A fiery trial

Hello all! I know my blog has been silent lately. I have been struggling lately, and I didn't know exactly how to say how I felt, or whether I wanted to voice my struggles. I have been caught up in my own thoughts and worries.

Today's sermon was just what I needed. It sort of hit me square in the face. It was taken from 1 Peter 4. The verses that I needed was verses 12 & 13.

4:12 Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you:

4:13 But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ's sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy.

We are in a fiery trial. Our trial isn't over yet. We owe lots of money now b/c of this. God may decide to not take this trial away from us. But I know that he will get us through it. I can sit here and say that I have no idea what is going to happen. How are we going to be able to pay off our van? How can we afford to get a new van? We certainly can't do both. There are so many concerns that I have. And these concerns are what is sometimes trying to swallow me up. Sometimes, I feel like there is no way out of this hole we are in. But I have a hope. My hope is in Christ Jesus. He will not give me anything greater then what I can carry.

These verses I can cling to. The Lord has givin me something to rejoice in. I have said this before, and I can with confidence say it again, there is something bigger then me or any of us working in our life. There was a reason for this accident to happen, there is a reason why 8 people survived an accident that should have killed at least 2 of us.

I can hold onto the fact that when HIS glory shall be revealed, I will be glad also with exceeding joy!

Happy Thanksgiving

Well things are slowly getting back to normal around here! Dada had a doctor's appointment with her bone doctor on Monday. She had x-rays taken and the bone is healing nicely. Much to my surprise the doc said that she didn't have to use her crutches. He said if it starts to hurt again then she can use the crutches, but if she feels fine without it, then she doesn't need the crutches! What a relief! She did have trouble walking for the 1st night. She wasn't used to walking without the crutches! She still can't run or jump, but that's fine with me!

Zach is healing. He still needs to take things slowly, and he is quite tired.

Tomorrow we will be going to my sister's house for Thanksgiving. I am really looking forward to spending time with my family. I only wish that Jonathan and Melanie could be with us!

I wish you all a wonderful and blessed Thanksgiving!

Good morning

Hello all. It has been a very busy week! I am very thankful for a 2 day work week this next week! I need it!! I am exhausted! Dada is doing great! She doesn't let much stop her! She even wanted....and did cheerlead at the basketball game on Saturday! She was in competition to be louder then the other teams cheerleaders. She actually did really well. Of course she could only remember 2 cheers, so they got pretty old, pretty fast!

And the best news of all is........

Zach is home!!! Brad and Beth were actually able to sleep in their own beds last night!!

A message from Beth.....

I talked to Beth a little while ago and she said that they are getting settled into the rehab facility. She said that she is unsure about how long they will be there. She is hoping and praying that it will be very short lived. She said that it is a very cold and dark place to be. Zach's room looks like a dungeon she said.

He is supposed to have about 3 different kinds of therapy assessments tomorrow. So after that they will know more about what they need to do, and how long they will be there. She is really hoping that they will say that he just needs some outpatient therapy. She is SO ready to be home, and to get on with things.

She says that Zach is really tired and he is just slow with some things, but he is able to do most things. So she really sees no need for him to stay there. She thinks the hardest thing will be getting back into the swing of his education.

Just pray for peace and wisdom in any decisions that they need to make about Zachs care.

A courageous woman!

So I was able to go see the van today. I have been very anxious about seeing what the van looked like. Thankfully I remembered my camera, so I could take some pictures for everyone!
As we were traveling west she ran smack dab into us. Didn't stop, didn't slow down. I am amazed that Brother wasn't hurt and Zach wasn't killed. Chianta Anicia Jefferson hit us directly where Zach and Brother were sitting.

Then she pushed us into a pole and somehow we sort of turned around and ended up sitting on the corner of the street, facing south. She then hit us a second time after we were at a stop. If you look close you can see the door is literally missing. They have it laying in the van on the seats.


This past spring I went to a Women's conference with my friend Sherrie. (Normally I don't like women's conferences. But that's a subject for a different blog.) But this one was fantastic! I actually learned so much that actually applied to my life. I learned what it takes to be a courageous woman. The text was in Ephesians, and the lady went all over Ephesians explaining different attributes of a courageous women.

One of which was from chapter 4 verse 31. It says....Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice. I have to admit that for a few minutes today staring at the van, I was angry. There may even be more moments when I am angry about it. But the point is that I don't want to be angry or bitter about this trial that has come into our life. I don't want 1 root of bitterness growing anywhere in my heart.
What I was most angry about was mainly that she seems to have walked away scott free from all of this! She will have to pay $1,000. That's all. $1,000..........and we are out....well the Lord knows what we are out. Please pray with me that I will do all that it takes to be a courageous woman. Pray that I can day by day or moment by moment give these feelings to the Lord. That is my prayer.

