I blame it on the weather.....

So this week saw me with an unplanned project.

It was one of those days that I saw 1 thing that had to be done, which led to something else, which led to something else, which led to painting the cabinets.

That's normal.

Right?

My friend Tancy and I joke about my cabinets. They aren't exactly the most organized. I know where everything is. But.... well.... they drive her nuts. Like NUTS.

She's even come over and organized them for me.

Anyway.

Tancy isn't the issue. (this time)

My cabinets were.

When I painted the top cabinets blue. I didn't love it.

I dealt with it bc we just went through all this work to paint them, I couldn't be like..... yah, Jeremy, I hate the blue. Let's paint them again.

So I dealt with it.

Until this week.

You see, I was kinda bored. The weather was cold and rainy, so Emma and I couldn't go outside.

I just happened to have a gallon of paint laying around.

Well.

The rest is history.

It brightens up the kitchen, which I need, bc I have terrible lighting in there. I am so jealous of you women who have a beautiful window over your sink.

I'm thinking about removing ^ that piece of wood in the middle of this cabinet. I think it would look better.

Anyway. Hope you all have a great weekend. This lady has exciting news coming! Come back soon!

My anchor holds......

I have had quite the week this week.

If you know anything about me, you will know that music speaks to my very soul.

These 2 songs have meant a lot to me.

God has allowed me to be bent this week. But I am thankful that he will not allow me to break.

 

And as this week is ending.... I can just say....

 

That my anchor is held.

 

And for now.... that is enough.

 

 

 

Let the redeemed of the Lord tell their story....

I sit here with trepidation at even broaching this topic on my blog. I have tried to ignore it. To squash it. But the thought keeps coming back..... blog it. Blog it. BLOG IT. Until I can no longer ignore it or squash it. So here I sit. Not knowing where to start, or what to say.

Psalm 107:2 - Let the redeemed of the Lord tell their story

So here's my story......

Redeemed. Bought back.

I finally get it.

I have been redeemed.

I can finally wear that name with pride, for it is printed across my heart and soul.

Because Jesus brought me back from the dead or the dying.

I have been saved since I was 17. That is when I was adopted into Christ's family. I know it. I knew that night at summer camp that if I died, I would go to heaven.

And that was enough for a while.

I wanted a relationship with Christ.... I would try to read my bible and pray. We went to church. When we were supposed to, Sunday School, Sunday Morning, Sunday Night, Wednesday Night, Special services. We were there, active, doing what we thought, following the list of rules..... ha..... trying to follow the list of rules. But I never could live up to them. If I didn't follow the "woman's dress code", I wasn't good enough, couldn't serve.  If we missed a service. We weren't good. If we didn't tithe....enough.... we weren't good.

I was sick of not being good enough. I have felt that way my whole life. Not good enough. I had a youth pastor and his wife, youth leaders, Sunday school teachers, and more tell me I wasn't good enough. Maybe not always with words. But with the contemptuous attitude they gave me.

I was always just given a list of rules to follow and that is how I would be considered good. It's not a written list. But you know you are being judged for....everything. You can tell it in looks, and comments. Some people wear their disapproval right on their faces for all the world to see. (On a side note, I have learned it isn't always about me they disapprove of. They themselves are empty and hollow. Wanting more, needing more, then a religion. They need that relationship with Christ but don't even know it. I am not talking about the unsaved here. I am talking about faithful church people who think it's enough to fill a pew Sunday morning and throw some money in a plate as it passes by but who have never really known what it is like to truly and honestly have a relationship with the One True God. With not only the Savior of the world, but the Savior of their very soul. Who died on the cross for their sins. I think our Sunday pews are full of people who only see God in the box that we have put him in.)

 I was empty. I was searching for something. For more.

About 7 or 8 years ago, I felt this need to find the more.

I was sick of searching in the places that should lead me to Christ and that is the very place that would leave me feeling emptier and emptier. I remember so vividly leaving services in tears and fighting anger b/c all I wanted was to know who God was and know Him more. And all I got was don't do this and don't do that. It was all about the end times are coming and you gotta be ready. Do I believe Christ will return for his children? ABSOLUTELY. But I need help in living in the today. Not in the tomorrow. And tell me, where could I go to talk about these feelings? Would anyone even get how we felt?

So I went to God,  started digging into my bible. I am an avid journaler and I would right down all my questions.

Someone gave Beth Moore bible study called Breaking Free. I didn't do it with the video series but I so enjoyed going through the work book.

It was the start of this journey that I am on that I never. And I mean EVER want to get off of.

It was the 1st time that I really studied the bible and understood what it meant. I was rejoicing in my God and what he was doing in my life.

I could feel this change in me. But couldn't really voice what was happening. I wanted to shout how good God was. But my voice was silent.

People still saw me for the not good enough that I was.

They saw this outside shell of what I was and never saw me for what Christ wanted me to be. Gave me no hope of over being more.

