearing pants realizing that it isn't as big of deal as some make it out to be. And then you see them out and about in pants.

I firmly believe that the bible is the same yesterday today and forever. The truths in the bible are timeless. This I believe.

Something that changes so often is fashion. I don't see to many Baptist/religious men walking around in robes these days. So something had to have changed between bible times and the time we are living in now.

So I think the truths in the Bible have to be applicable just as much today as they were back then.

If the Bible says that you shouldn't wear something that pertains to a man and vice versa then by George we should obey it.

But my question is........who said that pants belong to a man?

I realize that looking back at history men wore pants and woman wore dresses. But when did men stop wearing robes? I mean in Bible times, that's what they wore. They wore an inner tunic and then when they went out they would put on an outer tunic or robe.

Men's robes and women's robes looked alike.

Except.........

wait for it......

the only difference between a man's robe and a woman's robe was men wore a stripe all the way around the bottom of the robe. And woman wore a square looking piece of fabric at the very corners of the robe. A man's robe would also have fringe at each corner with blue thread in each fringe. The fringe would remind him of the law of God.

I also realize that we are living in a day of grace and are free from the law. I haven't seen anywhere in the new testament that says something about what to wear.

In the stores that I shop at, there are very clear distinctions between a man's section of clothing and a woman's. Hunny's pants are cut very different from mine. He has never and will never take a pair of pants out of my closet and decide to put them on.

I think that the most important thing when deciding what clothes to wear is find something that is modest. You can find some awfully immodest skirts and dresses. Just like you can have pants that are very immodest.

So instead of teaching my child that she can only wear a skirt or a dress, I am going to really try and instill in her that she needs to be modest. That's it. Just modest.

Culottes are.....a joke and I won't even get into those.

Another chapter in the book that was fascinating to me was the chapter on the Sabbath. I have really been thinking a lot about the Sabbath of late. It has been something that I have really put some time in studying. And I thought it was humorous to run across this in my child's reading book from his school. (if you know anything about that, then you would know the irony)

The book said that the Sabbath was on a Saturday. That is the day that they worshiped in church. I have always known that Jewish people go to church on Saturday. And I of course know that Jesus was a Jew. So I can only conclude that Jesus went to church on Saturday. So when did church get switched to Sunday? (this is a serious question by the way. When did people start going to church on Sunday?)

I have always gone to church on Sunday. That is the day that is set aside for church. It was that way as I grew up and it is that way now that I am an adult. That is what I am used to and that is what I like. I will probably never change my opinion on that.

I have rarely given thought to going to church on Saturday night b/c I have always thought that it wasn't the right thing to do. "good Christians" do NOT go to church on saturday night. Church is on Sunday. Everybody knows that.

But then I read Romans. I have fallen in love with Romans. Truly in love it. As I was reading in Romans, these verses almost screamed off the page at me.

Romans 14:5-13
One man esteemeth one day above another: another esteemeth every day alike. Let every man be fully persuaded in his own mind.

He that regardeth the day, regardeth it unto the Lord; and he that regardeth not the day, to the Lord he doth not regard it. He that eateth, eateth to the Lord, for he giveth God thanks; and he that eateth not, to the Lord he eateth not, and giveth God thanks.

For none of us liveth to himself, and no man dieth to himself.

For whether we live, we live unto the Lord; and whether we die, we die unto the Lord: whether we live therefore, or die, we are the Lord's.

For to this end Christ both died, and rose, and revived, that he might be Lord both of the dead and living.

But why dost thou judge thy brother? or why dost thou set at nought thy brother? for we shall all stand before the judgment seat of Christ.

For it is written, As I live, saith the Lord, every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall confess to God.

So then every one of us shall give account of himself to God.

Let us not therefore judge one another any more: but judge this rather, that no man put a stumblingblock or an occasion to fall in his brother's way.

Now I am not saying that I am educated in the full knowledge of the Bible at all. But to me these verses are saying this.......1 man says that 1 day is better then the other day. The other man says that they are all alike. Each man needs to know fully in his mind what he thinks. Each man regards it to the Lord. (I'm sorry, but I had to look up regard. It means to show respect for. That makes sense to me then.....each man will show respect for a certain day for the Lord.)

I love even more how it doesn't stop there. It goes on to say that we shouldn't judge the other men. This subject of the sabbath is such a stinking point to many people. It can be some heated conversations between people when they discuss it.

For it is written, As I live, saith the Lord, every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall confess to God. So then every one of us shall give account of himself to God. Let us not therefore judge one another any more: but judge this rather, that no man put a stumblingblock or an occasion to fall in his brother's way.

