Made to Crave

This Made to Crave journey is so much harder then I ever thought it would be. People have commented to me that I am just not myself. They are wondering what is wrong with me. The truth is that I don't really feel "myself." My old self would...be stressed-eat a cookie.... get annoyed with a co-worker-eat a brownie....have a fight with my husband- soothe myself with a wonderful bubbly diet coke.....have no patience for your fighting children- ice cream will melt away the frustration.

Now, I still have those same triggers....annoying co-workers, fights with my husband, no patience for the kids. But my immediate....go to comfort has been taken away from me. It is hard, so hard to really rely on Christ during these moments. There isn't always this " A-Ha MOMENT" where Christ just takes away my cravings and makes me suddenly full of the spirit and has me jumping and shouting for joy. It's actually quite the opposite. I feel empty. I feel alone. I feel dissatisfied. I feel jipped because EVERYONE else can have whatever it is they want and I can't!!! I want to throw myself a pity party. I feel like if only I could eat just a B.I.T.E of that gooey chocolaty brownie my feelings would dissolve and everything would be made better. Everything would magically go away and my world would be made right once again.

I.

Am.

Unsettled.

I am not in my comfort zone of Christianity where I sort of know what to expect and sort of know what to do. This journey of craving Christ above all else has my emotions going crazy.

I honestly wonder if I am going through some sort of withdraw.

I do NOT want to quit this journey. I know that for once, I have given myself over completely to something. To a purpose bigger then myself. I have purposely put myself in a place of relying on something other then myself and food for what I need.

I have been discouraged this week. I will admit it. I have tried and tried and tried SO hard. I have not cheated. I have eaten only food that is necessary for my body. And the scale has went back up this week. It can be very discouraging. I will have to say that the mear fact that I have done so well is a victory in and of itself. So today, I will determine that no matter what the scale says, I will rejoice b/c with Christ's help, I am doing something.

I don't exactly know what Christ is doing in me. I know that b/c I do feel empty. B/c I do feel alone and dissatisfied, I have in turn yearned...craved for Christ this week. I have longed to meet with Him. I have begged Him to rid me of these cravings. I have had to rely on HIS strength to get me from 1 craving to the next. I have longed to hear his voice. And it's been with a deeper passion that I have ever known before.

There is a line to a song that I love...... The more of us we fill, the more that we become hollow.....the line has hit me so hard these past weeks. I can try and fill, fill, fill, with food that I don't need. I can sooth myself with everything else other then the thing that I most need and long for. And until I am filled with Christ nothing else will satisfy me. N.O.T.H.I.N.G.

Today, I refuse to quit. I refuse to fill myself with food not necessary for me. I refuse to allow satan victory in my life. I refuse to walk around defeated. I refuse to make my stomach my god. I refuse to let the numbers on the scale to define who I am. The number just weighs my body. My real worth is in my heart and soul. I will allow Christ to complete the work in me. I will walk in the spirit. I will allow Christ to be seen in me.

Today, if you see me and wonder if I'm not myself or what is wrong with me. I would have to say nothing. Christ is just working on me. He is chiseling away the flaws. He is healing past hurts in my life. (which is a whole nother blog post) He is forming me into his image.

I encourage you today to allow God to work in your heart. Let him chisel the rough edges. I can promise you that it won't be easy. I can promise you that you will feel like giving up. I will promise you that it just might one of the hardest things that you have ever done. But I will promise you that it will be worth it all in the end. I can promise you that you will see God in a whole new and wonderful way.

What will your next choice be? Will it be one that honors God or self?

Isaiah 43:18-19 Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See I am doing a new thing!....I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.

Proverbs 10:3

The Lord does not let the righteous go hungry but he thwarts the cravings of the wicked.

Made to CraVe

Never did I think that a simple little verse hidden in the book of Proverbs would play such an important part in my day.

Proverbs 4:25~Let your gaze look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you.

Never did I think that during the course of my day to follow would that verse be the one to keep me on track....

