WoW

WoW.

My head is still kinda trying to keep up with all that has happened.

You see, We have felt for quite a while now that God was doing something in our lives. We have waited, we have sought God's face, we have waited, we have walked through possible doors, we have waited, we have sought counsel, we have waited, we have prayed, and we have waited. And in the midst of all that, I have c.r.i.e.d. if you know me, well....yeah, you would know. ;)

We have wondered what God is doing. We have wondered where He was leading us. If He was moving us or if He wanted us to stay.

We have struggled this year to make the kids school payments. We knew that if God wanted to keep the kids at school, then He would provide.

We have never been comfortable with sending the kids to the public school here in town. We still aren't thrilled.

But....well, then God.....

We were absolutely adamant that Maddie would NOT go to the middle school. That school is s.c.a.r.y. and I couldn't fathom pulling my kids from the comfort of the christian school bubble and "throw them to the devil himself." 

But....well, then God....

Through a series of trying to make many different doors open, and trying many different things, and trying to wrack our brains for every possible opportunity, we knew that those possibilities weren't of God and every one of those doors were shut.

But....well, then God....

.......kinda opened a different door. A door that I didn't even know about. A door finally seemed like a possibility.

I was introduced to a performing arts program through the public school. It is audition based, and it is new, and it is scary for this little Ol momma.  In that big, scary, wild, probably even dangerous middle school. This little program is in a protected little bubble in the public school.

But....well, then God.

We were told, that yes, she could audition, and we knew that day, that YES!! They wanted Maddie.

All of a sudden, everything that we have wondered and everything.....well....became really very real.

When God moved, He moved fast.

I was frozen with fear.

I wanted to walk away. I wanted to stay in the comfort of everything that I had known, in everything the kids had known. I wanted to stay in the safety of......the comfortable. I actually really wanted to run.

All last night I struggled. I just knew that we had made the wrong decision. I knew that we had heard wrong.

But....well, then God.

God reminded me of Joshua. God told Joshua 4 times in Joshua chapter 1 to be strong and very courageous. Joshua was facing leading the Israelites into Canaan. He had to be strong and very courageous. God told Joshua that He would never leave him or forsake him. God told Joshua to get ready. God was moving Joshua.

Today, I was facing leading my children into a new school. I doubted and I cried, and I feared.

But God wanted me to be strong and courageous.

What peace God gave me. How he calmed his child. How I am so very thankful.

Courage....

courage is not the absence of fear, it is the willingness to move forward in spite of it.

courage is the attitude of facing....anything recognized as dangerous, difficult or painful instead of withdrawing from it.

I needed courage. And courage is what God gave me.

Joshua 1:16 ~ Then they answered Joshua, whatever you have commanded us we will do, and wherever you send us we will go.

This morning, before the busyness of my day began, I told God, that whatever he commands us we will do and wherever He sends us we will go.

And my soul knew that He would go before us.

So with my fear quenched, and a resolve in my heart we "faced the devil"

I was able to stay with Maddie for a little bit this morning. I was able to help her get her locker set up, and talk to the school nurse, and walk her to her 1st class.

And then....well, God.

Then God just wowed me.

Because He can.

The whole class turned to Maddie and all of them talked at once welcoming her to the school and telling her how excited they were to see her and just showing her kindness. Which is awesome in and of itself.

But then, her teacher came to me, and looked me in the eye, and said...

don't be afraid, I've got this.

I'll watch out for her.

I graduated from North Love.

And I love Jesus.

W.O.W.

Overwhelmed.

Yes, I was the crazy mother who with tears in my eyes, hugged this teacher I didn't even know.

This kindred spirit.

I walked out of that school with proof that we were where we were supposed to be. That although I don't understand the why of it all, I don't need to. But I have faith that we are where we are supposed to be.

WoW

I spent the rest of the day getting Nathan set up at his school (where I feel much more comfortable with) He met with his teacher and he knows where his classroom is. And he is excited that his neighbor boy friend is in his class. His 1st day is tomorrow.

He is nervous, and he is sad about leaving what he knows. About leaving his friends. But I think a little excitement is growing in him.

If you think about him tomorrow say a little prayer for him.

When you ask God, to take your box of what you know of Him, and shake it upside down, do not be surprised when he does it.

