Made to Crave

I will admit it...... I have not been good today. I think for dinner I will just need to stick with a glass of ice water with lemon. Well...maybe not the lemon. :( That might be to many calories. I am trying. Truly I am. I worked out this afternoon. Like crazy mad worked out. 50 min on the elliptical. I was shooting for 60 min. Trying to burn off some of these insane calories I have eaten. Like I said....I was shooting for 60 min....... until my elliptical broke. The plastic piece in the middle cracked right down the middle. I could cry. Really I could. Maybe I will go ride my bike. Or. Maybe this is a sign that I should give up. I wonder if my bike will break also?

A walk with Brother

What a chilly spring break week we have had. Even though the weather has been very chilly, we have still been able to get out enjoy some of the sunshine.

While Dada was at Grandma's house. Hunny and I took Brother on a walk at the park.

I have honestly been looking forward to walking the trails again. We didn't dare take the dogs. I have learned my lesson in taking them out there even if I think it will be slightly muddy!! I already had Brother to try and wrangle out of the mud. :)

Forget about the mud! He made a bee line to annoy the poor geese.




I love this picture of Daddy and Son. Brother sure looks up to his Dad.



And why wouldn't he look up to him? Especially when Daddy wants to throw him into the creek!





But then, why would Daddy need to throw him in when he can jump in himself?? At least Daddy is there to help him up!



I enjoyed spending time with just Brother. He is most def all boy. He LOOKS for mud puddles and water to traipse through. He doesn't care that it's barely 32 degrees out. He likes it just because its fun. I on the other hand DON'T like it. I have his muddy shoes and his filthy jeans in the washer as we speak. Boys.




I truly can't wait for the temperature to get warmer. We have had a little taste of warmer weather in the past weeks. Summer can't come soon enough!

Wordless Wednesday......on Friday.

LoVe this picture.

Just some random pictures found on my camera. :)

Brother was in NOOOOO mood to be photographed.

but.....

that doesn't stop me!


I love this picture of Dada.

She is "organizing" my cupboards.....to bad that cupboard isn't one that needs organizing.....eeehhh Tancy!?



Daddy bribed her with $5 to clean the kitchen after dinner last night.....I was thinking...I would have cleaned the kitchen for $5!!

But she did a good job. I think she changed her clothes 3 times while doing the dishes! She ended up in just shorts and a t shirt. Silly girl.



Cupcake lost 1/2 her weight this past weekend in a hair cut. Now she resembles a drowned rat!

But she smells much better and she is happier cuz she can actually cuddle with me now.



And not to be left out. Our miniature horse Bella ;)

The other day Dada and her cousin Elisa went to the park. She begged me to take my camera along. I thought twice but decided to let her. I thought it would be fun to see what she photographed. What surprised me most was not that she took alot of pictures. But that she took video of their time. :) If I could figure out how to put it on here, I would. ;) So here are some pictures of the trip to the park.



They took their American Girl dolls and a blanket to play on. I was kinda surprised to not see any pictures of the dolls.



I was lucky to be able to carve out time with Tancy and Beth this week. We met at our local jungle gym and let the kids go nuts.

Tancy brought Domino's so we mom's were quite content.

I was so impressed that she didn't bring bananagrams. She does love me!! ;)



I was able to grab all the kids except 2 of them for a quick shot before they all took off again.





What a fun fun day we had.


Look what I found! This was in 2007!!




Just some random shots from our day today. Look who I found in the treat basket?!



Today it is snowing out. Monday we didn't need coats. Today it is cold and snowing. Welcome to spring!!

A date with Dada....

The other day, Dada and I found ourselves alone. I don't think it could have come at a better time either. I decided that it would be fun for just us girls to go out for dinner. I asked Dada where she would want to go. And she immediately chose chinese. We don't go out for chinese all that often. You see, it isn't 1 of Daddy's favorites. So I thought when better to go then when Daddy isn't there. :)



I wondered what Dada would want at a chinese restaurant. She had gone to a china buffet kinda deal with my friend Tancy 1 night and has talked incessantly about it. She got the duck and it was SOOOOO good and they even had jello there!