We are all going to give an account of ourselves before the Lord 1 day for how we lived our life. Every single 1 of us. So from now on.....I have decided this......that if you decide to worship on another day.....good for you. I am glad that you are setting aside time to worship the 1 true God. For me, I choose to worship on Sunday. B/c that's what I like. I will not judge you for when you go to church.

but judge this rather, that no man put a stumblingblock or an occasion to fall in his brother's way.

Hmmm.....but judge rather this.....do not put a stumblingblock or an occasion to fall in his brother's way.

I think that when we get so adamant about church can only be on Sunday. That's just the way it is and thats just the way it will always be.... well....I don't know, but......maybe that could be a stumblingblock.

Romans 15:5-7
May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus,

so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.

vs 13~ May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Amazing verses.

Things I know about God....

Let me start this out by stating......I am not mad. I am not angry. I am.....frustrated.....I think. You see, I HATE politics. I hate talking about politics, I hate hearing about politics. In my opinion doing such only causes strife, contention and division. I have recently seen this 1st hand. People got upset over 1 silly little comment. Things got out of hand and feelings were really hurt.

People talk about what they THINK is going to happen. If recent events in my life have taught me ANYTHING it is that you NEVER know what it going to happen. You can assume things all you want. But that doesn't mean that any of it will happen. All you do is get yourself and others all worked up over NOTHING. I hate thinking about......... the if's in life, all the....what could happen.....if only people would do the right thing. I can't change a single thing of what will happen. I firmly believe that God has everything wrapped up in his big ol hands. He will put in place who he wants to put in place. He knows the outcome of it all. I also believe that neither side of the politics are correct. I think that both sides will lie about anything to get what it is they want accomplished. I think it is all driven my money.

This world is so crazy. I hear of things happening and do wonder what is going on. But you know, if you study history at all. There have been awful things happening since the world began. Evil persists in this world b/c Satan is free. Satan = evil. Yes, there are EVIL things that happen in this world. PURE EVIL. But there are also GOOD things. Lots of good things.

Talk of war and such scares me to death. It really does. I think my goodness, we can barely make ends meet now, what's going to happen if food and gas prices rise? What will happen if we can't afford Dada's medicine.

I cannot live in that place of anxiety and fear. I firmly believe that fear is not of the Lord. I desire to be in a place of fully resting on the Lord. I know that fear is from Satan b/c God's truths are that 1. He shall never leave me or forsake me and 2. My God shall supply all my needs. That is something real that I can cling to in times of fear and anxiety.

I do not go to church to hear anyone's opinion on politics. Politics do not belong in a sermon. I go to church to hear from the word of God and not the Pastors opinion on what he feels should happen. I do not go to family gatherings to hear about politics and to cause anger and division about STUPID unions and what people feel about them. But while we are on the subject of unions. Unions are run by greedy selfish people. They are NOT for the working people. Unions need to get back to the place of being for the worker and not to line the pockets of the people in charge of the unions. The people who run the unions I think have forgotten about the workers of America. They have forgotten what it is like to struggle week to week. To not have a paycheck coming in. To not have insurance for their children. This is the place where many UNION workers still are today. I personally think the union workers should ban together and fire all the head union people. Unions need to keep their nose out of politics and let the politicians do their job. But hey, that is just my opinion. ;)

I don't care if you think I have everything all wrong. Honestly....could care less. Honestly, no one has it right. No one really knows what is going on. You can watch the news all you want but not really know the truth of any situation. There are 3 sides to every story I say. You can't trust politicians so therefore I try and ignore them.

Psalm 46

1. God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth be removed and thought the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea.
Though the waters thereof roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof.
There is a river, the streams whereof shall make glad the city of God, the holy place of the tabernacles of the most High.
God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved; God shall help her and that right early.
The heathen raged, the kingdoms were moved: he uttered his voice, the earth melted.
The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge.
Come, behold the works of the Lord, what desolation's he hath made in the earth.
He maketh wars to cease unto the end of the earth; he breaketh the bow, and cutteth the spear in sunder; he burneth the chariot in the fire.
Be still and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge.

Psalm 47:8~ God reigneth over the heathen God sitteth upon the throne of his holiness.

These verses have been such a salve for my soul of late. These verses wring the truth that my hungry soul thirsted for. Today, tomorrow and forever, God is the same and I will choose to serve Him. Though the earth be removed and the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea, though the waters thereof roar and be troubled....God is in the midst of her, she shall not be moved. God shall keep her and that right early.

