Oh wo is me

Luke 22:41-44 ~ And he was withdrawn from them about a stone's cast, and kneeled down, and prayed, Saying, Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done. And there appeared an angel unto him from heaven, strengthening him. And being in an agony he prayed more earnestly: and his sweat was as it were great drops of blood falling down to the ground.

While I was reading my Bible yesterday these verses hit me like a ton of bricks.

I wasn't going to write about this. But when I read these verses it made me realize what a baby I was. This past weekend, I think I had myself a real pity party. I was emotionally a wreck.

If you know me, you know that is out of character for me. I think that I am usually in control of my emotions.

But not this past weekend. I feel like I have for the most part handled the trials that we are going through pretty well. I have held my head high and just dealt with what has been thrown at us. I have had complete trust in my God.

Except this weekend, my faith started to waver. I started looking at our circumstances. I looked at the NEVERENDING trials, and not at my God who can part the seas, or send manna from heaven and can make man walk on water.

I didn't realize how bad it was until I called my friend who I haven't talked to in a while just to chat and check up with her. She asked me how I was, and I just let loose. I literally broke down in tears to her. And she cried with me.

Then yesterday, I read these verses and thought about what Jesus was facing. Jesus was facing torture, persecution and death. He knew what was going to happen to him and he still did it. He did that for me. For my sins.


And being in an agony he prayed more earnestly: and his sweat was as it were great drops of blood falling down to the ground.

This verse hit me the most. As "agonized" as I was, not once did I pray so earnestly that I had sweat drops falling to the ground. In fact, I didn't even brake a sweat. In fact, I didn't even pray....thy will be done. I wanted this trial to come to an end, and I wanted it finished right then and there.

How completely idiotic of me. I feel like a fool. This trial is nothing. I mean it is, but in the grand scheme of life, this is just a chapter in our life, that God WILL bring us through. Yes, we feel a little burned and bruised right now. Yes, we have had some discouraging days...... when the truck breaks down AGAIN. But we also have seen God working.....like when we found that yes, his unemployment IS going to be extended. PTL!!!!

God is here, carrying us through to the other side of this trial. Of this I am certain.