You see, I have a goal this year. My goal is to Crave God more then I crave food. I don't mean I'm not going to eat. But I am going to practice Self-control and when I crave.....whatever.....turtle cookies, concrete mixers, blessed sweet coke a cola, you name it, whatever I CrAve at that moment, I desire to replace Christ with that craving.

This particular day I was making corn dogs at school. Now corn dogs I can honestly say that I have never really CRAVED. I really could leave them. We don't normally buy them and have them around the house. But this day, I was hungry, I hadn't taken the time to stop and eat a proper breakfast, and once I started smelling that tantalizing corn dog. I wanted it. I desired it. I LONGED for it. All I could think about at that moment was taking just a bite, a teeny tiny bite of that wonderful corn dog.

I started out joking with people that they better stop me if I was going to start to eat it. But the more time that went on the more and more angry I got. I just wanted a bite. Everyone else could eat one. Even my helper who has to watch the carbs she eats was eating some. Why couldn't I just eat it.

I honestly started to feel like a crack addict going through withdrawal. I was shaky and CrAbBy!!!

But then God.....

Brought to my mind this simple little verse that he had instilled in my heart and soul in the quiet of my morning.

Let your gaze look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you.

Let my gaze look straight ahead to my goal. To the thing that I wanted more then the corn dog. I desired to know my God more. Fix my gaze directly before me. Don't be distracted by that corn dog, or bowl of mac and cheese that was calling my name that day also. Don't turn to the left or turn to the right. I want my focus to be solely before me to the God that is calling me for more then food.

So right then, instead of slathering that corn dog in ketchup and chowing it down, I stopped what I was doing a made my lunch of veggies. And they were WONDERFUL. They filled me up. I was satisfied with food that was convenient for me. I saved myself about 250 calories.

I am so thankful for the little verse. I still go back to it when I think of how bad I just hAvE to have whatever in that moment. But today, my gaze is fixed ahead.

Another verse that has been so helpful to me is...
1 Corinthians 6:12~Everything is permissible for me but not everything is beneficial. Everything is permissible for me but I will not be mastered by anything.

I am ALLOWED to eat whatever I want. No one is stopping me from eating anything. But just b/c I CAN eat something doesn't mean that I should. So while my friends tell me that just 1 bite of that cookie is ok, I really desire for now to stay away from it. And by the strength of God, and ONLY by the strength of God, I can say that I made it another day. Another day where I honored God with my choices.

I will say that I am SHOCKED with the choices I have made. If you knew me at all before you would be SHOCKED yourself to know that a major milestone was crossed this past weekend. I made it through the ladies meeting at church and only ate a salad and a sugar free dessert. I RESISTED Linda Whitfords most amazing delicious quite perfect in its wonderfulness homemade sugar cookies. It was hard. But I did it. I also didn't cheat while at our church fellowship the next day. Which is quite the feat if you have ever been to a baptist fellowship. We Baptist KNOW how to eat!!! I brought my own bag of veggies and cooked them up and ate a ginormous amount for lunch that day!! And the kicker for me was the super bowl party that I went to where they had my absolute MOST favorite......ruffles potato chips and french onion dip. You have no idea how many times I walked past that chip tray and just want to shove my face in and swallow the whole thing!! =) I have never used self-control like that before. Ever. I would have said that I couldn't do it.

But by the grace of God......... He gave me the strength to remain in him.

After all, remember the ultimate goal of this journey isn't about making me a smaller sized person but rather making me crave Jesus and his truths as the ultimate filler of my heart. We are to remain is his healthy perspective. Let His thoughts be our thoughts. Remain. Let His ways be our ways. Remain. Let His truths go to the depths of our hearts and produce good things in our lives. Remain. Approach this world full of incomplete people with the joy of Jesus. Remain. And see our skinny jeans as a fun reward, nothing more. Remain. And be led forth in peace b/c I have kept my happy tied only to Jesus. Remain.
~ taken from Made To Crave by Lysa Terkeurst

I am so thankful that God placed this book in my life. Seriously.....buy the book.