I hate making titles....

Happy Sunday!

We have had a busy day. Good, but busy day.

I still have 6 loads of laundry to do. And it's 9:35. I don't think it will get done before I go to bed.

I made a new-er recipe tonight for dinner.

It was a chicken dish. Pretty good.

Well....J and I liked it. The kids....well....not so much.

We raked leaves this afternoon.

And when I say we, I mean Jeremy and the kids.

SOMEONE had to stay inside and watch Emma, who refused to take a nap.

We actually had her outside for a little bit, but it was too chilly for her.

Emma is forever enthralled with the kids.

I love to see her watch them.

I just got done eating a delicious piece of pumpkin pie. Homemade of course by yours truly.

It was still warm, and the cool whip kinda melted off of it.

heaven

I love this picture of Maddie with Emma.

LoVe It.

Is anyone else ignoring the fact that Christmas is coming quickly?

But before Christmas......

and after Thanksgiving......

someone turns 1.

Happy 11 month bday Emma girl.

It. has. gone. to. fast.

A sweeter child there never was.

El Shaddai

In my bible study, we are talking about promised land living, and what it means. One of the signs of promised land living is expecting miracles.

I think I struggle with this. You see,  I see the miracles in the Bible and I wonder why these great and mighty miracles don't happen today..... to me or the people around me. Maybe they do and I am not aware of them because people don't talk about them.

This has been something on my mind for quite some time now. Expecting miracles.

To be one in a million, to see God working and moving in my life, yes.....I want that. I want that with my whole heart.

To expect miracles.

Well....yes. I expect miracles. But maybe I am expecting the wrong thing. I'm not talking about...... that God wouldn't work. Because I know He does. But my way is not God's way. His idea of a miracle may not be mine.

You see, this week, I have been expecting a miracle. I have been expecting God to take care of something. Something I don't really want to get into the details of. But Jeremy and I have been anxiously awaiting to see God move....in a big huge way. We wanted to see something that only God could do.  And as we would tick the days off the week, we kept waiting. And the miracle never came.

Well....in the way I thought it would.

My ways are not God's ways. I am not God. And He doesn't always choose to tie things up in a pretty box with a pretty ribbon and hand it to us.

No, this week, God did not do the miracle I was expecting.

But then God.

Did.

When the Israelites were walking to Canaan. Moses had died and Joshua was now their leader, they had to cross the Jordan river. At that point the Jordan was swollen. At flood stage, the river was 50 times wider then normal. I can't even imagine how big it was. I can't even imagine how raging the waters were sweeping by them. 50 times wider then normal.

This week, yes, this week has been tough. It has been "tougher then normal." Maybe not 50 times more, but the burden has been deeper, heavier then normal.

I have spent time on my knees, face down in front of my God. And everyday, I have gotten up. Expecting. Anxiously awaiting to see His miracle. I didn't know what it was or how it would come. But I HAD to have faith to see the unseeable.

A prayer of my heart has been that God would take my box, that box of who I thought He is, who I have been taught He is, the box that we put our past experiences with God in, that box where we throw our disappointments with God into and  turn it upside down and shake it out. God is not a God of the Sunday morning pew who so many many good bible believing Christians think He is. My God is not dead, He lives and He moves and He shows Himself to those who earnestly seek Him.

No, God was not silent this week. He had a horn shouting in my ear and in my heart. And I am so grateful. It came by means of a sermon online. (My friend Jenn told us about it in our small group at Bible Study. It has touched her heart last week and she wanted to share.) TD Jakes preaches a sermon called Save the Scraps. Amazing. I sat at my kitchen table this week drinking it in. Eating the Bread of Life. Meat. That my hungry soul has been craving.

Listen to the sermon if you have a little while. It is in 3 parts. I can't find it in 1 whole segment.

Save the Scraps part 1

Save the scraps part 2

Save the scraps Part 3

If you listen to the sermon, the following might be a little more clear.

What I learned, what I came away with (besides my 6 pages of notes) was the miracle is in the breaking. The sermon was based on the 2 fish and 5 loaves. The miracle of that day didn't happen until Jesus broke the bread. Breaking had to occur before the miracle could happen. And each time the breaking came, the miracle became more and more.

