Thursday Ramblings...

Oh my word.

I cannot brag enough about the roast in the deep covered baker. You can get it here.

When Jeremy walked into the house, he said "You can smell that all the way by the alley, I was hoping it was coming from our house. " Isn't that what all cooks like to hear?

When the roast was done, He proceeded to stand over the roast with a fork and pick at it.

Between Jeremy, and 4 boys (the neighbor kids stopped by) , there wasn't much left when I got home from my party. :)

So yes, I think it was a resounding success.

Yesterday, I was able to try a new Pampered Chef recipe that is coming out in the fall. It's a risotto dish that is made in the rockcrok. you can see it here.  Since my stove is broken, (it really is a shame for someone who likes to cook, hopefully its a quick fix.) I decided to make it on the grill. ( I could have made it in the microwave, but since I had the grill on, I thought why not! )

Jeremy may or may not have had 4 helpings.

And yes, it was that good.

In other cooking/baking news

 

This happened last night. Here is the recipe.

 

Thanks pinterest.

 

It was a delight after a long day smothered with vanilla ice cream.

 

Today will be filled with doing more laundry. And at some point going to the park. I promised Emma we would go. She is pretty excited. She can't wait to swing on the swings and slide down the slide.

 

Anyone else loving this weather? It's been perfect for me.

 

Well, I am off. Have a blessed day.

 

Just a Tuesday in July

I was Betty Crocker this morning. *pat on back

I made homemade granola. Here is the recipe.

It is in the oven still, but I am very anxious to see how it turned out.

I have decided upon recent weight gain that it is time to start doing something about it again.

I went to the gym yesterday. *again. pat on back

I haven't went since May. ok. Maybe April. Whenever Tancy went on her magical cruise. That's the last time I was there. *no pat on back here.

I have biked. But not regularly.

Anyway. Enough about that.

As you may know, I have 2 dogs. And my house smells like a pound. ( It probably doesn't, but... well I would hate for people to walk in and think... oh I smell putrid dog. ) So I thought I would spiffy up my couches. I wish I could just throw them right in the washer and then hang them on the clothes line for some real added freshness. But since that's possible, I don't quite know how to clean them. If you have any suggestions, PLEASE let me know.

My dogs aren't allowed on the furniture, but they still end up smelling like dogs. *gag me

Anyway, last night I poured 2 boxes of baking soda on them in hopes of deodorizing them. I will let you know how it works.

By the way, I keep getting a whif of the granola baking in the oven. ( on a pampered chef stone no doubt ) It smells PrEtTy amazing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ok. It's done. And I really like the flavor. The only change I would make would be to not bake it as long. My oven bakes hot and I think it's way to done. Some parts have almost a burnt flavor to it.

But I will most certainly be making it again.

In other news......

Guess who decided she was going to potty train!!! We woke up yesterday morning and thought today is the day. And she did it. She had one tiny accident yesterday at nap time but she knew she had to go and was trying to get there. Which I still consider a success.

She has even gone #2 on the potty. *woop woop

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Goodness, now it is well into the afternoon.

We ( Maddie and I, who was on a serious book shortage )  went to the library. It was Emma's first time to the Library. She picked out 1 book. Lol. If you know me, I will probably forget to return her 1 book and the stupid thing will cost me an arm and a leg. I think I am going to set a reminder in my phone to return the book. Maybe that will help. May I also add, no accidents at the library?! :)

I have a party tonight. I love saying that I get to go to a party. That's what it really is. I get to spend time with people and try and help them releave some stresses of the day. We get to relax and enjoy each other's company even if just for a little bit.

I have in the oven a roast. I usually do it in the crockpot on low all day. But today I am trying it out in the Deep Covered Baker. I will let you know how it goes.

Last night I cooked 2 pork tenderloins.... in the microwave. EEK!!!! I am not usually a microwave chef, but I will tell you, they were surprisingly moist and juicy. I made a homemade BBQ sauce and we had BBQ Pork over some Hawaiian Sweet Rolls. DeLiSh!!!!

Next on the agenda is a chocolate lava cake in the microwave.

Enjoy the rest of your day.

P.S. I don't think the baking soda on the couches worked. Any tips will be greatly appreciated. I detest dog smell.

Walk in His ways

I had kind of an a ha moment this morning....

Don't you love those??

