One clear answer

I had a bad day yesterday. I don't have to many really bad days, but yesterday I had one. It started out good. After work, I went out to lunch with my friend Sherrie. Sherrie and I sort of have to steal time together. Both of our lives are very busy, and it is hard to find time together. But when we get together, it's like no time has passed between us. We have some really good talks, and some even better laughs. I always go away from Sherrie refreshed. Sherrie and I usually talk about different things that go on in our lives. And yesterday was no different. I don't make it a habit to go around to people and tell them exactly how I am feeling about different things. A lot of times, I don't really know how I feel about a certain subject until I talk to 1 of my good friends. They help me work out what is going through my head. So needless to say, when I left Sherrie, my mind was racing with all that we talked about.

The big thing in my life right now is this whole vehicle situation. We know that the car we are using is temporal. I can almost feel a clock ticking telling me when we have to give it back. Added on top of that is the knowledge that the car isn't working well either. I am thinking that the transmission is going on it. That is just added stress on the whole situation.

For about the last week, I have been hearing ads on the radio advertising a car dealership that is having a sale on vans. The vans are at a great price right now. Almost 1/2 off.

I know that we are going to have to do something about our vehicle. But I feel like we are just stuck between a rock and a hard place. We just aren't able to go and get a new one. But the knowledge that we need to do something is haunting me.

So with all this, I have been wondering what we should do. I couldn't tell what God wanted us to do. I didn't know if he wanted us to go searching for a vehicle, and trust him to somehow get a loan, and somehow be able to make the payment. Or I didn't know if he just wanted us to continue to wait on him to provide something for us. So I decided to pray that God would give us a clear answer as to what he wanted us to do. Whether to open a door by going car shopping, or waiting on him. Yesterday all these thoughts were just swirling around in my head.

Last night was also Wednesday, church night. I was so not up for church last night. We had had a late night the night before, and I just wanted to put the kids in bed and go to bed myself. But when Brother came in at 5:30 asking what time we were leaving for church, we just couldn't say no. So I was in a foul mood about that. (Terrible isn't it??)

All night I was crabby and irritable. I knew that I was acting wrong. I was short with the kids and with Hunny. But I was focused on myself. I was letting outside circumstances steal my joy. If I was honest with myself. It did my soul good to sit in church and hear the word of God spoken. I was able to just sit and listen. And the service was good. It was about going to the Rock during times of trouble. Kind of what I needed right?!?! And again, I really prayed and asked God to really give me a peace about what we should do. So finally by the end of the night, I was feeling a little less overwhelmed, and I could see beyond myself and to how badly I was treating my family.

I went to bed with a prayerful heart last night. And when I woke up this morning, I started in my bible reading, and guess what? I think that God really gave me an answer. Why is it that I am surprised when God answers my prayers?? Anyway, in Psalm 59: 9-10 says Because of his strength will I wait upon thee: for God is my defence. The God of my mercy shall prevent me: God shall let me see my desire upon mine enemies.

I almost skipped over it. But the 1st part....Because of his strength will I wait upon thee. To me, it was just so clear to me. And that is what I was praying for, a clear answer.

I still don't know what we are waiting for, or even why we need to wait for that matter. But I know that God told me to wait. And wait I will do. Hunny just said that God told him that we should just get bikes!! :)