Instead of the duck.....what did she choose you ask?!??!

Why french fries and chicken strips of course!!


What else do you get at a chinese restaurant?? :)

I on the other hand had some of the best egg drop soup and then a ginormous plate of veg fried rice. I was only able to eat about 1/4 of it.


Who ate the leftover's you ask? Why Daddy of course! The same one who doesn't really like chinese! ;)

It was good to just BE with Dada. We took a long bike ride when we got home to help work off our calories. It's funny how much she opens up and share's her mind on a bike ride.

Made to Crave

Lord, I have felt so much like giving up lately. I don't really know why. Nothing has really happened of late. It's just a small voice asking me if all of this is really worth it. I know that it is worth it. I think I just feel like quite the failure sometimes. Not in 1 giant way. But in 1,000 little ones. This made to crave journey is so much harder then I would have ever imagined. I wonder if I can really even call it a made to crave journey any more! ;) I have allowed some sweets into my life. The crazy thing to me is that now is when I have started losing weight again. I am smart about what I eat. If I do eat something "bad" then I don't pig out on it anymore. And I make sure that I get my exercise in for that day. But, still that food that is not beneficial to me is what I choose to eat. If you have eaten the peanut butter M&M's then you know what I am talking about!! ;)

I have said from the beginning that this isn't about losing weight. That it's about craving God above all else. I desire to crave God above my craving for those wonderfully perfect M&M's. But I wonder if I have sort of deceived myself. You see. I do want to lose weight. I was stuck at 10 pounds for 4 weeks. 4 weeks and not a single pound lost. To say that I was frustrated is the understatement of the year!! I was eating right and exercising but NOT LOSING ANYTHING!! So finally under the advice of my wise friend....I pigged out 1 night. I didn't gorge myself. And by the end of the week I was down 2 pounds!! FINALLY!!

I say all that to say.....that, yes, I desire to know God. I want him to feed me with some real truth from his word. But I DO want to lose weight also. And somehow....somehow the 2 corelate.

I think I would do ok if it weren't for school. We start making lunch and the smell of the cookies or the brownies sends all my resolve out the window. That craving smacks me across the face and almost demands me to eat it.

I do have to wonder if that is how an addict feels about his drugs. It's almost something that you just have no control over. No power to stop. I feel almost powerless when it comes to these cravings.

But then God.......

Then God reminds me of the truth of his word.

I know a couple things about God.....

1. God always makes a way of escape.

2.This craving is not bigger then God.

3. God will not give me something that is bigger then I can handle.

1 Corin 10:13~There hath no temptation taken you but such as in common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.

This verse is proof of all things truths to me.

Another thing I know is that God is the one who has kept me even TRYING to do this. If it were just me myself and I, I would probably be shoving fist fulls of M&M's into my mouth right about now. :0

So the truth of this journey is this.....

-yes, it is hard

-yes, I have cheated

-but I am still continuing toward this long term goal that I have.

-I haven't given up

-I still desire for God to be real in my life

-I still desire God to use my life for his glory and honor

-and God HAS made his power real in my life by just the meer fact that we are going on not quite 2 months of this and he alone has sustained me. Even when I have felt like giving up and felt like nothing was happening and it just plain wasn't worth it to me.

- I have lost 13 pounds!!

Psalm 73:2~But as for me, my feet were almost gone; my steps has well nigh slipped,

~ 73:26 My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

I have been reminded of a friend who is fighting some very real and very angry demons right now. I am sure that she is fighting some very real cravings in her life. Today, even more then I want the victory in my life over this "little, seemingly insignificant" demon of sugar. I beg you to give her the victory in her life. She is in a battle for her life. Pour your grace on her life Lord. Keep her safe. Show her your power today. Draw her to you in a very real and remarkable way. MAKE her to crave you more then anything else.