Made to Crave

Did anyone else follow the Made to Crave segments on Klove? I don't think that I have ever enjoyed a radio segment as much as I did those. I am not usually the kind of person who runs out and buys whatever anyone is selling. But I couldn't wait to get my hands on a copy of the book.


I have taken my time reading the book. There is SO much information in the book and I don't want to hurry through it and miss a little nugget of information. It has REALLY made a huge influence in how I think about the things that I crave.


Crave~have a craving, appetite or great desire for: Plead or ask for earnestly: to long for, yearn


What is it that you CrAvE in this life? What do you go to when you are celebrating something, or have a no good, rotten, very bad day? Where do you turn when your world is being turned upside down. Where do you go when you feel unloved or unwanted?


I know what it is for me.

What God wants is for us to CrAve him for then we crave anything else.


I desire to crave God more then I crave anything else. I want to place God 1st in my life above anything else.


So please tell me.....anyone else read this book? What has it meant to you. I am sure that my friends are sick of me talking about it. I think every day I want to tell something else that I have learned from it.

A perfect way to spend a snow day....

Last week we were blessed with 2 snow days. How excited we were. Tuesday night the kids and I were huddled around the tv watching the news to see if our school was closed. Dada was the 1st to see it and you would have thought she won the lottery. She started jumping up and down screaming, running through the house. The she actually started crying b/c she couldn't contain herself. I laughed and laughed and laughed.


Hunny had to work on Thursday which worked out b/c I was able to babysit Joanna's kids while she worked. My mom also came over for a visit....aka cookie making time. =) Since Jessica had to work, Mom also brought Jessica's kids.




The kids enjoyed their favorite lunch of Mac N Cheese with olives on the side....yuck.....and Mom and I made a delicious salad.




My Mom made oatmeal craisin cookies. Dada preferred to just pick out the craisins since those are 1 of her favorite things.

But all the kids were begging for more.




Funny story about the picture of my Mom. I walked into the kitchen to find my Mom scrubbing her baking sheet with my potato masher. =) She had never seen the pampered chef potato masher and she thought it was a flimsy scraper. She wondered why it didn't work so well!!!!





The kids and I made sugar cookies. I LOVE SUGAR COOKIES.


LoVe.


ThEm.



Micah was Mr. Cookie Maker. I think that he enjoys baking just as much as I do.



Grandma was impressed with Dada's knowledge in the kitchen.




These 2 yahoo's could care less about baking....until the comment was made that if they didn't help they wouldn't be able to eat the cookies.




That changed their impression of baking REAL quick. :)




I will have to say that there wasn't a mess under the table until Ethan and Brother came to "help." =)




Soon it was time to ice and eat the cookies.




Thankfully little Mr slept for a little while so the older kids (and auntie) were able to enjoy baking with the older kids MUCH more.

I so enjoyed my day with my Mom. We shared recipes and just chit chatted. It was a PeRfEcT snow day.

Side note.....notice the cup and saucer on the shelf behind my Mom? That is the cup that Hunny broke. I was able to glue that handle on. =) It is now sitting in a place of honor....not to be touched. ;)

blizzard 2011.....

I heard from my internet friend Shanda that 1 day last week was national choc cake day. So....in honor of choc cake day, we made carrot cake. ;) with cream cheese frosting.

YuMmY!!!!

I have been CrAvInG carrot cake for QuIte a while now and since we celebrated my Mom's bday last week, I made one. FiNaLlY.

And.

It.

wAs.

GoOd.

Since this cake was full of carrots AND walnuts, it can't be ThAt bad for you right?!


I am very very sad to announce that my absolutely MoSt favorite coffee cup has been broken. I was doing laundry the other night and heard a crash coming from the kitchen right above the laundry room. I immediately had that sinking feeling and knew it wasn't good. Hunny was doing the dishes and.....well......you know what happened next.

He said that he was going to TRY to fix it before I found out, but couldn't get it. And he figured I just might notice a handle missing off my cup. ;)

I can't wait to go shopping for a new cup!! =)



In other news........