I sat there and my God was breaking my will. Breaking my control. Breaking my expectations. Breaking my mold of who I thought God was.

Breaking me.

Miracles always begin in recognition of what you have. If you don't recognize what you have you can never multiply what you do not recognize.

God blessed something that wasn't enough. Until you can be thankful something that is not enough, you can't be thankful for the more then enough.

El Shaddai. More then enough.

Why would a God whos' name means more then enough, stop at enough? Why would David say, my cup runneth over? When God says I will pour out a blessing, I am not limited by your capacity to receive what I have. I intend for you to have overflow so that your children and your childrens children.....will have enough.

When the Israelites crossed that raging, swollen river. God had stopped the water from the north. So the Israelites walked across Jordan on dry ground.

He stopped the waters from flowing.

No, the miracle isn't what I thought it would be. The miracle for us is that He stopped the raging waters from flowing this week.

The Miracle has been something better. Something only God could do. Something only God could show me. I am so glad that He gave me ears to hear from Him.

The Miracle has been God turning the not enough into more then enough.

The miracle has been in saving the scraps.

The miracle has been in calming his child.

In me knowing El Shaddai.

Scraps. I will save the scraps.

A quiet weekend

I was able to help with picture day last week....and that meant spending just a little bit of time with my dear friend Reitha. My Reitha is so very dear to me. We spent a lot of time together a couple years ago. I miss that time. I miss the heart to hearts we had.

I found it very neat that Reitha and Emma share the same birthday. Emma was quite taken herself with Reitha. :)

The American Girl Doll magazine came in the mail the other day. Maddie made Emma sit and look at it with her. Maddie has already shared her Bitty Baby with Emma. Bitty sleeps in Emma's crib with her. In the morning, I will go and and find Emma playing with her Bitty.

My Emma girl is growing so quickly.

She is into everything these days. She especially likes to try and play with a plant and my box of books I have in the living room. She still thinks "no" is a fun game. When we say "no" to her sternly, she will look and stare at us and then laugh and laugh.

Little Miss Thing is such a happy baby. I am so very blessed.

She is also trying to stand by herself.

She was thinking that she was big stuff!!

And then she did it!!!!

She stood all by herself for a couple seconds before falling into Daddy's safe arms.

It has been a quiet weekend. I think I needed it. I have a busy week ahead. Good week, but busy week. We have gotten the laundry and housework caught up (you know, just so we can get it messy again!!) and I have enjoyed doing a little extra cooking this weekend.

Church was good today. We have so been enjoying church. With hesitation we followed the Lords leading and left our church that we have called home for the last 10 years.  It was a tough decision, but with my changes in work, we knew we needed to find a church closer to home. We needed to worship together on Sundays as a family. We pray the Lord continues to make his way known to us.

I am tired now, Emma  and Nathan are finally sleeping. Maddie stayed the night at Grandma's tonight. My warm bed and Hubby are calling my name.

Have a great week.

I don't know what you are facing this week. I don't know what I am facing this week. But as you look forward, remember, fear is not of God. Remember the truths of God and walk in those. You are a child of the King.

What have we been up to you ask??

Right now, Emma is sitting in her high chair feeding Bella. She is playing the game of I eat 1 cheerio and Bella can have 2 Cheerios. Bella LOVES this game. Emma thinks its pretty fun as well.

well.... we have been to volleyball games.......

and learning new tricks, like getting in the cupboards. She likes the one across from her better. It of course has the glass bowls in it.

We have been to slumber parties and a fun fair at church.....and this is what those 2 combined in 12 hours will do to a 10 yr old boy.

We have been to more volleyball games.

We have had a little break in Mommy's work schedule which has meant fun afternoons of nap time play time with Emma. We spent the afternoon 1 rainy day on the floor. Emma thought it was pretty fun.....and I did to. Emma uses us now as a jungle gym and thinks she is hot stuff.

And of course, wherever we are......so is Bella......at 1 point in the afternoon she was trying to lay right on top of me!!

Proof you ask??

 

Emma thinks Bella is pretty cool. And that is probably why Bella hangs around her so much.

 

We have been to more volleyball games.

This day was a tournament. Long day. Emma only crashed once.

She kept herself entertained the rest of the day.