Growing up with Jesus

In Brother's class, they are reading a book called Growing up where Jesus Lived. This book has been fascinating to me. I do realize that this is a 2nd grade book, but they really do a good job (to my uneducated mind) explaining what things might have been like if we grew up in Jesus' time.

In 1 of the chapters it talks about the clothes that they wore back then. I have always known that men and woman wore robes. But they go into greater detail in the book about the clothes that were worn.

What people wear is something that is so unimportantly important in "my world." Does that make sense? People of course say that what you wear doesn't matter and that other's really shouldn't judge you by what you wear. That is what is said, but not done. But you KNOW when you are getting the once over. It happens to me ALL the time. And I will be the 1st one to admit that I have been guilty of it as well.

1 of the most hurtful instances was when my husband (then boyfriend) was judged b/c he wore blue jeans to church on sunday nights......and he went to THAT church.....don't you know what they do there??? They hold their microphones!! (really?? even as a teenager I knew that was absurd)

Yes. I have lived under the bible verse......... Deuteronomy 22:5 The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the LORD thy God. I have lived under we wear skirts and dresses.....b/c.....b/c.....we just do. Now that I can make my own decisions, I am free to live in my pant bliss. I think it great even to see so many people who I thought were to adamant on not wearing pants realizing that it isn't as big of deal as some make it out to be. And then you see them out and about in pants.

I firmly believe that the bible is the same yesterday today and forever. The truths in the bible are timeless. This I believe.

Something that changes so often is fashion. I don't see to many Baptist/religious men walking around in robes these days. So something had to have changed between bible times and the time we are living in now.

So I think the truths in the Bible have to be applicable just as much today as they were back then.

If the Bible says that you shouldn't wear something that pertains to a man and vice versa then by George we should obey it.

But my question is........who said that pants belong to a man?

I realize that looking back at history men wore pants and woman wore dresses. But when did men stop wearing robes? I mean in Bible times, that's what they wore. They wore an inner tunic and then when they went out they would put on an outer tunic or robe.

Men's robes and women's robes looked alike.

Except.........

wait for it......

the only difference between a man's robe and a woman's robe was men wore a stripe all the way around the bottom of the robe. And woman wore a square looking piece of fabric at the very corners of the robe. A man's robe would also have fringe at each corner with blue thread in each fringe. The fringe would remind him of the law of God.

I also realize that we are living in a day of grace and are free from the law. I haven't seen anywhere in the new testament that says something about what to wear.

In the stores that I shop at, there are very clear distinctions between a man's section of clothing and a woman's. Hunny's pants are cut very different from mine. He has never and will never take a pair of pants out of my closet and decide to put them on.

I think that the most important thing when deciding what clothes to wear is find something that is modest. You can find some awfully immodest skirts and dresses. Just like you can have pants that are very immodest.

So instead of teaching my child that she can only wear a skirt or a dress, I am going to really try and instill in her that she needs to be modest. That's it. Just modest.

Culottes are.....a joke and I won't even get into those.

Another chapter in the book that was fascinating to me was the chapter on the Sabbath. I have really been thinking a lot about the Sabbath of late. It has been something that I have really put some time in studying. And I thought it was humorous to run across this in my child's reading book from his school. (if you know anything about that, then you would know the irony)

The book said that the Sabbath was on a Saturday. That is the day that they worshiped in church. I have always known that Jewish people go to church on Saturday. And I of course know that Jesus was a Jew. So I can only conclude that Jesus went to church on Saturday. So when did church get switched to Sunday? (this is a serious question by the way. When did people start going to church on Sunday?)

I have always gone to church on Sunday. That is the day that is set aside for church. It was that way as I grew up and it is that way now that I am an adult. That is what I am used to and that is what I like. I will probably never change my opinion on that.