Today, I choose to be still. I know that God is God and that he has everything in his control. God will be exalted among the heathen, he will be exalted among the earth. This is a promise that I can cling to.

So dear friend. Don't get so caught up in politics that you cause people to worry. That you cause division and strife in your family. Their is no need to scream or opinions from the roof top. Just be still and know that God is God.

Things I KNOW about God....

Psalm 89:9~ Thou rulest the raging of the sea: when the waves thereof arise, thou stillest them.

What joy I have in knowing that the Lord stills the raging storm in our hearts and minds.

Psalm 91

1 He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.

Dwelleth~to sit in quiet and remain there....

Lord, help me to always dwell in your presence. May nothing ever happen that would cause me to turn away from you. Be always my refuge, especially when my waters arise and are raging. Hold me continually under the shadow of your wings.

2 I will say of the LORD, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust .

Fortress~a place of exceptional security...

Be my fortress Lord. My strong tower, the One I lean on and run to.

3 Surely he shall deliver thee from the snare of the fowler, and from the noisome pestilence.
4 He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler.

One thing I love in life is to be curled up under a warm blanket. Especially on a cold night. I get such a sense of warmth and peace. Imagine how much greater warmth and peace there is being cover under his feathers. Being protected by his wings.

5 Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by night; nor for the arrow that flieth by day;
6 Nor for the pestilence that walketh in darkness; nor for the destruction that wasteth at noonday.
7 A thousand shall fall at thy side, and ten thousand at thy right hand; but it shall not come nigh thee.
8 Only with thine eyes shalt thou behold and see the reward of the wicked.
9 Because thou hast made the LORD, which is my refuge, even the most High, thy habitation;
10 There shall no evil befall thee, neither shall any plague come nigh thy dwelling.
11 For he shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways.
12 They shall bear thee up in their hands, lest thou dash thy foot against a stone.

Wow!! He shall give his angels charge over me. They will bear me in their hands, lest I dash my foot against a stone.

13 Thou shalt tread upon the lion and adder: the young lion and the dragon shalt thou trample under feet.
14 Because he hath set his love upon me, therefore will I deliver him: I will set him on high , because he hath known my name.
15 He shall call upon me, and I will answer him: I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him, and honour him.
16 With long life will I satisfy him, and shew him my salvation.

I think this chapter might just be one of my favorite in the whole Bible.

Last week was a very emotional week for me, for reasons I won't discuss. There is no denying that bad things will happen in life. There is no denying that sad things will happen. That things we just don't understand will happen. There will be times that we are just. so. disappointed.

1 thing I KNOW.....

That through my disappointment,

Through my hurt.

Through my heartache.

God is still faithful.

God has been wrapping his faithfulness around me lately.

He has put a song in my heart.

He has really impressed upon me 2 songs

Verse 3 of Great is thy faithfulness.....

Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth
Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide
Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow
Blessing all mine with ten thousand besides

Great is thy faithfulness
great is thy faithfulness
morning by morning new mercies I see
All I have needed thy hand hath provided
Great is thy faithfulness Lord unto me.

And verse 2 of a song called God's been Good

Times replay and I can see I've cried some bitter tears
But I felt his arms around me as I faced my greatest fears.
You see I've had my gains and losses
and I've known more joy then hurt
as his grace rolled down around me undeserved.

God has been my father, my saviour and my friend.
His love was my beginning and his love will be my end.
I could spend forever trying to tell you everything He is,
But the best way I can say it is this...

God's been good in my life. I feel blessed beyond my wildest dream
when I go to sleep each night
and though I've had my share of hard times
I wouldn't change them if I could
cause through it all, God's been good.

What a friend we have in Jesus. He will all our burdens bear. Have you trials or temptations, take it to the Lord in prayer.

Psalm 94:17-19

~ unless the Lord had been my help, my soul had almost dwelt in silence. When I said, my foot slippeth; thy mercy O Lord held me up. In the multitude of my thoughts within me thy comforts delight my soul.

What a beautiful verse.

Have your thoughts ever consumed you? Have you ever just. wanted. to. stop. thinking?!?!

Man have I been there. I have been so thankful for His comforts. His little graces that He gives me on a daily basis.

Lord, thank you for wiping away tears, thank you for your daily strength, for your love and your mercy.

Can you say that your cup runneth over today? Sometimes our cup gets just so heavy to carry. But rest in the knowledge that your cup is secure. Rest in the fact that He. Is. GOD. That is grace is sufficient. That His ways are not your ways. But His ways are best. Rest in the fact that in the multitude of your thoughts, his comforts will delight your soul. They did mine.