Made to Crave

I will admit it...... I have not been good today. I think for dinner I will just need to stick with a glass of ice water with lemon. Well...maybe not the lemon. :( That might be to many calories. I am trying. Truly I am. I worked out this afternoon. Like crazy mad worked out. 50 min on the elliptical. I was shooting for 60 min. Trying to burn off some of these insane calories I have eaten. Like I said....I was shooting for 60 min....... until my elliptical broke. The plastic piece in the middle cracked right down the middle. I could cry. Really I could. Maybe I will go ride my bike. Or. Maybe this is a sign that I should give up. I wonder if my bike will break also?

A walk with Brother

What a chilly spring break week we have had. Even though the weather has been very chilly, we have still been able to get out enjoy some of the sunshine.

While Dada was at Grandma's house. Hunny and I took Brother on a walk at the park.

I have honestly been looking forward to walking the trails again. We didn't dare take the dogs. I have learned my lesson in taking them out there even if I think it will be slightly muddy!! I already had Brother to try and wrangle out of the mud. :)

Forget about the mud! He made a bee line to annoy the poor geese.




I love this picture of Daddy and Son. Brother sure looks up to his Dad.



And why wouldn't he look up to him? Especially when Daddy wants to throw him into the creek!





But then, why would Daddy need to throw him in when he can jump in himself?? At least Daddy is there to help him up!



I enjoyed spending time with just Brother. He is most def all boy. He LOOKS for mud puddles and water to traipse through. He doesn't care that it's barely 32 degrees out. He likes it just because its fun. I on the other hand DON'T like it. I have his muddy shoes and his filthy jeans in the washer as we speak. Boys.




I truly can't wait for the temperature to get warmer. We have had a little taste of warmer weather in the past weeks. Summer can't come soon enough!

Wordless Wednesday......on Friday.

LoVe this picture.

Just some random pictures found on my camera. :)

Brother was in NOOOOO mood to be photographed.

but.....

that doesn't stop me!


I love this picture of Dada.

She is "organizing" my cupboards.....to bad that cupboard isn't one that needs organizing.....eeehhh Tancy!?



Daddy bribed her with $5 to clean the kitchen after dinner last night.....I was thinking...I would have cleaned the kitchen for $5!!

But she did a good job. I think she changed her clothes 3 times while doing the dishes! She ended up in just shorts and a t shirt. Silly girl.



Cupcake lost 1/2 her weight this past weekend in a hair cut. Now she resembles a drowned rat!

But she smells much better and she is happier cuz she can actually cuddle with me now.



And not to be left out. Our miniature horse Bella ;)

The other day Dada and her cousin Elisa went to the park. She begged me to take my camera along. I thought twice but decided to let her. I thought it would be fun to see what she photographed. What surprised me most was not that she took alot of pictures. But that she took video of their time. :) If I could figure out how to put it on here, I would. ;) So here are some pictures of the trip to the park.



They took their American Girl dolls and a blanket to play on. I was kinda surprised to not see any pictures of the dolls.



I was lucky to be able to carve out time with Tancy and Beth this week. We met at our local jungle gym and let the kids go nuts.

Tancy brought Domino's so we mom's were quite content.

I was so impressed that she didn't bring bananagrams. She does love me!! ;)



I was able to grab all the kids except 2 of them for a quick shot before they all took off again.





What a fun fun day we had.


Look what I found! This was in 2007!!




Just some random shots from our day today. Look who I found in the treat basket?!



Today it is snowing out. Monday we didn't need coats. Today it is cold and snowing. Welcome to spring!!

A date with Dada....

The other day, Dada and I found ourselves alone. I don't think it could have come at a better time either. I decided that it would be fun for just us girls to go out for dinner. I asked Dada where she would want to go. And she immediately chose chinese. We don't go out for chinese all that often. You see, it isn't 1 of Daddy's favorites. So I thought when better to go then when Daddy isn't there. :)



I wondered what Dada would want at a chinese restaurant. She had gone to a china buffet kinda deal with my friend Tancy 1 night and has talked incessantly about it. She got the duck and it was SOOOOO good and they even had jello there!