I have rarely given thought to going to church on Saturday night b/c I have always thought that it wasn't the right thing to do. "good Christians" do NOT go to church on saturday night. Church is on Sunday. Everybody knows that.

But then I read Romans. I have fallen in love with Romans. Truly in love it. As I was reading in Romans, these verses almost screamed off the page at me.

Romans 14:5-13
One man esteemeth one day above another: another esteemeth every day alike. Let every man be fully persuaded in his own mind.

He that regardeth the day, regardeth it unto the Lord; and he that regardeth not the day, to the Lord he doth not regard it. He that eateth, eateth to the Lord, for he giveth God thanks; and he that eateth not, to the Lord he eateth not, and giveth God thanks.

For none of us liveth to himself, and no man dieth to himself.

For whether we live, we live unto the Lord; and whether we die, we die unto the Lord: whether we live therefore, or die, we are the Lord's.

For to this end Christ both died, and rose, and revived, that he might be Lord both of the dead and living.

But why dost thou judge thy brother? or why dost thou set at nought thy brother? for we shall all stand before the judgment seat of Christ.

For it is written, As I live, saith the Lord, every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall confess to God.

So then every one of us shall give account of himself to God.

Let us not therefore judge one another any more: but judge this rather, that no man put a stumblingblock or an occasion to fall in his brother's way.

Now I am not saying that I am educated in the full knowledge of the Bible at all. But to me these verses are saying this.......1 man says that 1 day is better then the other day. The other man says that they are all alike. Each man needs to know fully in his mind what he thinks. Each man regards it to the Lord. (I'm sorry, but I had to look up regard. It means to show respect for. That makes sense to me then.....each man will show respect for a certain day for the Lord.)

I love even more how it doesn't stop there. It goes on to say that we shouldn't judge the other men. This subject of the sabbath is such a stinking point to many people. It can be some heated conversations between people when they discuss it.

For it is written, As I live, saith the Lord, every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall confess to God. So then every one of us shall give account of himself to God. Let us not therefore judge one another any more: but judge this rather, that no man put a stumblingblock or an occasion to fall in his brother's way.

We are all going to give an account of ourselves before the Lord 1 day for how we lived our life. Every single 1 of us. So from now on.....I have decided this......that if you decide to worship on another day.....good for you. I am glad that you are setting aside time to worship the 1 true God. For me, I choose to worship on Sunday. B/c that's what I like. I will not judge you for when you go to church.

but judge this rather, that no man put a stumblingblock or an occasion to fall in his brother's way.

Hmmm.....but judge rather this.....do not put a stumblingblock or an occasion to fall in his brother's way.

I think that when we get so adamant about church can only be on Sunday. That's just the way it is and thats just the way it will always be.... well....I don't know, but......maybe that could be a stumblingblock.

Romans 15:5-7
May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus,

so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.

vs 13~ May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Amazing verses.

Things I know about God....

Let me start this out by stating......I am not mad. I am not angry. I am.....frustrated.....I think. You see, I HATE politics. I hate talking about politics, I hate hearing about politics. In my opinion doing such only causes strife, contention and division. I have recently seen this 1st hand. People got upset over 1 silly little comment. Things got out of hand and feelings were really hurt.

People talk about what they THINK is going to happen. If recent events in my life have taught me ANYTHING it is that you NEVER know what it going to happen. You can assume things all you want. But that doesn't mean that any of it will happen. All you do is get yourself and others all worked up over NOTHING. I hate thinking about......... the if's in life, all the....what could happen.....if only people would do the right thing. I can't change a single thing of what will happen. I firmly believe that God has everything wrapped up in his big ol hands. He will put in place who he wants to put in place. He knows the outcome of it all. I also believe that neither side of the politics are correct. I think that both sides will lie about anything to get what it is they want accomplished. I think it is all driven my money.