                                                        **Daddy......L.o.V.e**

And the best news of all.....the girls finally won a game!!!

Well Bella is Emma is out of Cheerios, and I might have just gotten drunk off of clean baby smell.

.......sigh......

I best be off to get ready for work.

today, keep God's presence exalted....... don't become complacent or live in fear. trust.

 God is enough.

This Mountain

I am walking through a kinda difficult time in my life. God is moving and doing things in my life in which I don't fully understand. I am fine with that. I know that God's ways are not my ways.

I am in the middle of this Bible Study. And I tell you it is challenging me in ways that I couldn't even really imagine. My honest prayer is that God really will change my life. I desire to be 1 in a million.

You see, I am now, in the middle of the wilderness. I know that God has led me here for a reason. The children of Israel didn't just happen upon the wilderness, God led them there for there good. He led them there because He knew they couldn't face war with the Philistines. God led them through the wilderness to teach them who He is and what he is capable of doing. They didn't have to make the journey last 40 years. That was there choice BC they disobeyed God.

I do not want to be like the Israelites I do not want to wander aimlessly for 40 years through this place. God has led me to this place in my life. He will speak kindly to me (Hosea 2:14) and he will gently lead me through it. I pray that I will not fail my tests as He brings them to me.

Today's study was intense. It was about Mt. Sinai. the Mountain of God. The place where God revealed himself to Moses. Twice. The place where God promised Moses that He would lead his people to.

Mt. Sinai was the furthest point south in the journey to the land of Canaan. The furthest point away from the land flowing with milk and honey.

The place where they were furthest away from their goal was where God showed himself.

I look at our life. And we seem to be so far from.....where we envisioned ourselves, from our hopes and dreams. And I know sometimes we wonder if it will always be like this. Will we always struggle though everything? Can things never go "easy" for us.

It seems to me that we are so very far from that place....that place of comfort, or "being able to breath easier" I surely know that things could get worse. I know that others have it worse.

Mt. Sinai was south. Canaan was far to the north. At the mountain of God, the Israelites were far from the place they desired. No milk or honey was in sight. But while the Hebrews longed for a land of external blessing and abundance, God called them to stop at Sinai. There they would discover internal blessing and an abundance that they didn't realize they needed. At Sinai they obtained intimacy and fellowship with the Lover of their souls, a gift far more precious and lasting then Canaan's milk and honey. I believe every wilderness journey leads to a Sinai experience. The place that seems distant from your desired destination provides fertile soil for God to reveal Himself to you.

You see, yes, I would love to be in my "Canaan," that place where we can breath a little bit better. But more then that, I truly desire to know my God. I desire to hear from God daily, and to walk in his footsteps. I desire to see Him work in ways I can't even imagine. I want him to transform my life. OuR LiVeS.

Maybe that is why God has us here. I don't know if I would have understood that. To want God more then we want that....... 1 thing in our life. What is that 1 thing that you long for?? A husband? A new house? A baby? A new job?

Seek for God more then you seek for that. That is what God wants.

Now if you are like me, when hard things happen in your life, you want to get through them as fast as possible. This wilderness that I am in hasn't been fun. It has been emotionally exhausting. It has been trying, it is a path of walking by faith and not by sight. For if I walked by sight, I would be a sinking ship. No....I want to learn whatever lesson I am supposed to learn and then hightail it out of this wilderness.

But what did the Israelites do when they came to the Mountain of God? Exodus 19:2 says that they camped there!!!! They put up their tent and camped out in front of the Mountain.

I don't know what it means to camp out in this wilderness of my life. Moses knew that he was leading the people of God to Holy ground. But on the chance that I am sitting in front of a Mountain of God. Holy Ground. I will pitch my tent and camp out so I can meet with God.

Friend, camp at this mountain with a glad heart. Despite the difficulty of the journey and with all your questions in tow, fully engaged in this season of God's chosen journey for you. Don't leave your bags packed in hopes God will quickly move you to Canaan. Don't miss out on what He wants to do "this very day" Settle in and turn your eyes to the mountain. The Lord wants to reveal Himself to you in a way that will change your life forever.

Wow.