While I was staring at the van, I was also overcome with gratitude. I cannot say it enough, it is amazing to me how God protected us that night. It is amazing to see the progress that Zach has made in just 10 days! It is truly a miracle! Beth said that 90% of people with Zachs injury don't ever wake up. He isn't only awake, but he is walking and talking. He knows who is family and friends are. He told me that he even remembered going to Chuck E Cheese. That is the power of prayer people!

Will all this being said.....I know that the Lord is in control of all of this. He had a plan in place for us to get through this long before November 7th. And I do trust him to get us through to the other side. I am encouraged to know that he has a way for us to pay off our loan, and a way for us to get another vehicle. Someone once told me that seeing God work is way better then any soap opera on TV, or new movie coming out. That is totally true! I am so excited to see how God is going to meet our needs!

2 Corinthians 7

The Lord has daily showed me something that has been just what I needed to hear. Today is was in 2 Corinthians. I have been so grateful to all of our family and our church family that was held us up in prayer and support through all of this.

2 Cor 7:4 Great [is] my boldness of speech toward you, great [is] my glorying of
you: I am filled with comfort, I am exceeding joyful in all our tribulation.


2 Cor 7:5 For, when we were come into Macedonia, our flesh had no rest, but we were troubled on every side; without [were] fightings, within [were] fears.


2 Cor 7:6 Nevertheless God, that comforteth those that are cast down, comforted us by the coming of Titus;

In verse 5....you can change the word Macedonia to the hospital and the word fightings to anger.

In verse 6 you can change the word Titus to God's people

What an awesome day!

I have had such a great day today. My mom came over for a visit today and was a blessing to us just by being here.

My kids have been dying to see Zach. They have been bugging me if they could go visit him, so today my family had planned to go visit Zach in the hospital after Brother got home from school. So after school, and after lunch, we headed to the hospital.

Dada insisted on walking. She wanted nothing to do with a wheelchair even though I knew it would be a LONG walk to get to his room. But I figured she knew what she could handle. She did fine, it was just slow going. :)

But after we got to Zachs room, we said our hello's and then we all sat down in some chairs. I sat down right by Zachs head, and was sort of rubbing his arm when he would get upset.

I think he could hear me talking, and then all of a sudden he looked at me. I mean he really looked at me and saw me. What joy that was for me. He actually saw me. So I started talking to him. AND HE SAID HI TO ME!!!! Hi!!! Can you believe it?!?!?! He said HI!!! I wanted to scream and shout and jump for joy! He knew who I was AND said hi!

I told him that Brother and Dada was there to visit him also. And he looked around for them. He knew who I was talking about and was looking to find them. And when he saw them......he gave them the biggest smile! What joy flooded my soul!

Brad was on the phone and had to get off to watch what was unfolding before his eyes!!

I told Zach that so many people were praying for him and I told him how many people loved him. I told him that I wanted to take a picture of him for everyone to see! Boy did he want that! Look at his eyes!!! That is Zach! That is Beth's little Zach right there. Not a lifeless boy. But our very own little Zach!

Then I told him that I wanted to get a picture of him with Dada and Brother. The child actually sat up and posed for the camera! Look at his smile! What a blessing and a joy to witness this miracle today.

Him and I have a secret......I told him that when he gets better, he is going to have to come over and actually spend the night with us. And in the morning I will make him pancakes. He gave me a little chuckle. I know that Docs say that he doesn't remember the accident or what happened. But I wonder what he does remember. B/c when I told him that, he acted like he knew what I was talking about.

On a lighter note....

When I was at the hospital last I took this of Zach. I am thinking he loves his dog Hunk!





Jeremy's aunts from California sent Dada this Edible Arrangement! SHE LOVED IT!! It came with a tiara and balloons. She has had the tiara with her every day! The fruit was SO good. They had the pineapple cut into heart and butterfly shapes. Needless to say it was a hit!


Brother is doing well. He doesn't talk about the accident. I do wish I could get into his head and see what he is thinking. He complains that his side hurts. He still has some bruising on his hips.

Last night he decided he wanted to get a snack before bed. He asked for some "chili" crackers. So he got right up on the counter and got them. In the process he tore the bag and got them all over the counter and floor. I totally didn't care. I am just glad that he is here to make messes!