This world is so crazy. I hear of things happening and do wonder what is going on. But you know, if you study history at all. There have been awful things happening since the world began. Evil persists in this world b/c Satan is free. Satan = evil. Yes, there are EVIL things that happen in this world. PURE EVIL. But there are also GOOD things. Lots of good things.

Talk of war and such scares me to death. It really does. I think my goodness, we can barely make ends meet now, what's going to happen if food and gas prices rise? What will happen if we can't afford Dada's medicine.

I cannot live in that place of anxiety and fear. I firmly believe that fear is not of the Lord. I desire to be in a place of fully resting on the Lord. I know that fear is from Satan b/c God's truths are that 1. He shall never leave me or forsake me and 2. My God shall supply all my needs. That is something real that I can cling to in times of fear and anxiety.

I do not go to church to hear anyone's opinion on politics. Politics do not belong in a sermon. I go to church to hear from the word of God and not the Pastors opinion on what he feels should happen. I do not go to family gatherings to hear about politics and to cause anger and division about STUPID unions and what people feel about them. But while we are on the subject of unions. Unions are run by greedy selfish people. They are NOT for the working people. Unions need to get back to the place of being for the worker and not to line the pockets of the people in charge of the unions. The people who run the unions I think have forgotten about the workers of America. They have forgotten what it is like to struggle week to week. To not have a paycheck coming in. To not have insurance for their children. This is the place where many UNION workers still are today. I personally think the union workers should ban together and fire all the head union people. Unions need to keep their nose out of politics and let the politicians do their job. But hey, that is just my opinion. ;)

I don't care if you think I have everything all wrong. Honestly....could care less. Honestly, no one has it right. No one really knows what is going on. You can watch the news all you want but not really know the truth of any situation. There are 3 sides to every story I say. You can't trust politicians so therefore I try and ignore them.

Psalm 46

1. God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth be removed and thought the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea.
Though the waters thereof roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof.
There is a river, the streams whereof shall make glad the city of God, the holy place of the tabernacles of the most High.
God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved; God shall help her and that right early.
The heathen raged, the kingdoms were moved: he uttered his voice, the earth melted.
The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge.
Come, behold the works of the Lord, what desolation's he hath made in the earth.
He maketh wars to cease unto the end of the earth; he breaketh the bow, and cutteth the spear in sunder; he burneth the chariot in the fire.
Be still and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge.

Psalm 47:8~ God reigneth over the heathen God sitteth upon the throne of his holiness.

These verses have been such a salve for my soul of late. These verses wring the truth that my hungry soul thirsted for. Today, tomorrow and forever, God is the same and I will choose to serve Him. Though the earth be removed and the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea, though the waters thereof roar and be troubled....God is in the midst of her, she shall not be moved. God shall keep her and that right early.

Today, I choose to be still. I know that God is God and that he has everything in his control. God will be exalted among the heathen, he will be exalted among the earth. This is a promise that I can cling to.

So dear friend. Don't get so caught up in politics that you cause people to worry. That you cause division and strife in your family. Their is no need to scream or opinions from the roof top. Just be still and know that God is God.

We have had such a lovely day today. We took a long walk this afternoon with the kids and dogs. It was nice to just be together as a family. We did a little yard work. It is sooo muddy out there still.....

BUT....

Spring is in the air!!!!

And I could not be happier about it.

Look what we found in the yard.....



First a howling blizzard woke us,
Then the rain came down to soak us,
And now before the eye can focus
-Crocus. ~Lilja Rogers



Yesterday the twig was brown and bare;
To-day the glint of green is there;Tomorrow will be leaflets spare;
I know no thing so wondrous fair, No miracle so strangely rare.
I wonder what will next be there! ~L.H. Bailey


( I don't know the name of this flower. But what fun we had finding is already coming up. Does anyone know what it is? I think it has pink blooms.)

Where man sees but withered leaves,
God sees sweet flowers growing.~Albert Laighton

The kitchen...to date.....

