Made to Crave

Mark 8:34~ If anyone would come after me he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.

"With Jesus, if we want to gain we must give up. If we want to be filled we must deny ourselves. If we want to truly get close to God, we'll have to distance ourselves from other things. If we want to conquer our cravings, we'll have to redirect them to God. God made us capable of craving so we'd have an unquenchable desire for more of Him and Him alone. Nothing changes until we make the choice to redirect our misguided cravings to the only one capable of satisfying them."

What amazing stuff right there. I truly want to be close to God. I. want. to. be. filled. Not with crappy food. But with Christ.

The story of the rich man is such a great lesson for us. The rich man goes to Jesus and says...hey, I have followed all the rules. I have done what I should and still felt like he was missing something. His soul was still longing for something. Something that just keeping rules and regulations will never fill. Jesus says that all he has to do is sell his possessions, give his money to the poor and follow him. But the rich man can't do that. "The rich man goes away sad b/c he won't give up the one thing that consumes him. He is so full with his riches he can't see how undernourished his soul is." Imagine Jesus looking through the crowd straight to the rich man's soul and saying.....I want you to give up the one thing that you crave more then me. Then come, follow me.

Piercing thought isn't it?

Suddenly Jesus isn't staring at the rich young man; He's also staring at me-the inside me. The part I can't cover up with excuses and makeup. God sees my heart, He sees what my desires and my cravings are. He sees what I place before him.

Maybe your looking at me and saying....good grief you tub of lard, your making such a big deal over food. Well.....for me it's food. But what is it for you? What is it that comes between you and God in your life? Where do you turn in times of heartache and sadness? Or in times or boredom? Is it shopping? Or alcohol? Or sex? Is it drugs? Is it tv? What is it? Maybe it's none of these. Ask God to open your eyes to what it is and He will show you.

He will say to you.....give up the one thing you crave more then me and then come follow me.

Don't judge me to harshly before you attempt to give something up.

I have not done well this week. Food wise, I guess I'm OK. I have stayed under my calories, but I feel myself compromising this week. I feel myself slipping back into the old ways that I thought.

I don't want to go back. I refuse to go back.

1 day this week, I ate a cheeseburger for lunch. I was making them for the school lunch. And it looked good. It smelled good. I just plain ol' WANTED it. I counted up the calories and realized that it really wasn't that bad of a choice. I had the calories to eat it and so I did. And I enjoyed every single delicious bite of it. ( I might have licked the plate if I were alone!! ;) )

But then that night as I was thinking over my day. I regretted that cheeseburger. I could have made a wiser choice for lunch. I could have chosen something else that would have filled me and not left me with a shameful feeling in the end.

I know that I need something bigger then myself to keep me going. I need a "spiritual want-to empowered by God himself" to push me forward.

Lord, I need you. I need you to fill me with yourself so you and I can deal with these cravings.I want to go deeper with you. I want more and more and more of YOU. Please remind me to eat beneficial food for me and not the food I want at that fleeting moment. Help me to remember that this journey is NOT about counting calories it's about being filled with you. I don't want to be so consumed with calorie counting that I forget to seek you.

"Day by Day, God will give me enough want-to, laced with enough strength to be satisfied be healthy choices."

I have really struggled this week with knowing what food is a hindrance to me and what is beneficial to me. I have a calorie counting app on my phone that helps keep me accountable to what I put in my mouth. I have found it easy to get wrapped up in how many calories I am consuming and have kinda forgotten about the real reason why I am doing this. I have gotten puffed up at the number of weight that I have lost and forgotten to look at the one who has given me the strength to even get through 1 day. In turn I have gotten discouraged b/c the scale did not move this week. It is so easy to get caught up in the numbers of the whole journey and not focus on the changes that are going on in my heart and mind.

I love this verse is Hosea 10:12~Sow for yourselves righteousness, reap the fruit of unfailing love and break up your unplowed ground: for it is time to seek the Lord.

That's quite a verse isn't it.

Today Lord, may I deny myself, my you break up my unplowed ground. It is time to seek you.
(words in italics are taken from the book Made to Crave)

What is your next choice?

Has come to the conclusion that any cookie, no matter what the kind, when put into the oven will make you want to consume it, even if you don't like that particular kind. Just sayin.

Made to Crave

Well I have to say that last night was probably the hardest night that I have had while on this journey.

Seriously.

It was rough.

I don't know about you, but I have always been taught that calories don't count when you are with your girlfriends.

I don't know who started that. But it's a bold face lie.

Calories do count when you are with your girlfriends.

I will openly admit that I am BRAND NEW when it comes to counting calories. BRAND NEW.

I have never given thought to how many calories I should consume in a day or given even LESS thought to how many I was actually consuming. For a good week to week and a half, I have been keeping track of EVERY thing that I put in my mouth. Everything is counted. I have tried to keep my caloric intake around 1200. And I have done well. I'm not hungry at the end of the day and that to me is what matters.

Last night was the HUGE eye opener for me.

I went to dinner with my girlfriends last night. I being the good calorie counter looked 1st at the calories of what it is I wanted.

I immediately went to the double steakburger and ginormous fries with a side of blessed cherry coke.

Guess how many calories?? Over 1600!!!! For 1 meal! And that isn't including the 500 I could have consumed with the brownie sundae for dessert.

That.

is.

a.

sin.

2 months ago I wouldn't have given thought to ordering that. I would have said.....well, I want it, that's what I am going to eat.

So I thought......Ok, I will see about just a regular cheeseburger and small fry with maybe only 1 glass of coke.

Still 1000 calories. A 1000 calories!!!! That's crazy talk as my brother would say.