But I felt different. Knew that something was changing on the inside.

I did that Bible study at 2 different times in those years and got different things out of it. I loved how close it brought me to God and what I learned.

I always wanted to be involved in an actual in depth study of God's word. But there weren't any available.

After Emma was born, my friend told me that they were gonna be offering a Beth Moore bible study at their church. I hemmed and hawed at the idea bc my friend couldn't go. And I wouldn't know anyone.

But the idea of a bible study kept coming back to me, so one day after Christmas Break, I called the church to see when it started and if I could join and low and behold it started in an hour.

I booked it over there and made it...not late...with in an hour. With a 6 week old baby. That in itself was a miracle.

I was scared to death and didn't know a single living soul. But these woman were so warm and welcoming. And I was finally getting what this relationship with my Savior meant. He simply wanted the broken thing of me. He wanted my heart, each and every day. Not once I achieved a list of unspoken rules and regulations. Not once I looked a certain way. He simply wanted me to come to him as that broken hurting woman that I was.

And I knew I was home.

Let the redeemed of the Lord share their story.

J and I had been struggling at church for a couple years. Kinda wanting to leave but never feeling like it was quite right. So we took it to God. We told him our desires and asked him to show us what he wanted.

And he did.

After a little struggle with God about where we felt He wanted us. We finally had peace about it. Our families didn't, and boy did we hear how we were stepping of the deep end..... did you hear where THEY are going now??? Do you know what that church PREACHES??? Do you know what they believe?? Do you know what kind of music they listen to?? And the women.... have you seen them? I could go on and on and on.

But I am so thankful. So very thankful for the peace that God gives his children when they seek his will for their life. It doesn't always make sense to those looking on but it is always. Always right.

I still attend the Women's Bible study. It is one of my very favorite things in the world. Ironically, isn't it funny how God's timing is never ironic? We just finished up Breaking Free with Beth Moore. I have loved studying it with other women who truly want to know what it means to love and serve God.

These woman know my heart. They don't judge me. They only see what God is trying to make me into. Here I don't have to follow an unachievable set of rules. I only need to have my heart right before my maker. And I am being equipped in how to do that.

And finally......

By Gods unmerited favor...which is the grace of God, I know what it means to be redeemed, bc I know how broken I was before. I know what it means to be sanctified, for I have been set apart and am being made....holy...before God.

And,I know that I know that I know..... that I am new. I am redeemed and I can wear that name proudly.

Psalm 107: 4-8 Some wandered in desert wastelands,
    finding no way to a city where they could settle.
 They were hungry and thirsty,
    and their lives ebbed away.
 Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble,
    and he delivered them from their distress.
 He led them by a straight way
    to a city where they could settle.
Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love
    and his wonderful deeds for mankind,
for he satisfies the thirsty
    and fills the hungry with good things

I remember reading these verses years ago and thought then how that described us. I felt we were wandering in a desert wasteland, not having a city where we could settle. We were spiritually starving and our life was ebbing away. I did cry out to God. And in his mercy, he delivered us from our distress.

In my Bible reading recently God led me to these verses again. And I wept. Because he answered the groanings of our heart. He led us by a straight way. He led us to a place where we could settle.

I will give thanks.

So this is my story. The one that isn't over yet. It is written from my perspective. I do not in any way shape or form mean to hurt anyone's feelings or to knock other churches. I know that God uses all things to work together for his good. All things. Before you judge this post and tear it apart piece by piece, hear my heart, and rejoice with me for what God has done in our life.

I would like to give a shout out to my mom. She has listened to me in frustration and anger. She has been my champion prayer warrior. She has heard my heart and have watched me grow over the years. She was always been there when I had a question or just needed to talk and share my fears. I have cherished each and every one of our talks. I appreciate your prayers for each of your kids, even though I know I am your favorite! ;) She has always challenged me to take every decision before the throne of God. To not move until he tells us to. Thank you.

Washington Strong

A couple weeks ago, Maddie and I were blessed with the opportunity to go to Washington Il to help with tornado relief. 6 months ago an EF-4 tornado came through and devasted this little town one Sunday Morning.

I have never done something like this and was looking forward to the opportunity.

One of the homeowners we talked to said that only 2 people died in the tornado. He said that there are 11 churches in the town of 15,000 people. Not one of the churches was hit. The tornado sort of meandered in its path and missed all 11 churches that were full of people worshiping God. If that doesn't give you goose bumps I don't know what will!!!

The people of the town have been working through the hard winter but still much needs to be done.

We had a group of about 40 people that went for the 2 day 1 night trip.

  We left early Thursday Morning and got back late Friday night. There were 2 groups. 1 group made up of I think 3 different teams working in the field, and the other group worked in the donation center.

Grace and Maddie waiting to start work.

My co-worker Mary Lou and I. It was fun spending time with her outside of work.