Well, the kitchen is done for now. :(

I can blame no one but myself. I fully admit picking out the colors.

The yellow....I love. Just what I wanted. The color opens up the kitchen so much. And I LOVE that.

I do want to get some new curtains. But I am going to wait to find just the right ones.



It's the blue that I don't like. I thought I was going for a more pale blue. I thought that would be really kinda pretty. BUT...this blue is just a little to....um.....blue.

Hopefully in the summer...when I have just a little more time....we ( and my we.....I mean my dear friends and I b.c Hunny has said he is done painting) will repaint the cabinets a shade of red. But for now, this is what it will be.

I CAN'T have another week of chaos. You never know what I might do!! During this week, I have learned something about myself. I cannot and when I say cannot....I mean CANNOT live in chaos. Let's just say....that I have eaten things that I shouldn't AND I cut 7 inches of my hair. To say I can't handle chaos is the understatement of the year. I am a much happier person now that things are back to normal.

A long overdue job.....

What else do kids do in the middle of the paint store while waiting for the paint to be mixed?! They play with paint sticks!




What a chore we have under taken in our home this week. It started last weekend and we are just NOW finishing up. I think we decided to paint just about everything in our kitchen!!

Hunny was in charge of taking down the border. Thankfully it's GONE! We were kinda shocked when we realized that we have lived in our house for almost 9 years. We put the border up right after we moved in.





I'll tell yah, we had 2 hard workers helping us. They wanted to HELP with EVERYTHING!!!! ;)




(Um...is it me or did my little boy suddenly grow up?? Doesn't he look old in this picture?)

They both were a huge help in taping the walls.




Dada couldn't wait to get her hands on a paint brush though. We let her paint behind the fridge ;)



Dada also enjoyed helping figure out where things should go on the wall. We have had this chalkboard hanging on the wall for years now. But she has now decided that it would be a great thing to help her keep track of her homework. (I figure ANYTHING would help right?!)

I love working with my Husband. And no, I'm not being sarcastic ( not that I would ever be sarcastic) I do think we work well together and I enjoy spending the time with him.

What better thing to do at the end of a long day then to play with the camera!?! :)

Beth's sister Deb posted this letter to facebook a while ago and it really got me thinking.

