a joyful nusiance

I am a mother, wife, child of the King, daughter, nurse, teacher, house cleaner, laundress, cook, chauffer, a waitress. I am a lover. I am kind, I am funny (ok, sometimes,) I am a jokester. As I sit here and think about this list, I can't help but think that I don't like all of these things that I do in a day. In fact, I don't like a lot of them. Some of them, I love and cherish. But some, I really don't want to do. For one, I work as an aid in a school here in town. And while I am soooo grateful for the opportunity to be able to work there, I really would rather be home. I do not like working w/ kids. They can be dirty, germy, mean, naughty little things. But they can also be downright funny and sweet at the same time. I pray that God changes my heart, and I learn to like being w/ these kids. Many of them really need someone in their life to just love them, to hug them, to be there for them. And right now, God has made that person me, so I need to really work at doing my job to the honor and glory of God. I wonder why I fight him so much? I know what he wants me to do, but I don't do it. At school, I am constantly saying, just obey, I tell them there only job is to obey me, and yet when it comes my turn to obey, I do the same as the 4 yr olds, I take my time, dragging and kicking my feet in the process. And I am sure that like God, there are so many times, that I am not going to yell at the kids, but on the contrary, reward them, and still, the come kicking and dragging there feet. So they don't get the reward. How many times does God do that to us, he calls us, only to bless us, and yet we miss out on the blessing, b/c we don't obey right away? I think about that all the time. I can think of a time just this weekend that I disobeyed God, and he sort of got me in the end. I had gotten money for Christmas f/ my sister, and I was going to buy a bag, but the bag that I wanted hasn't been in the store, they had ran out. Well, hubby has been layed off since before Christmas, and one day we really needed my Christmas money for groceries. And hubby said that as soon as he got a job, I could go get the bag. Well, he got a job (yah!!) and I went this weekend to get the bag, but the whole way to the mall, I could hear God in the background saying, you really don't have this money to spend right now, you have bills to pay, save you rmoney, but I kept pushing him out of the way, telling myself that I deserve this bag, I didn't get a christmas present, it's okay. Well, the store didn't have the bag I wanted, and they wouldn't be getting them in anymore, but they had a smaller one just like it. But I had to buy some perfume and lotion to get the bag. So I really debated about it, and ended up still buying it, knowing full well that God was telling me no. Fast forward till the next day, and I had layed the perfume on the computer desk, and my daughter came by and knocked it on the floor and broke the sprayer on the bottle and now I can't even use the bottle. If I would have just obeyed him and waited I am sure that this wouldn't have happened. Hopefully next time, I will walk in the spirit and not in the flesh. I don't deserve anything, it is by his grace that I am saved, and his grace is sufficient for me.