Instead of the duck.....what did she choose you ask?!??!

Why french fries and chicken strips of course!!


What else do you get at a chinese restaurant?? :)

I on the other hand had some of the best egg drop soup and then a ginormous plate of veg fried rice. I was only able to eat about 1/4 of it.


Who ate the leftover's you ask? Why Daddy of course! The same one who doesn't really like chinese! ;)

It was good to just BE with Dada. We took a long bike ride when we got home to help work off our calories. It's funny how much she opens up and share's her mind on a bike ride.

Made to Crave

Lord, I have felt so much like giving up lately. I don't really know why. Nothing has really happened of late. It's just a small voice asking me if all of this is really worth it. I know that it is worth it. I think I just feel like quite the failure sometimes. Not in 1 giant way. But in 1,000 little ones. This made to crave journey is so much harder then I would have ever imagined. I wonder if I can really even call it a made to crave journey any more! ;) I have allowed some sweets into my life. The crazy thing to me is that now is when I have started losing weight again. I am smart about what I eat. If I do eat something "bad" then I don't pig out on it anymore. And I make sure that I get my exercise in for that day. But, still that food that is not beneficial to me is what I choose to eat. If you have eaten the peanut butter M&M's then you know what I am talking about!! ;)

I have said from the beginning that this isn't about losing weight. That it's about craving God above all else. I desire to crave God above my craving for those wonderfully perfect M&M's. But I wonder if I have sort of deceived myself. You see. I do want to lose weight. I was stuck at 10 pounds for 4 weeks. 4 weeks and not a single pound lost. To say that I was frustrated is the understatement of the year!! I was eating right and exercising but NOT LOSING ANYTHING!! So finally under the advice of my wise friend....I pigged out 1 night. I didn't gorge myself. And by the end of the week I was down 2 pounds!! FINALLY!!

I say all that to say.....that, yes, I desire to know God. I want him to feed me with some real truth from his word. But I DO want to lose weight also. And somehow....somehow the 2 corelate.

I think I would do ok if it weren't for school. We start making lunch and the smell of the cookies or the brownies sends all my resolve out the window. That craving smacks me across the face and almost demands me to eat it.

I do have to wonder if that is how an addict feels about his drugs. It's almost something that you just have no control over. No power to stop. I feel almost powerless when it comes to these cravings.

But then God.......

Then God reminds me of the truth of his word.

I know a couple things about God.....

1. God always makes a way of escape.

2.This craving is not bigger then God.

3. God will not give me something that is bigger then I can handle.

1 Corin 10:13~There hath no temptation taken you but such as in common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.

This verse is proof of all things truths to me.

Another thing I know is that God is the one who has kept me even TRYING to do this. If it were just me myself and I, I would probably be shoving fist fulls of M&M's into my mouth right about now. :0

So the truth of this journey is this.....

-yes, it is hard

-yes, I have cheated

-but I am still continuing toward this long term goal that I have.

-I haven't given up

-I still desire for God to be real in my life

-I still desire God to use my life for his glory and honor

-and God HAS made his power real in my life by just the meer fact that we are going on not quite 2 months of this and he alone has sustained me. Even when I have felt like giving up and felt like nothing was happening and it just plain wasn't worth it to me.

- I have lost 13 pounds!!

Psalm 73:2~But as for me, my feet were almost gone; my steps has well nigh slipped,

~ 73:26 My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

I have been reminded of a friend who is fighting some very real and very angry demons right now. I am sure that she is fighting some very real cravings in her life. Today, even more then I want the victory in my life over this "little, seemingly insignificant" demon of sugar. I beg you to give her the victory in her life. She is in a battle for her life. Pour your grace on her life Lord. Keep her safe. Show her your power today. Draw her to you in a very real and remarkable way. MAKE her to crave you more then anything else.