Here is the link to the actual letter

I received this letter from a young lady last week—a Bible college student who grew up in a Christian home and Christian school. I believe it’s the saddest letter I’ve ever read and right on the mark for so detailing the experiences of so many young Christians. I asked her permission to post it. Please read. Her words will greatly challenge you as a parent or pastor:
Dear Pastor Schmidt,
A few years ago, I read your books Hook, Line, and Sinker, Discover Your Destiny, and Life Quest. I found them to be extremely encouraging and instructive. These books showed me that not only do you have a real heart for young people, but you also understand us well. I am writing to ask you to consider writing a book to our parents and youth workers. Let me explain.
I am a junior at a well-known Christian college. I grew up in highly respected “fundamental independent Baptist” churches, and went to excellent Christian schools. My father has been a Christian worker since before I was born. One would think that my testimony would go something like this:
“I was saved when I was about 5 and I had dedicated my life to God and I have been growing a lot and serving Him and now I’m studying to serve Him full time.” But that isn’t my story. Actually, though I did make a profession of faith when I was very young, I didn’t get saved until I was 17. Since I was 12 and now on into college I have struggled with “serious” issues. And I found out when I went to college that I am not the only “good kid” who is or has struggled with or is still struggling with serious stuff. We struggle with issues like eating disorders, depression and suicide, cutting, pornography, gender identity, homosexuality, drugs, drinking, immorality, and the list could go on. We listen to “wild” music, we idolize pop culture’s heroes, we watch dirty sitcoms. We have no discrimination in our entertainment, dress, or any aspect of our lifestyle. Obviously, I’m generalizing our problems—you would not find that every Christian young person from a conservative background struggles with all of these issues, and praise God, some of us do not struggle with any of these issues.
My point is that the problems that are supposed to be bad kid’s problems belong to us too. Unfortunately, our parents and youth workers don’t know that we struggle with these things and they don’t know what to do with us when they find out. Quite frankly, I believe that if you grabbed the average Christian school teacher or youth worker and asked them, “What would you do if you found out that one of the kids you work with was a homosexual?” they wouldn’t know what to say.
My point is not simply that they don’t know what we struggle with or how to deal with it. I think there is a pretty simple reason why “good” kids struggle with such serious stuff. And that there is a solution. At the risk of being blunt, I’m going to be blunt.
Our parents did not spend time teaching us to love God. Our parents put us in Sunday Schools since K4. Our parents took us to church every time the doors opened, and sent us to every youth activity. They made sure we went to good Christian colleges. They had us sing in the choir, help in the nursery, be ushers, go soulwinning. We did teen devotionals, and prayed over every meal. We did everything right. And they made sure that we did.
But they forgot about our hearts. They forgot that the Bible never commanded the church to teach children about God and His ways. That responsibility was laid at the feet of our fathers. Unfortunately, our fathers don’t have time for us. They put us where we are surrounded by the Bible. But they didn’t take time to show us that God was important enough to them to tell us personally about Him. So to us, Christianity has become a religion of externals. Do all the right stuff, and you’re a good Christian. So, some of us walk away from church. Some of us stay in church and fill a pew. Many of us struggle with stuff that our parents have no idea about because they hardly know us.
I think these problems stem from first, our detachment from our parents, and second from our misunderstandings about the essence of Christianity—a relationship, not a list of rules. I worry that many young people like me are not even saved because of their misunderstandings about Christianity.
I know that this has not been a well articulated treatise, but it comes from my heart. If you are able to help us and our families, we would be so grateful. I realize that probably, there is no way to fix the fact that kids my age are detached from our parents or to straighten out the crazy stuff that we struggle with. The alienation is fixed, the scars are permanent. I know our situation is not hopeless. God is at work in my life and my generation, among those of us who have struggled and are struggling. But maybe our younger siblings can have some help that we never had. Maybe you can write a book for our parents that will grab their attention and help them see that this is serious—that their kids need them, desperately.
I guess I’ve run out of things to say. I must say I’m a little hesitant to share my name with you because that attaches me with my parents, who are, by the way, good people. Thanks for everything you have already done to help Christian teens and their families. I’m eager to see what else God will do through you.
Sincerely,(Name Removed to Protect Anonymity)
All I could say when I read this letter was, “WOW! She nailed it!” This is the battle I’ve been fighting for 21 years. I’m planning to write a couple of follow up articles to this letter, but for now, let this insightful young lady’s words sink in, and let God help you evaluate your own parenting and influence.
Are we teaching kids to simply appear and act right? Or are we teaching them to LOVE God and KNOW Him personally?

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Lord, what do I do with this desire to be at home? I am failing in my responsibilities at home. Failing miserably. I feel like I give so so much of myself at work that at the end of the day, I have nothing left to give my family. My precious kids. I know what a gift the ability to have children is. And you gave me 2 wonderful kids. And I am failing in my responsibility of them. I am not a joyful mother to my children. And I hate it. I don't have the strength to work so hard at school all day and then come home and do everything that I need to do at home. When I get home at night, I am emotionally and physically spent. I am alone as well. With Hunny back on nights it adds more responsibility on my plate.

I would so much rather be home. Not have to work and give the best of me to things that won't matter in the end. I would love for my kids to come home to a mother refreshed and ready to see them and not a frazzled mother needing some peace and quiet so she can just get through the rest of the day. It seems like in times gone by life was so much easier. Then times changed, woman were allowed into the work place and now it's normal for woman to work. Woman now look for fulfilment outside of the home and don't put their main attention on the 1 thing in life that does matter, their kids. If a woman doesn't work, she is looked down on, considered lazy. I only ever wanted to be a wife and a mother. I never had high dreams of being a great professional woman. I only wanted to make my home a place where my kids WANT to be. A place where my husband desires to be at night. A happy, warm place. I would say that right now in my life, our home can be chaotic. When my home is chaotic then there is no peace in my soul. I think that I have had such a bad week on my Made to Crave journey b/c my home is in disorder.