Ephesians 3

I was reading in Ephesians last night, and these verses jumped out at me.

3:17 That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love,

3:18 May be able to comprehend with all saints what [is] the breadth, and length, and depth, and height;

3:19 And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God.

3:20 Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us,


The Lord has been so good to me. These past few days I have fallen into his word even more. And he has continued to wrap his arms around me. It is an amazing feeling to know that you are in the palm of his hand. The Love of God overwhelms me.

Verse 20 is the one that hit me. Exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think.......can we even fathom that? There are 3 things that I am asking. And to know that he is able to do exceeding abundantly more then what I even think.
And to know that I can ask these things of him with all boldness and access with confidence the faith. Isn't that exciting?!?!

3:12 In whom we have boldness and access with confidence by the faith of him.

I am sitting here broken and yours. Make me, brake me, mold me, use me.

On a side note

I just wanted to add something. I only wrote about my experience that night because I needed to release it. I needed some way of getting beyond it. And I thought that by writing it down it would help.
The only way I got through that night, and these days to follow is by the grace and hope of Jesus Christ. I know you hear this all the time. But I honestly don't know what people do in a tragic situation if they don't know my God.
I don't want praise. I did nothing of myself. Give all the glory and praise to God. It was he who got me through it.

Good Morning

Zach was moved last night from the ICU to the Pedes floor. He is still not fully awake, but in the next phase of recovery. This phase is hard. But he isn't going back!

Last night when I was there, he was trying to sit up a little.

Beth was doing well. She was on a high from the news of the day.

Maddie is still staying home from school. We are going to take it slow with her. I am afraid that she will fall at school. She is doing better getting around. She looks like she is more in control of the crutches.

People have been bringing us meals. I am so grateful!

Friday, November 7th 2008

The kids were so excited when we mentioned going to Chuck E Cheese. They all shouted and jumped up and down for joy! It was so fun to hear how excited they were about going. I was actually excited about taking them there. I was in such a hurry to get there to. Usually I have the kids pick up there toys before going anywhere, but we were all so excited to go, that I didn't make them. We just packed them all up and left.



The kids had such a great time playing their games. There wasn't one ounce of fighting or whining or bickering or anything. I thought for sure that when the tokens ran out there would be whining for more. But no, the kids were just having to much fun!




When everyone was done with their tokens, we counted them up and headed toward the prize booth. Poor Austin, when he was playing a game some little kid came along and stole his tickets. He was so sad about it, but he was a trooper and he never cried about it at all!!


After the kids got their prizes, we got ourselves all packed up and headed for the door. Isaac had forgotten to get his prizes so we stood in line for about 10 more min waiting for him to get his prize, and then we headed out the door!

I was driving. I turned onto Fairview and then onto Rural. And that's when it happened. Out of nowhere all of a sudden it felt like we were spinning. I hear Hunny screaming what is going on....what is happening. Those seconds felt like an eternity of spinning and shaking and twisting. The kids were screaming. Screaming and crying.

I couldn't move. I knew we had been hit, but I didn't know anything else. I knew that I couldn't be hurt cuz I had these kids to take care of. I ignored any pain that I had and turned around and got my phone and dialed 911. I started screaming at a lady. The lady who had gotten out of the truck that hit us. The lights were on in the van, and then I see Zach. He is slumped over in his seat. He looks like he is dead. The window is broken so I sort of climb in the back of the van. I notice that he is sitting right above the gas tank and I am afrain the van is going to blow up. Hunny and I try to move him to get him out. But he is so heavy and there are so many pieces of the van on top of him, we can't move him. He is just slumped over, with only the seat belt holding him up. For a split second I think he is dead, but then finally, I see him take a breath. Then the firetrucks are there. I remember them pulling pieces of the van out to try and get to him.

Then I turn my attention to the other kids. Isaac is screaming. I hug him and hold him. He is cold. I get his coat. I see the van. There are pieces laying everywhere. Mikayla only has 1 shoe on, it's raining, I tell her it will be ok. Hunny is carrying Dada, he keeps asking me what happened, where were we going, what were we doing, were we going home? What's going on.

I call my mom. I tell her she needs to meet us at the hospital. There has been an accident, Zach is hurt. I need her to watch the kids. She heads to 1 hopsital.

I call Beth. Lord, how do I make this call. How do I tell my best friend that her child has been in an accident, that he is hurt, and he is unconscious on his way to the hospital. Lord, help me, I can't do this. Give me the words. I tell Beth she needs to come. They are 4 hours away.