So my prayer today, is to camp at the Mountain of God. I have so many questions. So many. But I pray that I am fully engaged in this wilderness journey that He has me on. I do not want to miss God working in the little details of my life. My eyes are turned to the Mountain.

May today be the day that I see the God that brought me out of Egypt. Lord, change my life and the life of my family. I pray that I see God supernaturally work in my life.

I love this song. Maddie and I were singing to it the other day.

*****The words written in italics were copied from my study book*****

If you get the chance, I highly recommend this study. It might just change your life.

The Wilderness

I am in the midst of a new Bible study. I am amazed at how this study in aligning with my life. I know that that is by no accident. We serve a God who cares so deeply for us.

I have asked God with arms wide open to change my life and the lives of my family. I want to see Him. I want to see my husband and children loving God in ways they couldn't imagine. He is living and breathing a truly cares about every detail of our lives. I have put my God in a box. That's what I have learned. That he could only work in the confines of these rules. These rules that we as "men" have placed on ourselves. I want to have such a relationship with God that I see him in my every day life. I want God to reveal himself to me in ways that I couldn't even imagine.

I say this with trepidation. Not because of anything I have done, but because I have seen God.....well... hear......I have seen God hear my cry today. You see this morning before I opened my Bible, I prayed that I would hear from Him today.  And did my study and it was great. I enjoyed it and I took away different aspects of what I was being taught.

But when I got to Bible study......I don't know if I have ever experienced such a flow of God's love as I did today. I was late getting to my small group. (I had spilled coffee all over my bag. And after cleaning up spilled coffee from my bible, and notebook, purse and phone.....well....it would have been easier to go home at that point!! ) But I stayed and sat down. And one of the 1st questions that was asked just brought me to tears. I had no intention of sharing my heart and soul, but I did. I was overwhelmed. I am not the kind of person to open up to strangers, but I know that today it was God pouring out his love to me in a small group of other believers. No answers were given, no problems solved, but a weight was lifted.

And God answered me and I heard him tell me that I was loved. Not because I had earned it, or because I did anything great. But because He is good. Because he is who he says he is and does what he says he will do. I was told on Sunday by my Mom to rest in his promises. His promises that all things do work together for our good, that even though we can't see the outcome that He already knows. To rest in what I know to be true of God.

God used a simple video session in Bible study to speak further to me. Its like He was talking straight to me and gave me these verses today and they have blown me away. Such beautiful verses that talked right into the very depths of my soul.

Hosea 2: 14-23

Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the wilderness and speak tenderly to her. There I will give her back her vineyards, and will make the Valley of Achor a door of hope. There she will respond as in the days of her youth, as in the day she came up out of Egypt. In that day, declares the Lord, you will call me 'my husband'; you will no longer call me 'my master'. I will remove the names of the Baals from her lips; no longer will their names be invoked. In that day I will make a covenant for them with the beasts of the field, the birds in the sky and the creatures that move along the ground. Bow and sword and battle I will abolish from the land, so that all may lie down in safety. I will betroth you to me forever; I will betroth you in righteousness and justice, in love and compassion. I will betroth you in faithfulness and you will acknowledge the Lord. In that day I will respond, declares the Lord - I will respond to the skies, and they will respond to the earth; and the earth will respond to the grain, and the new wine and the olive oil, and they will respond to Jezreel. I will plant her for myself in the land; I will show my love to the one I called 'Not my loved one.' I will say to those called 'Not my people,' 'You are my people'; and they will say, 'You are my God.'

I so strongly feel that God is moving me from the Land of Egypt in many different areas of my life. I am trying with God's help to lay down strongholds in my life. I feel very much like I am walking through a wilderness right now. I used to always associate "wilderness" times in my life as bad things. But not anymore. This time.... while hard, and emotional, and frustrating has brought me to tears many times. But I know that God is doing something in my life. I don't know what he is doing and I don't know where it is leading.  I know that I am on an uphill journey to know him more. As I walk uphill and stretch those muscles that I didn't quite know I had I am also hoping that I don't miss the lessons that God is showing me during this time. The wilderness is not the dessert. There is life in the wilderness.

God is leading me through the wilderness and he is speaking kindly to me. He has allured me with greater knowledge of his love and kindness for me.

Today, I will acknowledge the Lord and say............. " You are my God!!!"