These are the thoughts and the stirrings of my soul these days. I do know that right now, I am meant to work. I need to work to help supplement our income. And I know that so many woman are in the same boat. I am thankful for the job that the Lord has given to me. He so amazingly fit my personality into the perfect job for me. God has been good. But I would still love to be able to stay home. Dear woman who is deciding to get a job. If you can stay home. Do it. You will never regret the effort you put into your husband and children.

Mother's are pulled in so many directions. They are expected to work outside the home, they are expected to work in the home also and have a spotless house. And I really do feel like we are judged if our home is not kept well. (But when you work WHO HAS TIME TO KEEP A CLEAN HOUSE???? I really do feel like I am compared to a supermom and of course I fail miserably at it daily. I mean this literally. ) Woman are expected to be able to do everything a man can do and then some, and then wonder why we crack emotionally. (I believe women and men were made differently and men and women and good at different things. God did not design us to go out and try and keep up with men.) Woman are expected to have perfectly behaved children, to be at every church service, church workshop and workday. We are expected to be sunday school teachers and kitchen workers and asked why if you don't do it. Woman are expected to look put together and not frazzled. They are expected to be joyful, meek, mild, quiet and submissive. And on top of all these at the end of the day to have enough energy to completely satisfy our husbands. All these demands can be just to darn much.

Maybe I am the only 1 who feels this way. And if so....then so be it. But I bet there are other woman who is sick and tired of the expectations we put on ourselves, that other's place on us and we are sick of the judging that takes place if we fail in any category.

I think we have our priorities all out of whack. If a mother doesn't work outside of the home, she feels guilty. She isn't bringing any income and is often resented by her husband.

It is our responsibility to train our children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. But how many times do we say.....sorry child, I don't have time for you, I have to go to this meeting at church, or I have to go take care of this for work. We forget that it is our job to teach our children the love of God. We so many times hand them off to sunday school teachers, jr church workers, christian school teachers and we feel its their JOB to teach our kids about Christ. But it isn't. It's my job. It's your job dear parent.

Our parents did not spend time teaching us to love God. Our parents put us in Sunday Schools since K4. Our parents took us to church every time the doors opened, and sent us to every youth activity. They made sure we went to good Christian colleges. They had us sing in the choir, help in the nursery, be ushers, go soulwinning. We did teen devotionals, and prayed over every meal. We did everything right. And they made sure that we did. But they forgot about our hearts. They forgot that the Bible never commanded the church to teach children about God and His ways. That responsibility was laid at the feet of our fathers. Unfortunately, our fathers don’t have time for us. They put us where we are surrounded by the Bible. But they didn’t take time to show us that God was important enough to them to tell us personally about Him. So to us, Christianity has become a religion of externals. Do all the right stuff, and you’re a good Christian. So, some of us walk away from church. Some of us stay in church and fill a pew. Many of us struggle with stuff that our parents have no idea about because they hardly know us. I think these problems stem from first, our detachment from our parents, and second from our misunderstandings about the essence of Christianity—a relationship, not a list of rules. I worry that many young people like me are not even saved because of their misunderstandings about Christianity.

This to me is truth. It just hit me so hard when I read this.

Dear Lord, help me to remember that I am 1st a mother. That I need to place before all other expectations of me my children. They are with me only for a short number of years. There will be time for all these other things. Give me the strength to make it through my long days at school and then come home and be that joyful mother that you desire me to be. Whether I work or stay at home, help me to show my children you. Help me to teach them about your love and grace. Help them to see you through my many mistakes.