The police need to know if he is allergic to anything, how old he is, when is his bday. For the life of me I cant remember anything. I want to go with Zach, be with him so he isn't scared. He needs a mommy right now. But what do I do with the other kids? There is something wrong with Hunny. He keeps asking me the same questions. He isn't right. He is still carrying Dada. She is complaining that her leg hurts. He carries her, asking me the same questions. What happened, what were we doing. Where were we going. The police call him an ambulance. Isaac and Dada go with him.

Isaac. What a man in a boys body. He told the police what they needed to know about his family. He is now in control. He is needed, and he responded with maturity.

I am sitting in the squad car with the Kayla and Brother. They are crying, cold, and scared. I am shaking, hurting. Brother falls asleep. I am thinking dont go to sleep.

I see Joe. A policeman I know. A friendly face in this neverending nightmare. I want to hug him. I know he will take care of us. I start crying. But I can't cry. I am on the phone with Beth. I cant let her know how scared I am. I can't let her know how bad I think it is. I have to be strong for her. She needs me to be strong. She is scared and crying. I can't cry, stop crying. I can't fall apart. She needs me. I answer her questions. They are on their way. 4 hours.

I am shaking. My neck hurts so bad. I can barely move. I need to go to the hopsital.

How do I tell Gail and DeWayne. I can only imagine how they will feel. They have already lost 1 child. How do I tell them that we have been in a terrible accident and Hunny is on his way to the hopsital. He can't remember anything. I call them. No answer. Call back. Where are they? They never go anywhere. It's 8:30. They can't be in bed. I call Jeff. They are at church. I can't tell them at church. I tell Jeff to wait till they get home. How is Hunny? Is he ok? He has to be ok. I am worried about his brain. He had brain surgery before. Will he be ok? I need his parents. They know his history.

I ask for Joe, he is dealing with the other driver.

I finally find out that they are moving Zach to RMH. He isnt well. The police start taping off the intersection. I start to panic. Oh my, Zach. They are taping it off b/c he isn't doing well. How will we get through this? I feel walls closing in around me. Precious little Zach. No. He can't die. He isn't. I won't accept it.

They get me an ambulance. I hurt so much. Brother, and Kayla go with me. The paramedic. He is so nice. He is gentle and kind. I am cold and shaking. How are the kids? Are they ok. How did this happen.

We get to the hospital. RMH. Everyone is here. Hows Hunny? Is he ok. Can I breath yet? I see my mom. I hear DeWayne. He comes and touches my hand. He needs to see Hunny. He goes. My mom holds my hand she won't let go.

People everywhere. People who love us. Can I breath yet? Can I collapse? No. There is something wrong with Dada. She is going in for xrays. Her leg hurts. She is bruised. Who will be with her? Gail. Gail is with her. Good.

Tancy. She is here. She hugs me. Holds my hand. She will help. She will find out how Hunny and Brother are.

Brother where is he? He is with Hunny. How is Hunny? He has a concussion, can't remember what happened. Keeps asking the same questions.

Dada has a broken pelvis. She needs a cat skan to see what else is wrong. There may be something wrong with her bladder. More tests.

I get xrays. I am fine. Bad whiplash. And am really sore where the seatbelt locked up. I need to see Hunny. He looks fine. He is acting goofy. Isn't like him.

I see Austin. He was a broken thumb. He seems ok. Shaken up. But ok. Kayla is with him. She is bruised.

The docs check everyone out. Brother has bruising but nothing else. Zach. How is Zach? He is intubated and on a ventilator. How is Beth? She still isn't here.

What can I do? Where should I be? I need to be with Dada and Hunny.

They are going to be admit Dada for observation. They will discharge Hunny. He is going home with his parents. He can't be alone. I am staying with Dada.

Good News!

Okay, so Zach is in the next phase of his recovery. He actually got up and went to the bathroom just now. He was still sort of asleep but he could follow commands and he did what he was told.

The doctors say that this is the hardest stage to be in, b/c he will be adgitated, and upset.

He will be moved from the intensive care unit over to the regular pedes floor later today!

Beth is now singing a happy happy joy joy song. And Brad is saying to God be the glory!!

I am on my way to the hospital. Beth said he is making huge strides in the last half hour.

Message from Beth

Here is a link Beth gave for for everyone so go to for more direct updates from Brad and Beth.

You can also visit Caring Bridge.org and then type in zacharyjames in the search bar.

an update

Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers. It is so amazing to know how loved both of our families are. Beth and I have been overwhelmed by the love and support of our families and our church families.