I have been thrown into some uncharted waters as of late with an issue with my neighbor. We have always had good neighbors and so this has all taken my by somewhat of a surprise.

Don't get me wrong.

They are good people.

They really are.

I do not want to go into the details of all that has been happening.

But I will share my heart on the matter.

I think that healing and restoration comes when people stop pretending and start being real with each other.

I want to be genuine.

So here goes.

In the beginning I really feel that I was innocent in the matter.

I did not know where her frustration and anger were coming from. ( and I still don't ) 

But as time went on, walls were built. Walls of bitterness and anger and frustration. Walls built from lack of communication and common decency.

You can't delete your neighbor off of facebook and expect to then have them deleted out of your life completely.

Especially if we are both children of God.

Which I truly believe we are.

Which makes this whole thing even sadder.

So since this is unchartered territory.

I took it to the only place where I know to turn when my heart is overwhelmed.

I took it to the Rock that is higher then me.

Every morning, I have just poured my heart out to God. I have prayed that he would show me my heart and the wrong that I have done.

And he has.

And I trust will continue to do.

In the meantime..... I have felt this whole pulling from my sin nature to "get even" to allow my heart to be bitter and angry and to really seek to be justified in the wrong that has been invoked on me.

But when I open the bread of life.... my instruction book..... I read to love your neighbor as yourself..... to not repay evil for evil...... to love deeply..... to turn the other cheek...... to have my love be sincere ( yikes.... have you ever heard the saying fake it till you make it?? I think that's what I try to do sometimes.) But I am commanded to have a sincere love.

And I truly believe all this.

I TrY to live like this.

It is my hearts desire.

But I have FaiLeD. miserably.

I have acted out of anger and just complete frustration.

And I am sorry for that.

I don't know how to make amends now.

But I trust God to guide me in it.

But back to my point....

So I read all this stuff about how I am supposed to act and respond.....

and then I have been reading in Psalms and in Isaiah and there are verses like this...

Psalm 59:10-13 - God will go before me and will let me gloat over those who slander me. But do not kill them Lord our shield, or my people will forget. In your might uproot them and bring then down. For the sins of their mouths, for the words of their lips,  let them be caught in their pride. For the curses and lies they utter, consume them in your wrath, consume them till they are no more. Then it will be known to the ends of the earth that God rules over Jacob.

or

Isaiah 25:10-12 - The hand of the Lord will rest on this mountain; but Moab will be trampled in their land as straw is trampled down in the manure. They will stretch out their hands in it, as swimmers stretch out their hands to swim. God will bring down their pride despite the cleverness of their hands. He will bring down your high fortified walls and lay them low; he will bring them down to the ground, to the very dust.

What a contrast right??

In my flesh..... YES!!! This is what I want. I want God to come and repay them for all this craziness, all this unrest.

Back to my Aha moment....

 I really am getting to it.

After pondering these verses.....

I ran across this little prize.

Isaiah 26:7-8 - The path of the righteous is level; you, the Upright One, make the way of the righteous smooth. Yes, Lord, walking in the way of your laws, we wait for you; your name and renown are the desires of my heart.

I think that yes, God WANTS me to be kind and loving. He knows I am going to fail, but that is the beauty of Him. He is quick to offer grace and mercy and forgiveness at the foot of the cross. And in so doing, I can pour grace and mercy and forgiveness on those around me. And I am willing to do so.

The difference in these verses that I see is that the showing love to my neighbor part implies something that I am commanded to do. It is up to me to die to myself, to my flesh, to the part of me that wants to get even. And the verses in Psalm and Isaiah are up to God to deliver.

It is my job to stay connected to the Giver of Life. To my Abba. To my Lord.

He promises that He will protect me from harm. And from those who slander and have an evil intent in their heart. He has promised that He will vindicate me.

My job is to walk in the way of His laws. And even though I feel like I am not quite walking... more stumbling through this life, being tripped up by my own stupidity.... I wait for Him.

Because His name and renown are truly the desires of my heart.

I WaNt others to see Jesus in me.

Even though I fail at this on a daily basis.

To be moldable clay that God can form and turn into a thing of beauty.

Love each other deeply

My heart is kinda a big pile of jumbled mess. One that I am fervently trying to let God figure out.

I don't know how much to "put out there" or if I should even be blogging about this at all. And I don't honestly even know quite where to start.

