Life and Peace

Hello there.

Has anyone else noticed how silent my blog has been? I have noticed, but have ignored it.

It's not that I haven't had anything to say, its well.....I didn't know how to say it or where to even begin. How to even describe what is going on in my head and my heart.

So I was silent.

And I still don't quite know if I will get the words right, or if at the end of this it will be anything even remotely to what I wanted to try and say.....

But here goes.

God.

A 3 letter word that means......so much.

And this God, has been wiping the old away in my life. He has been truly killing the old self, and molding me into something completely different. Something completely new. And with all humbleness, hopefully something more like him.

I feel like that tiny little seed that has been buried in the ground and then slowly, finally after a long winter, there is a little bit of green popping up. And it has turned from a tiny little seed into something new, something fresh.

My verse that I have clung to is this:

2 Corinthians 4: 7-8

But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed.

This summer has been a summer of affliction. It seemed we were hit on all sides,  one thing after another. At one point, I didn't even know if I could lift my head. I have been perplexed, and I have been struck down. But God in his graciousness taught me that He was the lifter of my head. He was my strength.

Psalm 3:3  But you, O Lord, are a shield about me, my glory, and the lifter of my head.

I can't tell you exactly how, but through prayer, and BEGGING God to.........to show himself, to teach me.....to pour his love onto me......somehow.....He did.

I think through all this.....stuff......God has wanted one thing from me.

To die daily to myself.

And it has been death to get me to that point.

I have spent many many phone conversations, texts and emails with my dear dear friends talking this thing out.....

what it means to die to oneself so that God may be gloried in you.

I STRUGGLED.....with this......

Romans 8:5-6

For those who live according to flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the spirit set their minds on the things of the spirit. For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the spirit is life and peace.

To set the mind on the spirit is life and peace.

Don't we all want life and peace????

This summer.....was not life and peace.

I wanted none of it. I would have chosen not ONE thing this summer to have to go through.

This summer was death and war.

But the bible says.....to set the mind on the spirit is life and peace.

I wanted.....no I want.....life and peace.

But more then even that, I want to be led by the Spirit.

God certainly has a sense of humor.

Everywhere I have turned these past months, I have been bombarded with.....dieing to self......so that Christ may be magnified. To say YES.....to whatever God has for me. To be available. To be an ambassador for Christ. (I just started a new bible study at church and it is called.....what happens when woman say yes to God. Yes. I believe God is trying to tell me something.)

I don't know what He wants from me. There isn't a huge sign saying......Julie, this is what you are to do with the rest of your life. But for now....I think he just wants to know if I am willing.

I still don't necessarily have an answer about how living in the spirit is life and peace.

I ran across this quote in a bible study I did this summer.....

I know of no greater simplifier for all of life. Whatever happens is assigned....are some things, then, out of the control of the Almighty?

Every assignment is measured and controlled for my eternal good. As I accept the given portion other options are canceled. Decisions become much easier, directions clearer, and hence my heart becomes inexpressibly quieter....A quiet heart is content with what God gives. ~ Elisabeth Elliot, Keep a Quiet Heart

Love it.

A quiet heart is content with what God gives.

Good or bad.

Death or War.

I will be content.

This is what I know......

That I want to follow hard after God.

That I want to have a relationship with the God of the universe. The God who loves me and knows me by name. That the God of the universe, is the lifter of my head and the one who sings over his children.

I know that I want to have a heart that says Yes to Him. That I will see those around me and be burdened that they may lost and spending an eternity in hell.

I want God to use me. To make a difference in someones life.

I want to be ok with whatever God has for me. Even if it seems like it is killing me. Even if while I am going through it I am afflicted and perplexed and persecuted and struck down. For I KNOW I will not be crushed or driven to despair or forsaken or destroyed.

Galatians 5:22-23

But the fruit of the spirit of love, joy, peace, patience kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such there is no law.

And that my friends.....is life and peace.