There has still been no change in Zach, he had an MRI done today. Last I heard, they were still waiting for the results.

Dada is home. We finally got her crutches. It is really hard for me to watch her using them. She really struggles with them. She has fallen twice already. I am worried that she will fall and hurt herself even more.

I will write more later, I am really emotionally and physically drained. I have so many thoughts to put somewhere, but not the energy to write it down.
Please keep us in your prayers.

Here are some verses that God showed me today when I was reading my Bible. I sort of fell into his arms this afternoon and he wrapped these wonderful verses around me like a blanket. It overwhelms me to know that my God speaks to me. And all I have to do is go to him.

2 Corinthians
4:7 But we have this treasure in clay vessels, that the exceeding greatness of the power may be of God, and not from ourselves.

4:8 We are pressed on every side, yet not crushed; perplexed, yet not to despair;

4:9 pursued, yet not forsaken; struck down, yet not destroyed;

4:15 For all things are for your sakes, that the grace, being multiplied through the many, may cause the thanksgiving to abound to the glory of God.

4:16 Therefore we don't faint, but though our outward man is decaying, yet our inward man is renewed day by day.

4:17 For our light affliction, which is for the moment, works for us more and more exceedingly an eternal weight of glory;

4:18 while we don't look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal.

I told Beth that first night that there is something much bigger then us going on. That God had a reason for us being on that road at that time that night. There were 400 things that could have stopped this tragedy from happening. And these verses sealed those thoughts for me.

In the moment in the twinkling of an eye

As many of you know.....we were hit by a drunk driver Friday night. We had my friends kids with us who we were babysitting for the weekend. Dada has a broken pelvis in 2 places. The doctor's say it will heal by itself though. She will need physical therapy and learn to walk with a walker.


Zach is in the picu. He has a major concussion, with some broken blood vessels. He is not in a coma, but his brain won't let him wake up. They are saying it could be days, weeks, or months before he is waking up. The hard part about this is that he is very agitated. He thrashes around, and moans. It is so very hard to see. It is very straining on Brad and Beth. Please pray for strength for Brad and Beth and wisdom for the Doctors.

A big THANK YOU

I have been blown away these past couple days with how many people truly care my little Dada. In the short time that she was in the ER, she had 11 visitors. People just checking on her to make sure that she was ok. Her Great Uncle came up and was truly upset and visibly shaken with what had happened.

Once home, we had phone calls all through the night checking on her making sure that she was ok. Saturday morning, we had visitors, and many, many phone calls. It was so overwhelming to me to see how many people love her and are praying for her on a daily basis.

I am so grateful to everyone who has prayed for us. Your prayers are coveted. And I know that it is only through Christ Jesus that we can get through days like this. I promised him 4 years ago on the way to the hospital that 1st day that I would trust him through this. And I am still going to keep that promise.

What a SCARY day it turned out to be!

Rough doesn't begin to describe our day yesterday. Sue called from school saying that Dada was slurring her words and they couldn't get her to calm down. ( I was sick at home....I have strep throat) Hunny rushed to school.....and he tried to give her some Mountain Dew and put icing in her mouth, but she wouldn't swallow. She kept spitting everything out. I couldn't stay at home, I couldn't stand to not see what was going on with my kid. So I went to school. By the time I got there, he tongue was starting to swell. And she was going in and out of consciousness. We called 911, and the ambulance came. By the time they got there she was completely unconscious.

This was all do to a low blood sugar, no snack, and high activity at school. (yesterday was their merit activity). By the time the ambulance left the school she was coming to. She wasn't talking but her eyes were open and she was alert.

We went to the hospital and they monitored her for a little while. She was still kinda out of it. She would be trying to talk to me and she would be trying to look at me, but I would be across the room from where she was looking. And she would just talk about the craziest things. She kept going on and on about how Samantha won't be at the American girl store for much longer and how she wants to get it so bad for Christmas. Her sugar then went high, and she got really tired and started throwing up. She threw up twice at the hospital. The nurse finally sent us home, cuz she realized we knew more about how to take care of her then they did, so they sent us home with instructions to follow up with our doctor.

When we got home I gave her a nice hot bath to wash the puke away, and she threw up again. She was so tired......she didn't even want to go trick or treating....she just wanted to go to bed. I told her that she didn't have to go trick or treating. We monitored her sugar throughout the night. She would be low 1 hour and be really high the next. At 1:30 she was 37. She was asking me for some cold milk. So I made her a pb &j and gave her a cold glass of milk. That was 1 of the scariest things I have ever been through!!