I have liked to think of myself as "one who loves" maybe I have deceived myself. I have thought that I was pretty easy to get a long with. Of course there is always those few who really grate on your nerves and you can't stand. But I had few people on that list. I would and still do overlook a lot of faults bc I know we are all human and everyone of us have quirks. But for the most part, I thought I was pretty easy to get a long with. How you see me is pretty much how I am. I try my best to be open and honest with anyone who cares to get to know me. I really like to try to get to a deeper relationship with people. I feel that is where we learn the best from others.

I have recently encountered a situation where someone's actions have befuddled me to the very core of my being. They are a loud, professing Christian. Yet they are acting as anything but Christ-Like. ( I think I need to rewrite the book....When Godly people do ungodly things. )

I don't necessarily think that this person is attacking me personally, but the neighborhood as a whole.

To say that she is upset is putting it lightly.

For what.

I'm not quite for sure.

She won't talk to anyone. At all.

She has deleted and blocked us all off of facebook and then seems to thinks that she can delete us all out of her life.

She wants to end any cordial communication, and will seek this matter lawfully is she needs to.

What matter?

Again.

Don't really know.

This is where I am confused.

As a Christ follower.... am I ever allowed to just end a "cordial" relationship?

Romans 12:16a - Live in harmony with one another

17-21 - Do not repay evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: It is mine to revenge; I will repay, says the Lord. On the contrary, If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty; give him something to drink. In doing this you will heap burning coals on his head. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Romans 13: Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law. The commandments, “You shall not commit adultery,” “You shall not murder,” “You shall not steal,” “You shall not covet,” and whatever other command there may be, are summed up in this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”  Love does no harm to a neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.

I John 3:18 - Dear children, let us not love with words or speech, but with actions and in truth.

1 John 3:23 - 24 And this is his command: to believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as he commanded us.  The one who keeps God’s commands lives in him, and he in them. And this is how we know that he lives in us: We know it by the Spirit he gave us.

I John 4: 7-21 Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.  Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.
This is how we know that we live in him and he in us: He has given us of his Spirit. And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in them and they in God. And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.
God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.  This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
We love because he first loved us. Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen.  And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister.

I John 5:2 - This is how we know that we love the children of God: by loving God and carrying out his commands.

I am not saying that I have this all figured out. I don't.

I absolutely love the peace and life that the word of God brings. You go to the Father for leading and direction, and he pours it out to you.

The hard part is putting it into practice.

The hard part is not loving in speech, but in action.

Dear neighbor. If you are reading this, please hear my heart. I refuse to end a cordial relationship. I am commanded by our Father not to.

1 Peter 4:8 - Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sin.

Above all, love each other deeply. because love covers a multitude of sin.

Above all, we are commanded to love. Deeply.

Love.

Christ love.

Agape love.

Will cover a multitude of sin.

Your sin.

My sin.

I want to be known as a child of God.

I want our neighbors to see that their is a God and that he is a God of love and peace. Not hatred and bitterness and strife.

I John 2: 3 - 11   We know that we have come to know him if we keep his commands. Whoever says, “I know him,” but does not do what he commands is a liar, and the truth is not in that person.  But if anyone obeys his word, love for God is truly made complete in them. This is how we know we are in him: Whoever claims to live in him must live as Jesus did.
Dear friends, I am not writing you a new command but an old one, which you have had since the beginning. This old command is the message you have heard.  Yet I am writing you a new command; its truth is seen in him and in you, because the darkness is passing and the true light is already shining.
 Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates a brother or sister is still in the darkness. Anyone who loves their brother and sister lives in the light, and there is nothing in them to make them stumble.  But anyone who hates a brother or sister is in the darkness and walks around in the darkness. They do not know where they are going, because the darkness has blinded them.

I do not want to live in darkness. I do not want this little....good....corner of our world to be covered in darkness brought on my the evil one.

Ephesians 6:12 - For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.
I know my battle is not with you friend.

When you are ready, I have something to give to you. I saw it at the store and thought of you. I would love to give it to you over the magic fence.

 

I blame it on the weather.....

So this week saw me with an unplanned project.

It was one of those days that I saw 1 thing that had to be done, which led to something else, which led to something else, which led to painting the cabinets.

That's normal.

Right?