So instead, I begrudgingly ordered the southwest chicken salad with no chicken. It was good. It was filling. And I will order it again. (For the $7.50 that it was, I should have had twice as much as I was given.) I also had about 3 tall glasses of water. (so you can imagine where I was the rest of the night!! )

I consumed 300-350 calories last night and stayed within my calorie intake for the day. I was proud of myself for that. Yes, last night was hard. My flesh CRAVED that cheeseburger, fries, coke and brownie sundae.

If it were not for my friends (they literally told the waitress that if I order some dessert that she wasn't allowed to bring it to me.) who stopped me from throwing in the towel last night at what I have worked so hard for, I would have given in to that temptation. I would have woken up this morning and felt guilty for what I had done to to my body. To my body that doesn't belong to me. You see it is Christ's. He dwells in me. I need to treat my body with respect and feed it food that is beneficial to me. My body is the temple of the Holy Spirit.

So today. I am thankful for my friends who kept me accountable to myself and to God. I am THANKFUL that they didn't let me order that brownie sundae. I am thankful that they reminded me of my goal and made me remember that calories DO count. Even when you are with your girlfriends.

Made To Crave

1 of the places that kinda holds a special place in my heart is Beef A Roo. I know. I know. Not a typical place of endearment. BUT....it's where Hunny and I dated. A lot. I would get the 3 piece chicken strip meal and only be able to eat 2 pieces so he would get the last piece of chicken. And he would get usually the ham N swiss combo.

Have I mentioned the fries over there at Beef A Roo? No, I haven't. They really should be listed under my blog post title...things I love. They are almost the perfect fry. You can smother them with cheese or just plain ketchup and salt, the way I prefer. Yes. Beef A Roo holds many memories for us. We used to go to the old fashioned one on the south side of town. I used to always play the song yellow polka dot bikini on the juke box. :)

Since Hunny has been back to working nights for the past couple weeks, I was able to take a lunch break last week and go to lunch with him. ( Thanks Doug!!)

I will admit that I was slightly worried about what I was going to eat for lunch. What I REALLY wanted was that 3 piece chicken strip meal with the golden french fries drizzled with ketchup and salt with a tall glass of ice cold Mt Dew. THAT'S what I really wanted.

But......

What I got was the southwest black bean salad with a giant glass of lemon water. And if you are wondering yes, I did eat the sour cream. But I didn't eat the fried shredded tortilla chips.

While Hunny was up getting the food I had a heart to heart with God. I told him that what I really wanted was fries and that I didn't really think it was necessary that I not be able to have them. I told him that while I chose that salad that I didn't even know if I would like, what I really needed was for him to fill me, for him to satisfy my hunger and not make me hungry for more.

It was hard. I have to admit it. There were many times I looked longingly at Hunny's fries and ice glass of Mt. Dew.

But my prayer was answered.

I left the table that day satisfied. I didn't NEED even 1 of Hunny's fries. I am very grateful that God gave me the victory that day.

If I did it. Then you can to.

What will your next choice be?

Roller Skating

Wednesday night we had our annual church roller skating night. My kids look forward to this night so very much. And honestly....it is a fun night. Although I hate it when Hunny isn't there. I really do feel like half of me is missing.



Brother was a little unsure....just for a second. :) Then he was off. I couldn't get Dada to hold still for a second to snatch a picture of her. The thing she talks about most is going around with Tim and Amber...2 of the college kids. She said that she had never gone so FAST!!



Not everyone goes to skate. But what I love about our church is that it doesn't stop people from coming to fellowship with each other. Don't want to skate?? Let's play phase 10 then!! :)



Zach. My heart still melts at his smile.





Before you feel to bad for Beth b.c I posted this picture of her. Just know that she purposely posed with that face. (I think it was b/c Brad might have stunk.....he he)

Brother and his scooter

For Christmas Brother got an electric scooter. He was been waiting with anticipation for the snow to melt so he can ride his scooter. Well....the day has arrived. Last night Daddy and Brother put it together and had it charging all night. Hunny and I woke up this morning to Brother riding it through the house. :)



To say he likes it is the understatement of the year. He was outside this morning till he said he felt like his fingers were going to fall off. And just so you know...I did offer him gloves. ;)

College Kids

Last Sunday we had the opportunity to have the college kids over. What a fun day we had. I enjoy having the college kids. Its a day for them to just chill out. They can finish homework, take a nap, chill out....OR visit the local goodwill!! ;) They have no pressure on them to do anything other then have a great time. They do enough serving at our church I say!! When they come to our house it is a time for our family to serve them.



I had found a great deal on turkey a while back and had great plans of making shredded turkey sandwiches for the college kids. BUT....if you know me at all, you realize how forgetful I am. I forgot all about the fact that they were coming over until Friday. I didn't think it would be enough time to thaw and cook a whole turkey.




So plan B went into effect.

I figured....college kids.....what do college kids like that they don't normally get on a Sunday lunch. PANCAKES!! Who doesn't love pancakes!?!?



And a hit they were. I thought Lori might wet her pants when I told her what we were having!! :)



I made apple cinnamon, banana walnut, choc chip, and regular pancakes. Everyone chose their favorite and dug in!!



For some reason I failed to get a picture of Brian. Sorry!! :(



I will have to tell you that I. LOVE. PANCAKES. Especially banana walnut pancakes. I ALMOST broke down and ate 1. But thankfully Lori and Mary literally would not let me. :)



So instead...this is what I ate.



After all were stuffed to the very top of their heads....Lori and Tim jumped up and started the dishes. They didn't ask. They just started doing it. And refused to let me cut in. I so appreciated that.

Lori and Tim will be married early summer. I am hoping to be able to make the trip to the wedding. I have grown to really love my dear Lori and will miss her dearly when she leaves.