Grace and I trying to stay warm and dry.

I worked in the field. Field work consisted of doing whatever the homeowners needed. Whether it was doing much needed yard work or some home cleanup. Our team mainly did yard work. Imagine fall cleanup but with nails, glass, drywall, insulation, flooring, (really anything a house is made up of) instead of leaves.

Isn't this house amazing? This house has been "cleaned up" but is now waiting to be demolished so it can be rebuilt.

 

 




































I was amazed that this is 6 months after the tornado and so much work still needs to be done. I think that was a common statement over the time there.

I was also amazed that some houses you could tell that people were working to rebuild and some homes had not even been touched.

Most of the homes carried insurance which is a blessing, but most insurance will only cover rebuilding not the cleanup part.

It was pretty cool to see the community itself come together and help their friends and neighbors.

This is a tree stump. I can't even fathom the wind that did that.

Natalie... aka... Mary Poppins.

I think Maddie had a good time as well. I didn't spend a whole lot of time with her as she was in the donation center.

We stayed at a Baptist church Thursday night. We were for sure roughing it. We all brought sleeping bags and slept on the floor in the basement of the church.

I was thankful for coffee. Lots of coffee. And the fan that Michael and Carol brought ;)

I think one of the things I enjoyed most was spending time with and getting to know God's people more.

 

Waiting for work to start Friday Morning.

 

I was kinda amazed at the young people who came along. They worked hard and had fun while doing it.

I did things on this trip I never thought I would do..... like sitting on a dumpster lifting buckets of debris to empty.

or finding a pair of underwear buried in the grass in the front yard.

Some of our group with the owners of one of the houses we worked at. It was such a pleasure getting to spend some time with them and hear their story.

John and Glenda. Like I said before hearing their story was insane. He had been in the garage watching the storm and at the last minute headed for the basement to join his wife. He said that he barely made it to the basement and he said the next thing he knew he was standing in the door frame going into the basement and he felt like what he can only describe as a vacuume trying to pull him up. It took him a few minutes afterwards to realize that he was alive and ok. He could hear his wife asking where he was and all he could say was "I'm here."

If you ever get a chance to do something like this.... don't hesitate.

Just go.

I'm alive. I promise.

My day with Nathan

Last Sunday, Jeremy, Maddie and Emma weren't feeling the greatest.

I have been looking for an opportunity to spend some one on one quality time with Nathan.

We went to church.

Went out to lunch.

We had already planned to get our Christmas Tree last weekend, so Nathan and I decided we would go ahead and get it.

So out we went.

In the snow.

We searched all the trees until we found the perfect one.

Nathan did most of the cutting.

I only helped a little. ;)

Then we came home and decorated it.

I dare say it is the most perfect tree we have ever had.

It is the perfect size for our living room.

I actually really enjoyed it being just Nathan and I. We don't really get a lot of time with just the 2 of us. We don't get a whole lot of time together. I think I need to do that more often.

 

Isn't it funny how much better you feel once your tree is up?

 

Now if I could just start my Christmas shopping.

RaNdoMNess

It's Tuesday.

It's cold. I mean COLD!!

I am supposed to be at Bible Study but Emma has a cold. So we are home in the warm house with no where to be today.

Well....I could run to walmart for diapers and chicken broth...but like I said.

It's cold and Emma has a cold.

Emma is talking on her pretend phone to her Papa. She is telling him all about her pretty tree and the pretty lights and her babies. She can't forget about her babies.

I will be babysitting my friends little boy this afternoon.

I am sure that Emma will be excited to have a real baby in the house.

She should call Papa afterwards and tell him all about it.

I should be cleaning.

But I'm not.

Currently I am standing in the kitchen and the heat just kicked on. My toes appreciate that.

Cuz did I tell you it's cold.....

I didn't like crawling out of bed this morning to go to the gym.

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Have you seen THIS video?!?!    Go ahead watch it.

Ok, now buy the album.

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If you walked into my house today you would find:

floors that were attempted to be cleaned. What in the world do you use to clean hard wood floors with out them looking like they are all smeared? I have been using a mixture of vinegar and water and they look terrible today!

You would see a trail of toys. I have picked them up 12 times today. There is no hope. I give up.

You would smell a pork roast. I am making BBQ pork for dinner.

You would hear either Christmas music by the previously mentioned Piano Guys or ITunes Radio playing the Gaithers.

If you waited long enough, you would probably catch Emma playing with the Christmas ornaments. She particularly likes Nathans ornament he made with his picture on it. She walks around kissing it.

You would see the dishes done. Until lunch time.

You would see hand print smears on the front window and on the tv and the mirrors and well.... you get the picture.

You would hear the washer and dryer humming away. ( I am still so thankful for our washer and dryer)

You would see 2 black dogs curled up actually resting on their beds.

You MIGHT see me doing some baking later. Maybe.

What would I find if I walked into your house??