My friend Tancy and I joke about my cabinets. They aren't exactly the most organized. I know where everything is. But.... well.... they drive her nuts. Like NUTS.

She's even come over and organized them for me.

Anyway.

Tancy isn't the issue. (this time)

My cabinets were.

When I painted the top cabinets blue. I didn't love it.

I dealt with it bc we just went through all this work to paint them, I couldn't be like..... yah, Jeremy, I hate the blue. Let's paint them again.

So I dealt with it.

Until this week.

You see, I was kinda bored. The weather was cold and rainy, so Emma and I couldn't go outside.

I just happened to have a gallon of paint laying around.

Well.

The rest is history.

It brightens up the kitchen, which I need, bc I have terrible lighting in there. I am so jealous of you women who have a beautiful window over your sink.

I'm thinking about removing ^ that piece of wood in the middle of this cabinet. I think it would look better.

Anyway. Hope you all have a great weekend. This lady has exciting news coming! Come back soon!

My anchor holds......

I have had quite the week this week.

If you know anything about me, you will know that music speaks to my very soul.

These 2 songs have meant a lot to me.

God has allowed me to be bent this week. But I am thankful that he will not allow me to break.

 

And as this week is ending.... I can just say....

 

That my anchor is held.

 

And for now.... that is enough.

 

 

 

Let the redeemed of the Lord tell their story....

I sit here with trepidation at even broaching this topic on my blog. I have tried to ignore it. To squash it. But the thought keeps coming back..... blog it. Blog it. BLOG IT. Until I can no longer ignore it or squash it. So here I sit. Not knowing where to start, or what to say.

Psalm 107:2 - Let the redeemed of the Lord tell their story

So here's my story......

Redeemed. Bought back.

I finally get it.

I have been redeemed.

I can finally wear that name with pride, for it is printed across my heart and soul.

Because Jesus brought me back from the dead or the dying.

I have been saved since I was 17. That is when I was adopted into Christ's family. I know it. I knew that night at summer camp that if I died, I would go to heaven.

And that was enough for a while.

I wanted a relationship with Christ.... I would try to read my bible and pray. We went to church. When we were supposed to, Sunday School, Sunday Morning, Sunday Night, Wednesday Night, Special services. We were there, active, doing what we thought, following the list of rules..... ha..... trying to follow the list of rules. But I never could live up to them. If I didn't follow the "woman's dress code", I wasn't good enough, couldn't serve.  If we missed a service. We weren't good. If we didn't tithe....enough.... we weren't good.

I was sick of not being good enough. I have felt that way my whole life. Not good enough. I had a youth pastor and his wife, youth leaders, Sunday school teachers, and more tell me I wasn't good enough. Maybe not always with words. But with the contemptuous attitude they gave me.

I was always just given a list of rules to follow and that is how I would be considered good. It's not a written list. But you know you are being judged for....everything. You can tell it in looks, and comments. Some people wear their disapproval right on their faces for all the world to see. (On a side note, I have learned it isn't always about me they disapprove of. They themselves are empty and hollow. Wanting more, needing more, then a religion. They need that relationship with Christ but don't even know it. I am not talking about the unsaved here. I am talking about faithful church people who think it's enough to fill a pew Sunday morning and throw some money in a plate as it passes by but who have never really known what it is like to truly and honestly have a relationship with the One True God. With not only the Savior of the world, but the Savior of their very soul. Who died on the cross for their sins. I think our Sunday pews are full of people who only see God in the box that we have put him in.)

 I was empty. I was searching for something. For more.

About 7 or 8 years ago, I felt this need to find the more.

I was sick of searching in the places that should lead me to Christ and that is the very place that would leave me feeling emptier and emptier. I remember so vividly leaving services in tears and fighting anger b/c all I wanted was to know who God was and know Him more. And all I got was don't do this and don't do that. It was all about the end times are coming and you gotta be ready. Do I believe Christ will return for his children? ABSOLUTELY. But I need help in living in the today. Not in the tomorrow. And tell me, where could I go to talk about these feelings? Would anyone even get how we felt?

So I went to God,  started digging into my bible. I am an avid journaler and I would right down all my questions.

Someone gave Beth Moore bible study called Breaking Free. I didn't do it with the video series but I so enjoyed going through the work book.