We have gotten just a LiTtLe bit of snow....Just a LiTtle.

I think I heard reports of 13.8 inches. I think we could use a couple more inches. I mean what's a couple more when you already have 13?

I know our family could use a couple more snow days!!

We went out in the middle of the storm last night and attempted to shovel part of the mess. It was of course pointless cuz by the time we were done, you could barely tell where we started. But we had fun, and it made me miss Joe and Steph. I was remembering the time that we all shoveled....I mean played in the snow.....1 night during a snow storm.




Brother was up at 6:30 this morning and by 7:30 was already ready to go play.



Which he and Sissy did.



The snow is very pretty today.



A perfect morning for pancakes and coffee. A perfect day for a big ol pot of homemade chicken noodle soup simmering on the stove.

Hunny was told yesterday not to come in to work till 11:30. Since we can't get out of the alley Hunny's dad came and picked him up. They made it to work only to find out that it's closed and he doesn't have to work. So Yah!!! He's on his way home!!

I lOvE snow days!!!!

Let's all hope and pray for another one tomorrow!!!!

I am so grateful for the safety that God has granted everyone during the storm. I know that people have been stranded on roads and in safe shelters, but I haven't heard of serious injuries or deaths due to the storm. That's a blessing!

Something to think about....

I recently overheard a conversation about kids in church. 1 person was describing an incident that they saw at their church 1 Sunday, where kids disrupted the service. (I personally know of times when people complain about the bus kids at our church interrupting the service. It annoys me every time someone starts in on this topic. More times then not the person complaining has a annoyed, intolerant attitude about the child they are complaining about. I feel bad for the child involved.)

Anyway, the complaining of the children is what led to the statement that they didn't think that children should ever be running around in the auditorium let alone even be ALLOWED to step foot on the platform.

Which ok, I can go down with that. Children should be taught respect of God's house. I totally agree with that. Children should not run around the auditorium or the main building of the church. Personally it just boils down to a respect of God's house.

But the reason behind why children shouldn't be allowed in particularly on the platform annoyed me. And I have thought on it for the past couple days. This person said that they didn't think children should be allowed on the platform b/c that is where the man of God delivers his sermon. That is the place where he delivers his words from God and it is a high and holy place.

That's where it gets tricky for me. Yes, that is obviously the place where the pastor preaches from. BUT God can move anywhere. I personally rarely have a moving experience from God on any given Sunday. I hear from God in the quiet place when I seek him early in the morning. That is the place where I have grown so much. That is the place where God convicts me. Does that mean that God doesn't move on Sunday morning from the pulpit? Absolutely not!! But I refuse to box God in and say that this high and holy man can only deliver God to the people from the platform during a service.

The thing that I keep going back to in my mind is that even if it were true....isn't there a verse in the Bible about the disciples pushing the children away from Christ, and Christ saying something like suffer not the little children to come to me. IF the only place that we can hear from God is on the platform then shouldn't the children be allowed to be there?

With that being said....I do think at least in my experience that we should teach our children a little more respect for the house of God. Kids shouldn't be running around causing chaos. But that's the same whether your in church at in a home. Children should be taught respect for the things around them.

My Brother in law brought these verses to my attention......
John 4:19-26~The woman saith unto him, Sir, I perceive that thou art a prophet. Our fathers worshipped in this mountain; and ye say, that in Jerusalem is the place where men ought to worship. Jesus saith unto her, Woman, believe me, the hour cometh, when ye shall neither in this mountain, nor yet at Jerusalem, worship the Father. Ye worship ye know not what: we know what we worship: for salvation is of the Jews. But the hour cometh, and now is, when the true worshippers shall worship the Father in spirit and in truth: for the Father seeketh such to worship him. God [is] a Spirit: and they that worship him must worship [him] in spirit and in truth. The woman saith unto him, I know that Messias cometh, which is called Christ: when he is come, he will tell us all things. Jesus saith unto her, I that speak unto thee am [he].

Just something to think about......