It was the start of this journey that I am on that I never. And I mean EVER want to get off of.

It was the 1st time that I really studied the bible and understood what it meant. I was rejoicing in my God and what he was doing in my life.

I could feel this change in me. But couldn't really voice what was happening. I wanted to shout how good God was. But my voice was silent.

People still saw me for the not good enough that I was.

They saw this outside shell of what I was and never saw me for what Christ wanted me to be. Gave me no hope of over being more.

But I felt different. Knew that something was changing on the inside.

I did that Bible study at 2 different times in those years and got different things out of it. I loved how close it brought me to God and what I learned.

I always wanted to be involved in an actual in depth study of God's word. But there weren't any available.

After Emma was born, my friend told me that they were gonna be offering a Beth Moore bible study at their church. I hemmed and hawed at the idea bc my friend couldn't go. And I wouldn't know anyone.

But the idea of a bible study kept coming back to me, so one day after Christmas Break, I called the church to see when it started and if I could join and low and behold it started in an hour.

I booked it over there and made it...not late...with in an hour. With a 6 week old baby. That in itself was a miracle.

I was scared to death and didn't know a single living soul. But these woman were so warm and welcoming. And I was finally getting what this relationship with my Savior meant. He simply wanted the broken thing of me. He wanted my heart, each and every day. Not once I achieved a list of unspoken rules and regulations. Not once I looked a certain way. He simply wanted me to come to him as that broken hurting woman that I was.

And I knew I was home.

Let the redeemed of the Lord share their story.

J and I had been struggling at church for a couple years. Kinda wanting to leave but never feeling like it was quite right. So we took it to God. We told him our desires and asked him to show us what he wanted.

And he did.

After a little struggle with God about where we felt He wanted us. We finally had peace about it. Our families didn't, and boy did we hear how we were stepping of the deep end..... did you hear where THEY are going now??? Do you know what that church PREACHES??? Do you know what they believe?? Do you know what kind of music they listen to?? And the women.... have you seen them? I could go on and on and on.

But I am so thankful. So very thankful for the peace that God gives his children when they seek his will for their life. It doesn't always make sense to those looking on but it is always. Always right.

I still attend the Women's Bible study. It is one of my very favorite things in the world. Ironically, isn't it funny how God's timing is never ironic? We just finished up Breaking Free with Beth Moore. I have loved studying it with other women who truly want to know what it means to love and serve God.

These woman know my heart. They don't judge me. They only see what God is trying to make me into. Here I don't have to follow an unachievable set of rules. I only need to have my heart right before my maker. And I am being equipped in how to do that.

And finally......

By Gods unmerited favor...which is the grace of God, I know what it means to be redeemed, bc I know how broken I was before. I know what it means to be sanctified, for I have been set apart and am being made....holy...before God.

And,I know that I know that I know..... that I am new. I am redeemed and I can wear that name proudly.

Psalm 107: 4-8 Some wandered in desert wastelands,
    finding no way to a city where they could settle.
 They were hungry and thirsty,
    and their lives ebbed away.
 Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble,
    and he delivered them from their distress.
 He led them by a straight way
    to a city where they could settle.
Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love
    and his wonderful deeds for mankind,
for he satisfies the thirsty
    and fills the hungry with good things

I remember reading these verses years ago and thought then how that described us. I felt we were wandering in a desert wasteland, not having a city where we could settle. We were spiritually starving and our life was ebbing away. I did cry out to God. And in his mercy, he delivered us from our distress.

In my Bible reading recently God led me to these verses again. And I wept. Because he answered the groanings of our heart. He led us by a straight way. He led us to a place where we could settle.

I will give thanks.

So this is my story. The one that isn't over yet. It is written from my perspective. I do not in any way shape or form mean to hurt anyone's feelings or to knock other churches. I know that God uses all things to work together for his good. All things. Before you judge this post and tear it apart piece by piece, hear my heart, and rejoice with me for what God has done in our life.

I would like to give a shout out to my mom. She has listened to me in frustration and anger. She has been my champion prayer warrior. She has heard my heart and have watched me grow over the years. She was always been there when I had a question or just needed to talk and share my fears. I have cherished each and every one of our talks. I appreciate your prayers for each of your kids, even though I know I am your favorite! ;) She has always challenged me to take every decision before the throne of God. To not move until he tells us to. Thank you.